Plastic Card Happiness Vs. Debt Stuffed Coffins
View(s):Many years ago, I owned a credit card, but due to my mismanagement, I could not pay back the amount I owed to the bank. Therefore, one day I got a call from the bank and they spoke to me as though I was a thief who robbed the bank. The staff member who called me said “you can use the card but you can’t pay back”. He was right, his words made me feel like a useless beggar who had both the legs and arms yet was begging on the street living on others’ money.
I also realised that planning my life based on someone else’s money is like preparing for war depending on your neighbouring country’s armory. I felt so bad that I sat on the very chair I was seated on when I received the call from the bank and was burning with the need to free myself from this artificial life that was based on plastic cards. I realised I was no different to a slave who was toiling in order to fulfill the slavery in return for the food and material he was sold for. I decided that I would somehow get rid of the outstanding amount and become independent. The moment I paid off everything in full, I shredded the credit card using a scissor. It was a great relief, I did it with sheer determination that I will never use a credit card again in my entire life and that I would live on my own money which is definitely over and above using borrowed money. Since that day, many many years ago I have never used a credit card. I have been able to focus well, plan and manage my day to day life with what I possess.
Problems in life arise mainly as a result of our blindness towards who we are. If you have identified who you are it is quite simple to lay out the strategies your life requires. In drawing up your strategies you must make sure that they are based on the input and output of the armoury that is yours. We have been led to this situation today as a country because of our blindness to four fundamental questions, namely, who we are, what we have, what we want and when we want them. Once you have evaluated what you have, it is easy to make note of what you need at that specific moment in life.
If you want to have a sound sleep at night, try to live a life free of temporary plasters, as they will simply take your happiness away from you. Temporary plasters put on our issues are like painkillers which hide the true cause and the necessary treatment that is required to overcome the sickness. These plasters actually camouflage the reality with extremely harmful yet temporary satisfying pain killers. Plastic credit cards are not your money and tempt you to make decisions based on unseen money that does not belong to you at that moment of time.
If you are required to go through a surgery, you do not have an option other than going through it regardless of how painful the surgery is, because if not you might die soon due to the camouflaged solutions you have taken. You might feel good for a short period of time due to temporary plastering but you are assured to die in the long run. The simplest definition of a need and want is that, a need is something that is necessary to live and function whereas a want is something that can improve your quality of life.
Another major contributor towards most of our problems is that we define our level of improvement based on comparison to the quality of life of others. Whereas it should actually be based on our own existing quality of life. When I started the second chapter in my life, my friends from St. Joseph’s were driving Mercedes Benz, yet, I never wanted to buy one, as my quality of life at that moment was to be able to travel by bus. The improvement of the quality of life should be being able to drive a small Maruti from going by bus. Had I defined the improvement of the quality of life based on what my friends drove that time I would have pushed myself into a deep pit of misery.
What actually forces people to make such disastrous decisions is known as “ego” which constantly pushes us towards presenting ourselves to be better than others and feel good about it. It is absolutely a venomous and foolish thought, we do not mind at all to see Elon Musk living a lavish life but we get extremely irritated to see our neighbour live lavishly. It is so deceptive, isn’t it? To be highlighted in your own circle is a common desire but it can be venomous if we do not handle it wisely. Such egoistic thoughts should never be encouraged or fed for growth. We all have ego on different levels, what is vital is that we breathe in with the consciousness that even though ego exists within us, we obtain mastership over it without allowing it to take mastership over us.
Another reason that makes people live on someone else’s money is their definition of happiness, it is often either vague or ill defined. Whenever I ask someone what they want to acquire in life, their answer is always either a house, a car or some other materialistic asset that they believe is their outward expression of success. Indeed, these are needed but If you do not have what it takes to have the pleasure of happiness then it is of no use even though you may have all the money in the world. I have seen a countless number of rich people who have everything and nothing at the same time. Did you know that you can have everything and nothing at the same time? One of my friend’s father, who is a businessman whose business is operated both in Sri Lanka and abroad, once told me that he has everything except happiness.
That was exactly where my friend’s father stood. That is what I meant by having everything and nothing at the same time. It would be of no use to own a Lamborghini if you do not have a valid license to drive it. You are not what is visible outwardly but you are what you possess within yourself. When I was young, I used to borrow clothes and shoes from my friends whenever I had to take part in an event. The moment I took off my clothes and shoes at the end of the event I always felt so empty as none of them belonged to me. If it does not make you feel upset the moment you realise that what you are using does not belong to you, you definitely need to revisit your pattern of thinking.
Though you do not give your car to your five (5) year old as you know that he cannot handle it, you keep on borrowing and planning your life based on plastic cards which are far beyond your handling. Of course, there are smart people who handle their credit cards wisely. If you cannot handle Aishwarya Rai, do not attempt to marry her. The simplest yet most profound advice that I can give you is “do not take it if you cannot handle it”. This piece of advice does not apply only for your credit cards but it also applies for every decision you make in life including marriage. A pretense life will get what you want temporarily but you will never be able to sustain it. I know of a young man who persuaded a beautiful girl to marry him by manipulating, maneuvering and pretending. Yet, their relationship ended even before their honeymoon.
Pretending has a very short shelf life whereas the reality lasts a lifetime. A fake Rolex that I bought from China lasted only a few months, but I am certain that the original holds a lifetime guarantee. The outcome of original and fake thinking is exactly the same as an original product and a fake product. If you plan your happiness based on the unseen money that a plastic card holds, you are not different from an unwise man who goes to a wedding wearing the branded clothes that he borrowed from someone else. Every time I manipulated someone with a fake personality, I thought I was smart and cheated the smart people. The day I began to beg in front of the William Grinding Mills bus stop, I understood that it was I who had cheated myself and no one else as all of them were already living very good lives whilst begging in the streets.
If you spend your money and dreams more carefully then you will surely be able to live a joyful life with your proprietorship and not with some else’s possessions. The dhal which we purchased for approximately Rs. 100 has skyrocketed to Rs. 500. Just imagine what would happen if you try to buy that also out of the borrowed money you possess. Just as our beloved motherland, you will eventually reach a point where your debt is unsustainable. This is the time that you must think not just twice but at least four times about your decisions. Only the wisest will survive this burning socio-economic condition.
For comments:
philipnehri@chandanalepa.lk /
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