Arts
“I’m getting married -pandemic or not”
Kavina and Dilshanth had initially scheduled their wedding for January this year, but then considering the COVID situation in the country decided on a June wedding.
Originally from Kandy, but both living and working in Colombo right now, the couple will tie the knot at the Trinity College Chapel in Kandy, and had booked the Oak Room at the Oak-Ray Regency in Peradeniya for their wedding reception.
But with Sri Lanka experiencing the third wave of COVID-19, Kavina says that they have decided to go ahead with the wedding ceremony next month, but will postpone their wedding reception.
The wedding they always wanted: Tharaka and Shanaz with their four-legged guests
“We might be allowed to have only 25-50 people if we have it next month, and we have around 300 guests on our list. Cutting down the guest list to accommodate 25-50 people is saddening and spending a lot of money on a big venue to accommodate so few guests seems pointless. We also decided not to hire a photographer,” Kavina told the Sunday Times Magazine.
Planning a wedding is always quite stressful. For couples hard hit by the pandemic and the resultant restrictions, the uncertainty has been particularly taxing.
“Hopefully the COVID situation will improve in a month or two after our wedding, and we can have a reception for all our friends and family members,” she says but is mindful that they could end up wasting more time or money if they keep delaying their plans.
That uncertainty is being felt not just by the couples but the whole bridal industry as well. Wedding planner and the owner of Purple Weddings (Instagram: purpleweddingplanners, Website: purpleweddings.lk) Denver Dias had two weddings scheduled over the next two weeks. “Now with the recent ban on weddings, one has been postponed indefinitely, while the other may be held in June or July,” Denver said.
Since March last year, wedding planners like Denver have been adjusting to the new normal- working with the PHIs who visit venues beforehand to make sure social distancing protocol is followed and masks are worn by wedding guests and vendors. Denver says it is also up to the wedding planners to monitor if face masks are worn, that hand sanitiser is available at the venue and social distancing is adhered to during the wedding
“Hotels and other venues are also accommodating the new COVID restrictions. Many hotels are adjusting the seating and holding capacity in their wedding and banquet halls and making sure that everyone follows COVID regulations accordingly,” he said.
Leave alone the emotional stress, financially too couples are hard hit. Those who had planned their weddings in Colombo, lost a lot of money because of non-refundable deposits paid to hotels and venues, as they had to cancel, postpone or reschedule for another day and another venue.
One couple that I worked with lost around Rs. 80,000 – Rs. 100,000 because they had to postpone and reschedule their wedding twice, and the hotels they booked refused to refund their advance payments, Denver said.
But he says many have adjusted to the new normal.
“I have noticed that many couples prefer to get married as soon as possible now, even with a small number of guests, instead of rescheduling their wedding,” Denver said.
Two brides who had pandemic weddings Amaani Lenore and Shanaz Fouze shared their experiences of getting through the uncertainty and delays.
“The original date for our wedding was June 2020 and we had to postpone it to December 1, 2020. We thought it would be perfect since it was my parents’ anniversary as well but we had to postpone the wedding again to December 30 because the airports closed again in October and Sherard’s flight from the US got cancelled. It was pretty tough deciding on a date because everything seemed so unpredictable,” said Amaani, a coding and robotics instructor, whose husband Sherard is an engineer at an engineering and architecture firm in the United States.
They had initially planned a destination wedding but changed their minds after they realised it would not be practical with the changing COVID-19 situation. A wedding enthusiast, Amaani had planned the wedding ceremony right down to the little details, including the decor, colour scheme, theme and vendors, with help only from Sherard and family.
“We were in two different continents and time zones. When I woke up it would be time for Sherard to go to bed, so we had to make time to get through the wedding planning. If not for the support from our families it would have been extremely difficult,” Amaani said.
“Many family members and friends overseas could not make it, and that was something we were sad about initially, but having them join via live-stream was comforting on the day. We had our closest family and friends and invited everyone else to join via live stream.”
“It all worked out in the end and we still can’t believe how smoothly and beautifully everything turned out. We thank God for His grace in the whole process,” she added.
“My advice to newly engaged couples is to create a realistic budget as well. Most of us set a budget without thinking of every little detail. It’s your day and at the end of it you should be able to find joy in knowing it was a representation of who you are as a couple,” she said.
Owner and founder of the Tayo Bear cafe in Colombo 7, Shanaz Fouze and her husband Tharaka Uduwara who works for a gem and jewellery company in Colombo married on December 4, 2020 – the scheduled date. However, they had to postpone their reception and homecoming three times, and are still deciding if they should go ahead with their wedding reception.
Amaani and Sherard: Saying ‘I do’ amidst their closest family members and friends
“The wedding ceremony was initially organised for 60 people but we had the function for 13 people including our three dogs and cat. This was the wedding I always wanted and Tharaka was supportive,” Shanaz said.
In line with the health regulations, they restricted their guest list and enjoyed their big day with only their close family members and friends.
“Our biggest concern was the safety of our parents. It was only our close family and friends who were able to attend the ceremony. The wedding took place smoothly as no issues or challenges were posed, until it began raining. But we did enjoy the rain too, and so did our dogs,” Shanaz laughs.
“We saved money by deciding to have a smaller wedding, with a restricted guest list,” she added.
Shanaz said her close friends and family helped immensely to plan the wedding, and they did not worry or stress as everyone completed their allocated tasks on time. Their vendors too, from those involved with the venue to those handling the flowers, accommodated all their requests and changes, skilfully.
Shanaz advises couples to restrict their guests to only those they are extremely close to, due to the COVID-19 restrictions.
“You should be enjoying your special day with people who help nourish your relationship. Many of us are aware about negative remarks some people make at weddings. It’s always better to have a wedding free of negativity. More importantly, we are safe when we follow the health guidelines. It may not seem like you need to sacrifice your guest list due to the pandemic, but you will only put everyone at your wedding at risk, including yourself and your spouse, if you do not follow the guidelines,” she said.