Changing Gears in Front of Emotions
View(s):Last Friday I met with a critical accident at the Kalagedihena junction, my beautiful vehicle was greatly damaged. The moment I saw the plight of the accident that took place and the extent of the damage, as a human being I lost my temper. The driver of the other vehicle that collided with mine had fallen asleep and he ended up smashing my vehicle. The moment I got off the vehicle I shouted at him, he humbly apologised and said that he fell asleep for a moment and that is when the accident took place. When someone accepts their mistake, admits his wrongdoing and asks for pardon, I think we should always treat them with love, regardless of the damage that we incurred.
We all have done wrong to someone or the other at some stage of our lives. The moment I decided to forgive him, my attitude towards the problem and the damage transformed swiftly towards a different level. Similar to how a shower could be turned from hot water into cold water. The decision I took to let go of myself and priorities the feelings of a man who is horrified and struggling, I became really calm and changed the gears of the approach I took towards the problem. I started talking to him with love instead of hate. Love and hate will always be the outcome of the decisions we make, the outcome varies depending whether we prioritize ourselves or others.
Selfishness is yet another heavy load, the more you rest it down, the more it makes life softer. Therefore, I told him to be happy that both of us are alive and not injured. I also told him not to be content with the fact that we are safe but to make a strong decision in the future. I asked him what would have happened if he had hit a small car, that a beautiful little girl was travelling to Montessori. I asked him to imagine what would have happened to that car and the little girl if he had crashed into it in the same way that he crashed into my jeep.
It is certain that if he had hit a smaller car, the lives of the people in the car would have definitely been at risk. I asked him what would have happened if the little girl died due to the accident. Finally, I made him realise that even the minor decisions we take may result in irrevocable damages to a person’s life. So, I told him the next time he feels sleepy, why not stop the vehicle and sleep for a few hours and then start off on the journey again. His act actually pawned another innocent life at the cost of a few hours of his time.
I am trying to grasp your attention towards the number of similar decisions that you have made in your life. The decisions that have created irrevocable situations that have made your life miserable. Is it not better to walk on both your feet until the end of your life rather than limping on one foot just because you pawned your leg in order to feed your craving of sweets such as chocolates that has ultimately led towards diabetics? There are utterly stupid decisions that I have made in my life that has led me into disastrous situations that cannot be reversed.
Do you realise that a few hours of quality time with your children is more important than investing that precious time on browsing the internet and Facebook? The information you gather from the internet nor the mouthwatering gossip on the gossip sites will ever be able to bring back your children to you if they ever lose the meaning of life due to your failure in escorting them through investing quality time with them. Out of the many prisoners who are sentenced to death or imprisoned for life, there are many people who have come from broken families, where their parents have not been able to guide them towards the rich values in life.
Most of the transactions we undertake in life are simply unprofitable ones. Many people have lost their wedding rings by pawning them at times of very simple challenges in life. Instead of managing and planning ahead, pawning jewellery effectively has become the first hand option of many. These quick comforting decisions have bestowed them long term pain in life. Out of the many people who pawn their jewellery, many fail to redeem them thus they suffer immensely when they have to wear imitation jewellery when they attend an occasion.
As I have mentioned in many of my articles, we must prioritise and value things which are meant to bring us long term happiness above the temporary and short term gratifications. Yesterday, I had an argument with my father, where all my accusations towards him were unfair and unjust. I could not sleep that night as a fearful thought kept roaming through my mind saying “what would happen if he died that very night”. I would have to live with that miserable condemnation for the rest of my life.
I called him early the next morning to apologise, but I was unable to get through to him. However, I spoke to him today and now I am in complete harmony. Sometimes, I feel really embarrassed of myself. At certain occasions I am not the person the world thinks I am. The world thinks that I am a giant and that I am perfect, which is not at all accurate. Sometimes I tend to do things which are awfully shameful and embarrassing. If you and I are to succeed in life we need to accept our faults and weaknesses honestly, even though it may be in front of a large number of people. More importantly we must take a decision to correct ourselves.
I am certainly not perfect at all, yet I thrive towards it day in and day out. I am determined to complete this life race on a victorious note. Similarly, are you also determined to complete your journey with a legacy? I am sharing all this with my readers so that all of you will be able to understand the reality of life and train your children to live a grateful and faithful life. I do not want to see the next generation making the blunders that I made in my life.
A close friend of mine once scolded his father insanely and his father passed away the very night. Due to the incident, up until today my friend lives in pain and condemnation. The thoughts of condemnation are sure to kill him every moment it reminds him of his father. He cannot revert what has already happened. That is the very reason why I was so afraid the night after the disturbing argument I had with my father, who is apparently a genuine and responsible father. Therefore, I urge my readers to train your mind to respond wisely rather than reacting blindly towards day to day feelings and emotions.
On one occasion, while I was at a teller machine in Pannipitiya to withdraw money, it took me a few minutes longer than usual for the transaction as I had to attempt a few times. A young man who was in the queue after me could not bear my delay, he shouted at me in filth. I had two options laid before me, the first and the easiest was to feed my ego and smash him on his face, which I was really good at, as I was once an aggressive street fighter. The other option was to tame my ego and attain peace. I chose the latter. There will always be two options of transactions before you whenever you attempt to make any kind of decision in life, may it be big or small.
The ultimate gain will be either peace or war based on ego and the options that you opt to choose at the points that you make a decision. The more you tame your ego, the more you prepare the ground for peace.
For comments:
philipnehri@chandanalepa.lk / voice – 0779 526 496
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