Dwarf Thoughts and Dwarf Dreams
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As a student of St. Joseph’s College, I used to glance at the Achcharu vendor at the entrance of the school gate each and every day. Even though there was a pastry shop in front of the College named “Joes Snacks”, I never thought of sourcing Rs. 10/= to buy snacks.
My only dream for the day was to find Rs. 1/= to buy mango achcharu. After school, my only dream was to find Rs. 2.50/= to buy two dosa from the dosa boutique next to the St. Mary’s Church in Dehiwala.
When I was suffering in life due to my addiction to drugs, my only thought was to become a showroom manager, a job beyond that was too far for me to fathom. In a nutshell beyond one mango was too big a dream for me to ponder, beyond two dosa was ahead of the capacity of my mind. Even though I was physically capable and strong, my mind was behaving like a dwarf. I possessed only dwarf thoughts thus my dreams were also microscopic. This dwarf thinking pattern led me to think that only a prostitute would marry a rejected person like me, therefore I approached a prostitute who used to be close to the previous William Grinding Mills junction to become my life partner.
A skinny person could grumble and remain skinny forever or he could challenge his status quo by going to the gymnasium and building his body according to his dream. Your destiny relies on how your mind is programmed to think and dream. If you think like a Giant, your dreams will remain gigantic, if you think like a dwarf, then your dreams will also remain tiny. We may inherit certain negative values and attitudes from our parents and grandparents. Nevertheless, we can definitely transform them if we are really eager. You must understand that your mind is a trillion times more advanced than the most advanced computer in the world. Your conscious and sub conscious mind will store every style of thinking of yours and it will later consider other similar styles as a thinking pattern and define it as your accepted pattern of thinking. When you continuously contemplate like a dwarf, your mind will define you as a dwarf, based on that definition, your dreams will emerge as miniature dreams.
At the trainings I conduct, I encourage all the participants to maintain something called “A Dreams Book” where I teach them to note down all their dreams, regardless of if they are materialistic or non-materialistic dreams. At the closure of the training, I advised them to evaluate those dreams on a quarterly basis just as they would measure their weight on a scale after a heavy workout. The famous saying by Bill Gates “If you are Born Poor it’s not your mistake, but if you Die Poor it’s your mistake” is accurate, because you have no say with regard to the womb you are placed, the country you will be born in and the time you will come to the world, they are purely not your decisions. Yet you have the free will to decide what you should do and how you should do them whilst you are in this world. Thus, you will be held accountable for every decision and every action you take during life’s journey.
It is essential to understand that what is gone is gone, there is nothing that can be done apart from deriving learning experiences out of the past events. However, it is up to you to “Make the Rest of Your Life, the Best of Your Life”. I have been able to elevate brands which were not the market leaders to achieve market leadership. History could be converted through strong decisions and committed actions.
The challenge is to overcome your negativity. If you smoke after every meal, then your mind will define smoking after a meal as a pleasurable deed. The first day you attempt to avoid smoking a cigarette after your meals, your mind will signal you that you are not gaining pleasure. Therefore, you are discontent, as the action that was defined as pleasurable at one point seems to be missing. It is not that you lack pleasure, it is that your mind is signaling you that it is lacking what it once thought was pleasurable. At such instances what you need to do is to constantly feed your mind with rich evidence and knowledge that justifies the fact that smoking a cigarette after a meal is not pleasurable.
I agree that it is a demanding challenge similar to requesting a European to stop eating his accustomed Western food at once and start eating rice and curry. His system will immediately reject the rice and curry the moment it reaches his taste buds, as it is not the food that his system has approved as his accepted flavor. Nevertheless, if he decides that it is more beneficial for his health and wellbeing and he continuously feeds his mind with the thought that it is healthy for him, one fine day after many rounds of battling, his mind will say “Oh Okay”.
Just picture the first day you try to feed solids to an infant. He will cry and throw a tantrum as if we are attempting to harm him. That is merely because his mind is accustomed to accept the mother’s breastmilk as his only type of food and he cannot live without it. The moment you offer something that he has not tasted earlier, even though it may be nutritious and is the best for him, he will keep rejecting it with all his might. Does that mean that solid food is bad for him? No, not at all, it is just that his mind thinks that the only thing that is good is what he is used to consume. Addiction is a similar process as well. It is not that alcohol is good for you, it is that your mind has defined that it makes you happy when you consume alcohol, as it recalls that alcohol has contributed to all your joyful memories.
Therefore, train your children to look at the bigger picture, to be strong and bold so that they attain the strength to challenge the challenges in life.
Train them to stand on their own feet from the age of ten. Do not forget to keep close watch with intimate guidance. If not, they will struggle in life when they are on their own because their mind has never been trained to think, dream and act as giants and independent individuals.
I hate sad heartbreaking love songs which depicts the sorrow of rejection, they simply try to enslave the youngsters into a cave of rejection. If someone leaves adamantly without paying any attention to our story, then it is pointless going after him/her. Instead, move forward in life and find a suitable partner who would accept you for who you are and not for what you obtain. In conclusion get over thinking in the small frame, as it will only limit you with miniature dreams. Just think seriously about what you are going to pass on to your children. Will you pass a baton of ‘Dwarf thinking’? Or a baton of ‘Gigantic thinking’?
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philipnehri@chandanalepa.lk /
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