5th Column

My dear Basil maamey,

How can I not write to you this week, maamey? So many are excited about your return to Parliament and the Cabinet. Some make it sound as if your ‘second coming’ was the most anticipated arrival after Vijaya’s arrival to meet Kuveni and Arahat Mahinda’s arrival to meet Devanampiyatissa at Mihintale!

It is no small achievement indeed. When Mahinda maama was defeated six and half years ago, you first fled to America, but then returned, faced charges and were arrested. Some of those matters are still pending in court – and we now know for sure that justice will be done in these cases, don’t we?

To give credit where it is due, when Cheerio Sirisena hijacked the Blue Party after he unexpectedly defeated Mahinda maama, many people thought Mahinda maama’s political career was over. I suspect he himself thought so – until you came along and floated this idea of a new political party.

With Cheerio Sirisena in charge and the Blues and the Greens working together, many thought you were day dreaming. You however founded the ‘pohottuwa’ party, brought Gota maama to the forefront because Mahinda maama couldn’t run for office again – and look where we are today!

Few people remember that you were once a member of the Green Party. That was after contesting the ’77 election from the Blue Party and losing in Mulkirigala. Being the political animal that you are, and with Mahinda maama also losing at Beliatta, you joined forces with Gamini of Mahaweli fame.

You did return to the Blue camp to assist Mahinda maama and stayed with him until he rose to the very top. That was when you entered Parliament for the first time through the National List. However, it was after the war victory, and your return to Parliament from Gampaha that you made your mark.

As Minister of Economic Development, you were in charge of every important project in the country. Not everyone liked that though. Even Wimal from your own camp blamed you for Mahinda maama’s defeat. Some even called you ‘Mr Ten Per Cent’ – I’m still trying to figure out what that meant.

It was you who was instrumental in engineering cross-overs from the Green Party to make up a two-thirds majority when Mahinda maama brought the 18th Amendment that allowed him to run for a third term. That was what led to his undoing – forcing you to pack your bags and leave Paradise in a hurry!

This time, you are back with a bang. You have been given the prestigious Finance Ministry which was with Mahinda maama all this time. Although some said that he didn’t want to part with it, I’m sure you must have agreed on this around the family dinner table. Blood, after all, is thicker than water.

That is certainly evident in this Cabinet. You have taken family rule to new heights. We remember Ms B being taken to task for having relatives Felix and Hector in her Cabinet, and Siva and Lakshman as deputy ministers – and yet, you have five members of the same family in a Cabinet of 28!

With you as Finance Minister, we will have an American citizen’s signature on our bank notes. We have already had a Singaporean citizen’s signature on our notes. He loved it so much, he tried to take it all with him. We are still looking for him. I hope that won’t happen with you!

Basil maamey, you must know that the people expect great solutions from you. Judging by the way in which some people in the ‘pohottuwa’ party were behaving in the past few weeks, you are the saviour we have been waiting for. Now that you have arrived, you should be able to fix all our problems.

Why, we had that Lanza chap telling us that, had you been around, we wouldn’t need to increase the price of fuel. Well, now that you are here, I am sure you will attend to that, as well as a host of other problems that Gota maama has found it difficult to tackle, what with this pandemic still going on.

We have a country where a military man is the chief advisor regarding health matters and issues related to sports. This is also a country where a medical doctor is advising us on fertiliser. So, I am sure there is a chance for you to work miracles – maybe you could even resurrect our cricket team!

With you finally in Parliament, we feel so secure when we realise that all of you are working to a carefully laid out plan, that plan being to ensure that it is an ‘R’ and no one else who will be in charge for the next few decades. You are now there to keep the seat warm until Namal baby comes of age.

Basil maamey, we hope you will always be around- without taking wing to your ‘other’ motherland, America, whenever the going gets tough, only to return when you are on the winning side. Now that our saviour has arrived, we expect a hundred per cent commitment from you – not just ten percent!

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha

PS: Whenever our politicians speak, they conclude saying ‘theruvan saranai’ but only now is its meaning becoming clear. That is because everyone else in government, officials included, are now saying ‘Gota saranang gachchami, Mahinda saranang gachchami, Basil saranang gachchami’!