5th Column

My dear Ranjan,

I am writing to you because you are the man of the moment these days, although for all the wrong reasons. You have been sent to prison for four years for contempt of court, for saying that most members of a certain profession are corrupt – and it is difficult to know whether to laugh or to cry.

You are, of course, not new to controversy. You have been outspoken at all times, and always called a spade a bloody shovel. That has also been your problem. Just like the proverbial fish, we knew you would perish one day because of your mouth – or what came out of it. Now, that has happened.

Just last year there was that scandal about the audio tapes. It shed some light on how politicians in Paradise operate. It gave us an insight on how deals are done and favours are returned. It taught us that in Paradise, what matters is not what is right, but who you know and who you can call for help.

Still, what you did was illegal because you didn’t get others’ consent to tape their conversations. It got many people into a lot of trouble – and that included police officers and even judges. Some of them are languishing in prison because of that. Yet, you always said you were only trying to expose the truth.

Charges related to those tape recordings are still pending in courts against you, but that must be of the least concern to you now. You have committed the cardinal sin of saying that those who are in a noble profession are corrupt. We can all be the judge of that, so how dare you insult them, Ranjan?

You are not the first person to say that, though. Your friend SB got into trouble for talking about ‘balu theendu’. He was sent to prison for two years for that, but then, he had friends in high places and Mahinda maama pardoned him after just over a year – but he was never the same firebrand ever again.

Then there was Gnanasara in his saffron robes. He was sent to prison for making insulting remarks in court. He too had friends in high places. Cheerio Sirisena pardoned him just before he said cheerio – one of the many acts that fellow did which did not benefit him, anyone else or the people of Paradise.

Ranjan, you must know by now that in Paradise, Justice, like God, works in mysterious ways. At times, the wheels of justice turn very slowly for certain people but they run at lightning speed for others. Soon after an election, which is where we are now, they start turning in the opposite direction.

Consider recent events. Mahinda maama’s secretary Lalith and his sidekick who were convicted by a court of law for stealing ‘sil redi’ and sent to prison were acquitted and released, also by a duly appointed court of law. So, how dare you say that those who preside there are corrupt, Ranjan?

Charges were laid against Johnny from Kurunegala for failing to declare his assets and the case was proceeding in a court. A couple of months after a big election, all those charges were dropped and he was acquitted and discharged. So, how dare you say that those who preside there are corrupt, Ranjan?

Then there is Janaka from Matale who was charged with murder and the case was proceeding. Just a few days after the same big election, it was ruled that the indictment against him was unjust and it was dismissed. So, how dare you say that those who make those wise decisions are corrupt, Ranjan?

Then there was the case where Keheliya was charged with having his mobile phone bill paid by the state. A few months after that same election, a higher court ordered a lower court to dismiss the case. He too was discharged. So, how dare you say that those who decide so wisely are corrupt, Ranjan?

This week, Pillayan, who was charged with murdering a parliamentarian was discharged. He will enter Parliament where he can compare notes with Choka malli who has been convicted of murder. Yet, they have all followed the law, so how dare you say those who judged them are corrupt, Ranjan?

There are other cases pending against Prasanna from Gampaha, Rohitha from Kalutara and Wimal and Gammanpila. Now, even if you are a betting man, you should not bet on the outcome of these cases because we all know very well that they will be decided purely on merit, won’t they, Ranjan?

It is interesting that your sentence is for four years unless you ask for a pardon – which you said you won’t do. So, you will be behind bars for the rest of the term of office of this government. I hope you don’t think that is carefully calculated because that must surely be a co-incidence, right?

In this game, what matters is not what you do but how you do it. You too should have followed the ‘Harin method’ – of saying what you wanted in the House by the Diyawanna Oya. Then, all you would have got was barrage in return from you-know-who. Then, you could have complained about that!

Some are already suggesting that your political career is effectively over, Ranjan, because you won’t be able to run for office for seven years after your release. I hope you are not disheartened by that because this is, after all, Paradise, where anything is possible and stranger things have happened!

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha

PS: In prison, you may run into Duminda. You might want to cultivate his friendship. You may ask why? We elected Nandasena to replace Sirisena as we thought he will do better. So, if Sirisena can pardon Jayamaha surely Nandasena can do better and pardon Duminda? Next, it could be your turn!