Appreciations
View(s):‘Mother Courage’, with apologies to Brecht
Rita Perera
Hers was a daunting task, at a time when it was unheard of for a woman to venture forth thus. It was the all-consuming love for her sons, which sustained her in her day-to-day struggles. She laughingly used to relate a humorous anecdote, how one day when she was wearily travelling home by train, after another fruitless job-hunt, she looked up to see a hoarding with the word, “Courage” written on it. It lifted her spirits considerably and ‘like a drowning man clinging to a straw’ held that thought. It was only later that she learnt it was an advertisement
for a beer!
Her husband John, who predeceased her, were both alumni of the University of Peradeniya. Theirs was a campus-romance, which lasted for more than 50 years. They were like minded in their compassion for their fellow- men. On their return home, after retiring respectively as a teacher of TOEFL (teaching of English as a foreign language) and the Civil Service, they founded FONCA (Friends of Needy Children’s Association) to enhance the lives of chidren in all parts of the island. They together with their committee members, travelled far and wide, in their trusty van, visiting Homes, providing their needs and hosting a memorable holiday for the children, once a year.
After 20 long years, when age and ill health, terminated the activities of FONCA, they founded NIM, (Neighbours in Need) in their local church, which organisation they worked for tirelessly. Amongst her last wishes, was that the funds which would have been used for the one-week’s almsgiving, be donated to NIM.
She wrote unrelentingly to the newspapers, whenever she saw a miscarriage of justice or corruption, which subjects she never lacked for material in our dear homeland! A prolific writer she was also shortlisted for the Gratiaen Award for her novel “Coalescing with Omega.”
My eldest daughter Ayesha, who married her youngest son Nalin, returned back home, whilst the older siblings, with their wives Jasmine and Chinta, stayed behind. The pandemic prevented their presence at the funeral, but regular visits and fun trips in happier times kept the family ties intact. The four grandchildren Roshan, Rehana, Schan and Maya, shared an abiding love with their grandparents and the touching poem written by Schan and read at her funeral, conveyed the special bond which existed amongst them.
When I happened to write an eulogy to my mother-in-law, Rita saw it and said “you must write mine as well!” I said “if you promise to write mine, should I go first!” As fate would have it, it fell to my sad lot to do so. May you rest in peace, brave lady and may you be reunited with your beloved ‘Bonnie’ once more!
Priyanthie de Silva
A friend who never really left our hearts
Trehan Fernando
It’s been ten years since he left us, leaving a void that cannot be filled. His voice still resonates in our ears and that infectious smile he always had still feels ever so near. It’s not often a conversation amongst us ends without remembering a moment that involved him.
Treha (as we fondly called him) never really left our hearts. Although short, his life left a deep impression on everyone who knew him. He was a unique person and a man all his own, full of love, compassion, loyalty and faith. It is with pride we remember our friend, as we give thanks and praise to God for his life.
There are countless stories of Treha, of how he touched our lives and hearts from younger days. He was extremely loyal and had this amazing ability to make others feel very special. Once a friend was carrying a painting drawn for the school exhibition. A teacher who saw this painting made a passing comment that it could have been better which really upset Treha who went on to defend the friend and didn’t stop until he convinced the teacher that the painting was the best he had seen.
He was very compassionate towards others and always put their needs ahead of his own. Once during a descent at Adam’s Peak (Siripadaya), one of our friends sprained his leg badly with almost half of the distance left to be completed and was really struggling to walk. Treha offered his shoulder for the rest of the descent and didn’t let go until the last step was taken. He was very particular about taking care of each and everyone around him and constantly kept an eye out for any hazard. Another friend remembers how Treha shouted and stopped him from getting into the water when the sea was rough.
He was a team man to the core and always took the lead in creating opportunities for us to meet and enjoy ourselves. His prime motive was to keep everyone together and happy. He always accepted the successes of others and celebrated them as if they were his own.
Treha had an abiding faith in God and devoted his entire life to be a living testimony for Christ. He was a great son for his parents, a loving husband to his wife, a caring brother to his sisters and a dear friend and pillar of strength to all of us.
Treha you were a true friend in every sense of the word. We cherish our memories together and they will never fade away. Although you parted early, we know we’ll be back together in that promised land. Until that day, may the turf lie gently over you!
Gayan, Geethaka, Ishan, Nishal, Praneeth, Prashan,Rashmika, Roshanka, Santhush, Sudharshana and Sulesh
One comes across such a friend only once in a lifetime
MANGALIKA KARUNARATNE
It is hard to believe that five years have gone by since Mangalika left us so suddenly and inexplicably. Her untimely passing was an enormous shock and an inconceivable loss not only to her beloved family, but to us her friends who were associated closely with her for more than five decades.
My friendship with Mangalika dates back to our days at the Primary school at St. Bridget’s Convent. We remained friends during our carefree childhood years, through adolescence and emerged from our teen years into maturity and adulthood. She is remembered fondly
for her merry and infectious laugh. She would laugh like no other I have known, bent in double with her face turning red and the tears streaming down her cheeks.
