The Art of Bouncing Back
As all of you are aware I am Philip Nehri Mullegama. I come from a broken family, my mum left me when I was just about 3-5 years (I cannot recall precisely). My life at home was extremely downcast without a mother at home. Even though I was born to a poor family and my grandfather was a domestic, my father managed to admit me to St. Joseph’s College through the influences he attained. I hated being at home, I always wanted to be with my friends. Unfortunately, I made some very unwise decisions in picking my friends and associates. I started using Heroin, a dangerous drug at the age of seventeen (17). I was a brilliant student at St. Joseph’s College, I studied in the mathematics stream. In no time the dreams and aspirations of my parents were shattered, I could not excel in my studies like I used to.
Heroin is a highly addictive and dangerous drug, it took control of my entire life in a very short span of time. Life became awfully miserable, I could not live without heroin, as it is a highly addictive drug, I completely lost control over my physical abilities. I was pushed to live in the streets because I was physically weak. I was unable to earn the quick bucks that I was usually good at earning while I was physically strong. On three occasions I tried to escape the reality of life. Once I drank poison and suffered a great deal, I was tube fed until I recovered. Then at another occasion I hung myself and was fortunately saved by some onlookers. Finally, I cut the main vein in my left hand, yet I was miraculously saved. Due to this abnormal and highly aggressive behaviour that was far from the general human understanding, my father took me to meet a Psychiatrist.
I was diagnosed as a mentally ill patient and I was immediately admitted to the Angoda National Mental Hospital. I still reminisce the tears in my father’s eyes. At two other occasions I was admitted to two other mental hospitals. Ones by Dr. Usha P. Gunawardena and thereafter by Dr. Saman Hettige. I escaped from the hospital at one occasion, there onwards I was pushed to the streets where I begged for a living. I used to beg on the streets of Dehiwala, Nugegoda and at the bus halt which was opposite the previous William Grinding Mills. Life became so miserable and I was completely suffering by all means. Everybody left me, nobody was there to love me. Ones I wanted to propose to a prostitute near William Grinding Mills to marry me, as I thought that only a prostitute would love a worthless person like me. My entire youth was wasted at Drug Rehabilitation Centres. I executed mass escapes from rehabilitation centres at several occurrences. At one point I was rejected by almost all the available rehabilitation centres in the country. When I had no place to sleep, I used to sleep inside toilets which were outside shopping malls.
Since all the Rehabilitation Centres rejected me, I made a request to my father to buy pain killers for me so that I can overcome the physical symptoms of the addiction. After I overcame the physical symptoms, I made a firm decision in my life to completely surrender my life to the hands of the Almighty God. That is when I started the second chapter of my life. On the first day that I went to church all I had was a tattered Rs.20 note inside the pocket of my ragged blue jeans. My father encouraged me to do CIM-UK, but studying was a tremendously difficult task for me as my system was not tuned into the study mode for many years. Yet, I did not give up, I studied really hard. Some days I used to study for an entire day at one stretch, starting from morning to the next morning. I sow the seeds of dreaming big. I built up a huge dream of achieving the best all island results for CIM-UK. Every time I told my friends about my dream, they said I was crazy. By the grace of Almighty God, I was able to attain the best results in Sri Lanka at the final stage of CIM-UK and I also won the Sri Lankan prize for Analysis & Evaluation for the same stage.
I also became the first Sri Lankan to be awarded a full scholarship from the Government of the United States in the field of Therapeutic Community Psychological Counselling. I became a Counsellor certified by the USA. Furthermore I was honoured with a Doctorate from the United Nations University for Global Peace for my astonishing come back in life. The proposal for my doctorate was unanimously signed by 120 governors of UNUGP for 120 countries.
I was the former Head of Marketing for the South Asian Region of Sri Lanka’s market leading cosmetics brand Nature’s Secrets and I presently serve as the CEO for Chandanalepa, the pioneering Ayurvedic Cosmetics brand in Sri Lanka which has courageously stepped to 18 countries across the world, inspiring many local brands to reach the global market.
I am a Senior Lecturer for the Sri Lanka Institute of Marketing – the national body of marketing in Sri Lanka. I also serve as a well reputed corporate trainer and personality development coach. There are very few people in this society who are willing to help the lost. I am ever so grateful to Dr. Rohantha Athukorala for helping me to move into lecturing.
It was not at all easy to start life at the age of thirty (30), however I initiated the second chapter in my life with just a tattered twenty rupee note in my ragged jeans. Everybody left me, there were times I slept inside trains and on the streets. Every time I tried to take a step forward a voice within me kept saying “Give up, your time is over”. There are a few key points I kept practicing during the second chapter of my life. I would like to designate this article as the “Art of Bouncing Back”. Here are the key ingredients that you will need:
Appetite to Climb High – Just as your body is hungry for food, you should also crave to climb high. You should constantly question yourself “Have I done better than yesterday?”
Understand Your Greatest Enemy – I have never intended to compare myself to anybody else, my comparison has been purely ‘ME TODAY vs ME YESTERDAY’. I never had the intention of becoming anyone, I always wanted to create a unique brand personality for myself. People said that maintaining long hair would be an obstacle for me to climb high. When I was once headhunted by a large local company, the Chairman asked me with subtlety if I would like to alter my look with a different hairstyle. I asked him if he was interested in hiring an exceptional brain or an average brain with a decent haircut. I am in great love with me, therefore I take pride in myself.
Don’t be Fed by Nonsense – Your life is comparable to a garden. You have the liberty of either sowing weeds or fruitful seeds in your garden. John Lennon and the Beatles were rejected at their first attempt when they presented their song to one of the famous recording studios at that time. However rejection could not halt their hunger for success. Their inner voices were more firm than the external voices they heard at the recording studio. Albert Einstein, the famous scientist was identified as a slow learner during his childhood, yet his hunger to seek the unseen was greater than the negativity of his teachers. Einstein became one of the greatest scientist the world has ever known, he is the great inventor of the theory of relativity. I have no time for nonsense. I ignore negative people and their pessimistic nonsense. I have banned watching certain TV channels in my house because they feed chaos to our minds. Some relatives are also not encouraged to visit my house as they tend to feed our minds with worthless rubbish whenever they visit us. Everybody goes through their own dramas in life, therefore I do not think anyone wants somebody else’s dramas.
Let No Room for Procrastination – Procrastination is greatly venomous, it could destroy your life. There is nothing known as ‘Tomorrow’ in the realm of existence. It has only ‘Today’. If you miss living today, you will have many regretful yesterdays which will create a lot of fearful tomorrows. Some youngsters who postpone washing their clothes and plates outgrow to become adults who postpone their further studies, marriage, constructing a house of their own etc.
Break the Chains of Fear – Fear will make you a slave in the den of isolation. It will make you a prisoner of your past and cease you from progressing to the future. I have a friend who was prisoned for 25 years, he told me that he felt completely lost when he was released after 25 years. Even though he was caved in the prison, the world travelled to the future, therefore he found himself obsolete. If you allow fear to take control over you, then you will live in the same frame of mind, but the world evolves from one level to another in terms of modifications in lifestyle, technology, infrastructure, culture and many other transforming aspects. Therefore, break the chains of fear and move forward. Lift your hand up and voluntarily say “Let me do the presentation”.