The Singaporean trainer Bernard McKenzie had an elder brother whom he looked upon as a role model in his life since childhood. Bernard used to follow his elder brother’s footsteps in everything he did, they had a very intimate relationship until one day they had a severe argument on a transaction of fifteen US Dollars. Bernard thought that he was cheated by his elder brother, so he decided that he would never speak to him again. This egoistic decision he made destroyed the happiness of the family.

Even though their mother tried to patch up the relationship by explaining how precious brotherhood is more than the fifteen dollars, he was so firm in his decision that he did not speak to his brother for many years. The ego Bernard possessed was so detrimental that it made him blind to the value of the brotherly relationship over fifteen US dollars. Later, he admitted that he spends a similar amount on parking on some days. One gloomy day Bernard received a call from his mom, she sounded very shaky, she told Bernard that his brother died in an accident. He denied the news saying that it cannot be his brother. However, at the mortuary he identified that it was his brother who was lying dead on the steel trolley. Bernard cried so intensely as he could not bear the pain.

He went on to say that he has been living in painful regrets from that day onwards, he regrets how good it would have been if he had the opportunity to say sorry to his brother and tell him how much he meant to him. Since his pain was so intense, he wrote a few lines of forgiveness and appreciation to his brother with the thought that his brother’s soul would hear it every moment he repeated the lines.

He went on to mention that an ugly three letter word known as “Ego”, destroyed a beautiful twelve letter word known as “Relationship”. I have experienced how ego stole my happiness big time. Ego has not gifted me anything apart from stealing away the precious time I could have lived in utter peace and happiness. I learnt that it was an unprofitable transaction to sell “Joy” for “Ego”, it is something only a fool would do.

I came to realise that I was a fool who pawned my happiness – the most precious thing a human being yearns for. I pawned it for something useless known as ‘ego’, which is completely worthless. From that day onwards, I began fighting my ego every time it approached me and attempted to captivate my mind and enslave me. I did not acquire victory overnight, yet the continuous fights over it and the spirit of never giving up trained me to master over my ego, which mastered over me in the past.

Every time I hurt my angel’s heart, I make it a point to kiss my wife on her forehead and ask for forgiveness for my words. Similarly, if I feel that I have been unreasonably harsh on my children I take them to my bosom and ask for forgiveness from them. Furthermore, on such occasions I make it a point to love them more and treat them better than I have done before. We all need to come into the realization that tomorrow is never guaranteed. You hardly receive the privilege of saying bye before you die, you must understand that all you possess is only today. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is yet to come. You never know if the person you hurt so badly would wake up the next morning.

If he or she does not wake up the next day, you will live in great regret for the rest of your life just like Bernard Mackenzie. Once, I had an argument with a man who resided in front of my father’s house as he was unreasonable towards my father. The following day I took courage to master over my ego so I went up to him and asked forgiveness which he was reluctant to extend. Yet, I decided to smile and walk away. I went back home and enjoyed the awesome meal my wife had cooked. I was free as my mind had obtained freedom over the act. Had I been trapped in my ego, every time I saw him, I would have missed all the other beautiful moments in my life which is there at that time for me to enjoy.

A lady known to me received a call from her husband who was suffering from an illness at that moment of time. As she was busy at that moment, she ignored his call with a dismissive tone saying, “I’ll call you back, I’ll call you back”. After a few minutes she received another call saying that her husband had passed away. Up until today she says she could have answered the call and spoken to him compassionately whilst he was on his deathbed. Similar to the products you buy from the supermarket shelves, opportunities also come with an expiry date. Therefore, you cannot afford to lose those opportunities due to your ego or fear of rejection.

If you fail to live up to your fullest potential today, it will compile as a regretful yesterday when you step into a new day tomorrow. A regretful yesterday manufactures a fearful tomorrow. Being surrounded by the fears of tomorrow may lead you to a dangerous condition called ‘anxiety’. Time and time again the world talks of many mantras such as “stay calm and carry on”, “carpe diem” (seize the day) and “Yolo” (You Live Only Once), yet these mantras are just limited to being printed on coffee mugs or sign boards on your table. The issue in today’s world is that they are completely aware of what needs to be done, yet they lack the boldness to make a decision and commit themselves towards living in those beautifully crafted words.

Even though we know that postponing is a venom, we keep repeating it on a daily basis. We are certainly aware that isolation is a cave which gives you a meaningful life, we often lose track in life because of the fear of being rejected. You and I have no other choice than facing each and every moment in life by utilizing our fullest potential rather than running away from them, which actually throws us out of the playground of life. When you come out of the playground because the fear of losing, you become just a spectator who will not be rewarded, as only the players are rewarded not the spectators. Though an exam will be hard you will never obtain the degree If you choose not to sit for the examination, then.

Ego is simply a joy killer. You certainly cannot expect a life free of conflicts, they are a part of the game. You can surely move forward with a free mind if you choose to erase them using an eraser known as ‘forgiveness’. The one and only thing that prevents us from requesting forgiveness is nothing but our own ego, which is a hero that makes you feel good for a few hours yet destroys your life considerably. There are days I have even asked for forgiveness from our dog Brundo for not playing with him as I usually do. Ego, prisons you in a camp of I, Me and Myself where it is all about myself only.

We all have ego within us on different levels, but if you do not choose to tame it, then your ego will turn out to become your master. Once ego becomes your master, it only seeks to feed it at the cost of anything. The moment you choose not to brush your teeth using the golden tooth brush, you are doing it assuming that the golden toothbrush would get damaged. What would happen is that you will have the golden toothbrush but you will lose your teeth..

You are in this world to live life and not to just run away from it. You must thrive to enjoy every moment of your life to its maximum. Many couples simply divorce because their ego prevents them from seeking forgiveness from the other. I have seen many people who hail from wealthy families, yet they live every moment of their life in misery as a result of their ego. Seek forgiveness and forgive whenever someone asks for forgiveness, it will take away a bundle of pressure from your mind and vacate room for joy. There is no one in this world who has never made any mistake.

Will you ever throw away your child’s white uniform just because he came home with stains on them? I am certain that you would wash away the stains from the clothes and it will surely look brighter once it is washed properly. Likewise, do not allow hurtful feelings to compile within you, they will turn out to become a stronghold of bitterness.

 

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