Growing through Struggles Vs Going through Struggles
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Life is purely a war. Not a single day would pass by without you nor me facing a challenge or struggle. Some may struggle in their relationships, others in their jobs, another might struggle to feed their families, youngsters struggle to stay focused, children struggle to eat vegetables or to wake on time to go to school. Life is purely a battlefield and we cannot live without comprehending that truth. If you are in the mindset that life is going to be a” they all lived happily ever after”, then you are deceiving yourself in a deep illusion. The growth of a plant that grows amidst thorny bushes will always be limited due to the obstruction from the surrounding thorny bushes which will suppress the growth of the plant. If the gardener who owns the plant constantly removes the thorny bushes and clear the surrounding and fertilise the soil, then the plant would be able to reach its optimum potential. If not, it would simply undergo the plight and hold back its potential and finally die prematurely.
Ask yourself this question “are you GOING through your problems?” or “are you GROWING through your problems?” If you opt to simply go through the problem then you will ultimately end up empty handed, as it would purely be an agonising journey. Nevertheless, if you decide to grow in your weak areas, then at the conclusion of the problem you will be flawless and well refined to face the next struggle in life. Struggles and victories come in levels. If you do not emerge victorious in the first level of struggle, then you will stagnate in the level of performance entitled for that struggle. The greater the magnitude of the battle, the greater the achievement. A conquering country can win a war against a small country with very little commitment, but for the same country to win against a large and powerful country, it demands a significant commitment. The superior the struggle, the greater the achievement. A youngster who cannot bounce back if his parents deny his request on entertainment will surely struggle if his girlfriend leaves him. His mind has not been trained to overcome a simple rejection thus his mind is unable to overcome deeper rejections. You cannot withstand a fight with Mike Tyson until you have mastered to withstand a fight with a junior boxer. Inside the boxing ring what a junior boxer offers and what Mike Tyson offers are two completely different levels of offerings. If you ought to become a winner in life, it is essential to grow at each and every level during the battle.
We all get tired of life, we may feel physically or emotionally drained to the maximum. If we decide to leave the sword on the ground and give up battling, the enemy will simply behead us. What is important is to pick up the sword and move forward in the battle field until you conquer the enemy. In my life I have faced many occasions where I was really exhausted as my battles were too harsh. I lived a miserable life, I slept inside trains, toilets and outside shopping malls. I did not retain the appropriate training during my childhood to overcome what I faced as a youngster. All I did during the initial battles was going through them rather than growing through them. Had I grown during the period my mom left me when I was very small, I would have faced the battles I came across latterly with a different and courageous approach. After my mom left me, I started looking for love crazily from the outside world, whereas what I should have done was to grow through the battle and face that rejection alone.
The thinking pattern of a person who is determined to go through a problem, and a person who focuses to grow through a problem is miles apart. A person who merely wants to go through the battle, anticipates to see the end of the struggle (when will this end). Instead, the person who intends to grow through the battle always pays attention to the areas that he could improve during the battle. Initially Gold is mixed with soil, it does not look like what you are wearing now. That gold and soil mixture has to go through a rigorous process of purification at many levels of burning to transform into showroom condition. Similarly, life is a process of growth and purification.
People who go through challenging situations, always expect the other party or situation to alter. But the people who grow through difficulties become pressure proof to overcome any situation. It is foolish to expect the surrounding community to transform. A dog will always remain a dog and a donkey will always remain a donkey. If you think that a stray dog in the street should not bark at you because you hail from a respectable family. In that case I am sorry to say that you are not even as wise as that stray dog. If you intend to grow through the struggle, just bow your head down and walk peacefully until the dog understands that you do not mind about its barking. In this manner, you will keep the dog where it belongs and you will remain where you belong. If you react foolishly to the dog, then both you and the dog will remain at the same place.
Not receiving what you require can be the greatest blessing on many occasions. I had an affair with a beautiful Australian girl whilst I lived in Melbourne. The day we broke up, I was extremely sad and heart broken, as I thought that I have lost a blue sapphire and that I will never get a better woman than her. But now, every time I see my wife, it reminds me that what I have actually lost was only a marble and what I have in my possession now is the real blue sapphire. Therefore, transpire from the mind-set of grumbling and murmuring, develop an appreciative mind set, so that you can grow through the situation. If not, you will just go through the situation with no growth at all.
Simply facing a challenging situation will not let you enjoy life at its specific moments, as your mind set is desperately focused on witnessing the end, “Will it come to an end today?” is the thought that rules the mind of a person who wants to go through a situation whereas “What am I going to gain today?” will be the thought governing a person who actually wants to grow through a problem. I have seen some children whose tills are empty right through out from the beginning of the year. Whereas, some bring a hefty till filled to the brim with coins. The child with the empty till chose to invest his earnings to buy toffees, thinking that what he receives is too small. On the other hand, the child whose till is completely full, knew that he could obtain something big if he chose to save every speck he received. Everybody dreams beautiful dreams but they are reluctant to grow and drive towards those dreams.
Which avenue would you select? The avenue of “Growing Through a Problem” or the avenue of “Going Through a Problem”? However, be cautious, remember that your destination is purely based on the avenues that you select to walk on.
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philipnehri@chandanalepa.lk / voice: 0779526496