5th Column

My dear Gota maamey,

I thought I must write to you when I saw you the other day, cutting quite a dashing figure in suit and tie despite your advancing years, arriving for the ceremonial opening of Parliament. The other reason I wanted to write was because nothing seems to be right and everyone is blaming everything on you.

Seeing you in Parliament in that suit and tie, I suddenly realised that, of all our male Presidents over the past 50 years, you are the only one to prefer western attire. The others all wore the ‘national’. Yet you came into power claiming to protect everything that was part of our culture and heritage!

You had to address that ceremonial opening only because you prorogued Parliament late last year. Many people wondered why you did that. That was a trick of the trade, wasn’t it? What you wanted was to get rid of the committee chairmen – from your own side – who were digging up dirt, wasn’t it?

Listening to you the other day, Gota maamey, you told us that your best laid plans didn’t work out because of the coronavirus pandemic and that you ‘lost’ two years of your term of office because of that. It is hard to disagree, but you also said something else about that which raised many eyebrows.

You told us a young man from Kandy suggested to you that, because you ‘lost’ two years due to the pandemic, you should hold a referendum and rule for two extra years. Now, lady Diana says so too. With a cheeky smile and a twinkle in your eye you said this young man should be made your advisor.

Now, Gota maamey, given the quality of some of your advisors, you might as well go ahead and make this chap an advisor, but I hope you won’t proceed with the plan of asking for two more years through a referendum. Let’s be honest, if that referendum is held now, we all know how it will end!

Don’t get me wrong, Gota maamey, we know that you could have done much better if there was no pandemic. That is because even the pandemic was not managed that well because those who were in uniform were taking decisions about how to deal with the crisis though they were not health experts.

Eventually though, you seemed to have got it right with the vaccination programme. That has made the country as safe as it can be at a time when nations with more resources at their disposal are still struggling to come to terms with the pandemic and trying to restore normalcy in their countries.

However, what many are asking, Gota maamey, is whether you can blame everything on the pandemic? For example, we have this previously unheard of crisis about gas cylinders exploding suddenly. Pardon me, but can you explain how that is linked to the coronavirus pandemic?

Worse still, you appointed a committee to inquire into these explosions and they said it was the composition of the cylinders that led to the explosions. Then, we heard the chairman of the company was removed by Basil maama only for you to visit his factory the next day and reinstate him.

I hope you can appreciate why people are confused, Gota maamey. Firstly, they are asking why you appointed a committee if you were inclined to ignore their findings when even Basil maama appeared to have accepted them? Secondly, surely, this does not have anything to do with the pandemic?

Then, addressing Parliament the other day, you said you were sticking with your ‘green’ agriculture policy, no matter what. Of course you mean well, but everyone blames you for the way it was enforced, almost overnight. In Parliament, however, you blamed it all on your officials.

You may have realised by now, Gota maamey, that being in your job, you can hardly blame officials because you can hire and fire them at will. You did so with the Agriculture Secretary, but many feel he was only trying to help you. Then again, how does all this relate to the pandemic anyway?

With no safe gas for cooking, and no fertiliser, we find out now that there is no electricity – though Lokuge tells us daily that there won’t be power cuts. This may be related to the pandemic because we have been left with no dollars to buy the oil that produces electricity, but that too didn’t happen overnight, did it?

You said in Parliament that you plan to use the next three years you have left to usher in the ‘vistas of prosperity and splendour’ you promised two years ago. I hope you can, Gota maamey, because, if you continue in this way, you won’t be able to blame everything on the coronavirus, three years from now!

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha

PS: Remember His Eminence, Gota maamey? What he said and did after the Easter Sunday attacks two years ago helped you win that big election. Now he is casting doubts about those attacks and I don’t think you can count on his words to win your next election, can you?