Imitation Thinking & Incinerated Joy
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Rearranging and cleaning the entire house before the brink of a new year has become a common practice amongst every housewife in Sri Lanka, regardless of their financial capability of celebrating the upcoming year. Furthermore, wearing a new attire on the first day of the year has become a tradition amongst every Sri Lankan.
I do not see any wrongdoing in acquiring a new appearance in the physical realm, yet it will not assist a person’s personal life in terms of his personal growth if it is not interconnected with strong decisions taken in the mental realm.
Just think together with me. How many years have we worn new clothes and kick-started the new year with great diligence, yet concluded it with no growth or elevation at the closure of the year.
There is no point of packing an expired product in a newly printed box. Possessing a refrigerator that is super shiny externally is of no use if all you have stored inside are stale and outdated products. Having a large and beautiful TV will not bring happiness to you or your children if it is broken and cannot display anything.
We have been making decisions for generations, simply to please the external environment during our hunger towards attaining the acceptance of other people. Yet, we are not aware that we are not satisfied with ourselves though we insanely see the acceptance of others. It is indeed sad but I must tell you, many people wallow themselves in this illusion for years and years.
All the cleaning, the new clothes and a superior meal on the table on the first day of the year, will all go down the drain if you are still the same old person who bears defeating notions, a condemned heart, demotivated thoughts, lethargy in implementation, narrow minded thinking and bitter thoughts.
Your food will never taste good by using contaminated coconut oil repacked in a new glass bottle. Sometime back I had a friend who rarely has a bath, yet he smells good because of the fragrance he uses to overcome the bad odour.
Recently, I saw him in a disastrous state in life, with no job and no house to live in, basically he is left with nothing. It is high time that we as fellow citizens change this fake thinking pattern and open our eyes towards the reality, unless many of us will fall into the depths of misery, just as my friend.
Your fake thinking is bound to incinerate your happiness. We spend a lot of time and money to rearrange our houses and buy new clothes, likewise we must make it an absolutely important point to invest many folds of energy in rearranging our inner selves which is innumerably more important than the external appearance.
Why not rearrange your thought patterns just as you would rearrange your drawers with your old books. When you clean your house for the new year don’t you put away everything that is unnecessary?
Then why not consider eliminating all the unproductive thoughts, bitterness, jealousy and hatred out of your system, if not they would certainly ingest into your dreams just as termites and bookworms do to wood and paper. Unless you get rid of your old and damaged water filter you will never be able to have purified water, likewise you will never be able to walk in joy if you do not purify your heart, whatever the feeling you get, they will always be covered in anger, bitterness and hatred.
I know very well that what I’m saying is much easier said than done. Unless you start at some point by challenging your depriving thoughts, you will never be able to overcome them.
Once I had a great bitterness towards a man, due to how he had spoken to my father. One day I almost hit him, but somehow it was prevented. Being a person who is looked upon by the world as a role model, it made me feel utterly embarrassed after I attempted to hit him. Every time I see him, he turns away with an angry face. One day I made a very strong decision to say good morning to him.
From the moment that I took that decision to be humble before him, my ego and pride began to cover me up with shame. Yet, I was so determined to let go of my ego and humble myself before him. I walked up to him and said good morning, he turned his face away from me as if turning down his nose at a piece of rotten dry fish. From that very moment I felt an unexplainable freedom and comfort from within myself.
It is the same feeling I got when I paid all my credit card overdues and cancelled them long time back.
Ego is like a heavy stone that is tied to your back whilst you are trying to climb a mountain.
Climbing the mountain becomes more comfortable the moment you lay the stone down. Therefore, learn to accept yourself for who you are rather than trying to seek acceptance from others, it will only destroy the energy you possess. It is as though you borrow money from others to buy gifts for your neighbours. Do not seek happiness from others’ acceptance, at the cost of your own happiness.
There was a time that my entire effort was to seek the acceptance of others. Later, I realised that I have been trying to do it at the cost of my family’s happiness. Loving others without any expectation in return is a completely different feeling than craving for acceptance from others.
Something many of us attempt to do is to celebrate the entrance of something with an abundance of fireworks. Hosting an expensive product launch at a five star hotel would be an utter waste if you do not have a strategic plan linked to the launch.
Furthermore, we must get over this firecracker mentality of focusing only on the launch instead of focusing on the strategies to achieve the goal. We as a generation should clearly get over this drunkard man mentality, where the person is extremely happy over alcohol but utterly miserable without it.
There is nothing wrong in lighting firecrackers as long as we understand that the real game starts from the next day onwards. All of us must be realistic in understanding that the launch is not the game in the big picture.
The launch is merely an event, the game is the challenge. Our five senses and our mind will always welcome such happenings but they will not welcome fiery challenges.
Therefore, train your mind to become a fighter. Going after events will not mould your mind to become a fighter, they will only blunt your capability of fighting. In life every day is a battle.
Even the happiest day in life is a battle, you must battle with the extremely blissful feelings in order to make sure that you do not deviate from the original purpose of life.
There were times that I messed up big time during the happiest days in my life.
Just as troubles and worries make you sit at one place so could happiness also blow you away from focusing on your goals.
Many people have destroyed themselves at the helm of their life. They have been well focused and headstrong during their challenging days but they have been utter failures in handling success.
That is why we should place great focus on handling both success and failure.
The more your thoughts become pretense and imitating, the more you fail to reap success and happiness.
Therefore, be determined to move forward with sheer focus by being attentive of what you feed your mind this new year. If you do not focus on your priorities then 2022 is going to be challenging for you.
If you cannot handle a credit card get over that trap this 2022. If you cannot afford to buy gifts and new clothes to wear for the wedding that you were invited to, then do not attend those weddings or attend with what you have.
We do not attend every wedding that we are invited to, as I believe that I need to be focused on my expenses. You must understand what is important to you and your family rather than craving to obtain acceptance from others.
For comments: voice – 0779526496 / e-mail – philipnehri@chandanalepa.lk
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