Coping with grief and loss
View(s):The process of grieving has no right or wrong way.
What is grief?
Grief is an emotional suffering when something or someone attached to us is taken away. Unexpected emotions such as shock, disbelief, anger, guilt and intense sadness may be felt time to time. Grief can affect your thinking process and physical health. These are considered as normal and natural reactions to loss. Grief may cause you to withdraw from others. Although the most intense type of grief is associated with the death of a loved one, there are other situational causes to grief:
- A serious illness faced by a loved one
- Divorce, Relationship breakup
- A miscarriage
- After a traumatic experience
Even a subtle loss can trigger a sense of grief (being away from home etc.)
Whatever the loss is, it is personal to you, and there is no need to feel ashamed about how you feel.
The grieving process takes time, and eventually you will be healed.For some individuals the grieving process may take a few weeks to even months. Know that your grieving process will be unique to you.
Myths and facts
| Myths | Facts |
| The pain will soon fade away if you ignore | Trying to ignore the pain will only worsen the condition. |
| You should “Be strong” during time of loss | Feeling sad, lonely is a normal reaction to loss. |
| If you do not cry, it means you are not sorry about the loss | Those who do not cry may feel the pain just as ones who cry. They may have other ways of coping. |
| Moving on with life means you have forgotten about the loss | Moving on is a sign that you have accepted the loss. It is not similar to forgetting. You still will keep the memories of the person as an important aspect in life. |
Symptoms
The stress of a major loss can decrease our energy levels faster.
Emotional symptoms
1. Shock and disbelief: It may be difficult to believe what happened. You may feel numb at the beginning.
2. Sadness: You may experience feelings of emptiness,loneliness, also you may cry a lot and feel emotionally unstable.
3. Guilt: Also there can be an instance where you thought it was a relief when the person died rather than living to suffer from a difficult illness. You may also tend to feel guilty for not doing enough to prevent death, although there was nothing left to be done.
4. Anger
5. Fear: A significant loss can trigger range of worries (fear, anxiety, helplessness, insecurity, responsibilities to be faced).
Physical symptoms
1. Weak immunity
2. Nausea
3. Easily fatigued
4. Body aches
5. Sleeping problems
Seeking support
1. Family and friends: some take pride in being strong and self-sufficient, even when assistance is offered. Rather than avoiding them, try to stay connected with close ones.
2. Embrace in the comfort of spiritual activities that are meaningful to you (praying, meditating, reading or listening to spiritual articles).
3. Talk to a therapist or grief counselor: if you think it is too much to handle, get in touch with a professional mental health practitioner who is experienced in grief counseling.
Let’s learn to pick up the pieces and move on with life.
- Express your feelings in a creativemanner: write about it in personal journal. You may write a letter to your loved one.
- Maintaining your hobbies
- Be aware of grief triggers: Anniversaries, birthdays, can trigger memories. You may experience intense emotions, and know that it is normal to feel that way.
- Get adequate amount of sleep, exercise regularly, eat healthy.
- Live in the present moment
- Your grief is your own matter, no one can say it is time to “move on”.
As time passes it is normal for feelings of sadness, anger to be less intense. If you still do not feel better over time or if it is getting worse, it may be developing into acomplicated grief: denial of the death and feelings of emptiness and meaninglessness in life.
The main differences between grief and depression:
| Grief | Depression |
| Experience wide variety of emotions with good and bad days | Feelings of emptiness and hopelessness are constant |
| You may still have moments of pleasure and happiness even during the grieving process |
If you are experiencing any of the symptoms talk to a mental health professional immediately.
“Embrace your grief. For there, your soul will grow” – Carl Jung