Her forthrightness and quick temper were foremost in her nature and we, her close circle of friends were at some point at the receiving end of her sharp words. She was not afraid to speak her mind, but what stood out above all else among her attributes were her intense loyalty to her friends and her deep faith in God. She took a while to make friends but once she made up her mind, you were her friend for life.
She was also a Mathematics whiz and would work her way through complicated geometrical problems unruffled, whilst we who were less endowed in that sense would be literally tearing our hair out in our attempts solve those same problems. She was also very disciplined and God fearing, adhering to the teachings and principles inculcated in us at the convent. One could unhesitatingly say she was as straight as a die.
Mangalika was the first amongst us to get married, her love affair with Gamini which began at the age of 16 years culminating in marriage a few years after leaving school. Gamini and she had three lovely and talented daughters, who all excelled academically and also went on to bring much credit and honour to our alma mater. Mangalika’s aptitude for Mathematics stood in good stead when she painstakingly tutored her daughters herself in preparation for their public examinations. It was solely her encouragement and confidence in their abilities which motivated them to come out with flying colours not only at school but later on as they pursued their respective careers.
She would always be the first to come forward to help out a friend during any difficulty, and would selflessly and steadfastly give her time and support to see one through a crisis. She had the ability to sympathize or empathize, advise or keep silent, encourage or remonstrate, as each situation required. Many of our friends will endorse my sentiments when I say that one comes across such a friend as Mangalika only once in a lifetime, and I was one who was truly blessed to have had her as a trusted and special friend.
Her life revolved around her family. She was a devoted wife, beloved mother and cherished grandmother. Her regular visits to London to be with her children’s families secured the strong bond with her grandchildren, who were inconsolable and uncomprehending at her sudden and untimely death. She took on whatever enterprise she had at hand with determination and pursued them to their completion. Up until the last, she continued to impart her knowledge of Mathematics to pupils who she tutored with her dedicated coaching.
Mangalika was also a very private person hence only a few of us were privy to the doubts, anxieties and fears she experienced relating to a sickness bravely borne and which eventually claimed her life.
I continue to miss her immensely; to say I have lost a dear friend would be sorely inadequate. She was more a sister, a pillar of strength, a trusted confidante and my ‘partner in crime’. I had no reservations about sharing confidences with her in the secure knowledge that she would always respect my trust in her. Her exemplary life ended abruptly and much too soon when she rose up to meet God’s call, leaving some tasks she had at hand unfinished.
I am certain she has found her eternal reward with the Lord. May you Rest In Peace, my dear friend.
Vino
Seeya, yours was a life so full
Group Capt. H.A.D.Ranasinghe
A life so full
A life well lived
A life filled with stories
A life of humble glories
He showed selflessness
In the absence
of humanity
With a heart so full of love
Given to all equally
The best kind of human
The most fulfilled soul
A gem of a person
Loved boundlessly by us all
A man so alive
And full of fire
An air of ageless youth around him
A man to admire
Within us all shall you live
And immortal shall you be
Seeya, a man like you
You are forever a legacy
Ranuli Palipane
‘Thank You’ for all that you meant to us
Doris Vivienne Esther De Silva
Where do we start, how do we begin?
Such a lady to honour a tribute to sing?
A wife, a Mother, to us – a Grandmother, like her, we are sure there will never be another.
Many were the roles she played in her life. As one, she welcomed both happiness and strife.
For her, was the gift of simple faith.
She trusted her Maker right unto her death.
Troubles, she had many, much more than we knew. But, she never was tired or weak, her smile only grew.
She always had time to wipe someone’s tear. To hold a hand or just be near.
She was always a teacher but a student too. From hardships in life valued lessons, she took.
She left an impression in every life she touched. Her life that she lived it, no book taught that much.
Generations passed through her in all walks of life, never ever found a teacher of delight.
To us she will always be ‘our darling grandmother’. She played all our childish games, though silly and funny
Her jokes could never be matched by any. To make us smile, to make us laugh, we think it made her happiest.
To have us sit and talk by her side, made her days the sunniest.
She played the piano and taught us to sing, and, always to God our praises bring. When the home was untidy
We could hear her echoing voice
Telling mama ‘boys will be boys.’
When she knew she would someday be gone… Bring up your children close to God.
Her parting words to the family were stay close and love one another.
Be united as a family and be there for each other.
With great lessons and such love, she filled pages of life.
And promised to keep watch with heaven’s angels.
There is so much of her that now is not there. A person
to teach, to love and life to share. Though quiet she got,
as older
she grew. Seated in her saree quite a command she drew.
Our maids adored her patience, her touch and smile. We miss preparing her wonderful Christmas Cake.
This is a ‘Thank You’ for all that you meant to us. And the grandmother we knew and cherished. For all the enjoyable birthdays and Christmases. For thoughtful gifts and grammar lessons. But most of all the letters that you wrote…
No gift could ever give more or be more ‘precious’ to us.
Ravin, Priyan and
Harin Fernando (Grandsons)