5th Column

My Dear GL and the Gang of 13,

I thought of writing to you after hearing that you had ‘crossed over’ to the Opposition a few days ago, distancing yourselves from the ‘pohottuwa’ party from which you contested the last election, and from which you were elected to Parliament. Honestly, I am not sure what to make of such antics anymore.

You must excuse us ordinary citizens for being confused. Who wouldn’t be, when the big boss was being chosen by Parliament after Gota maama’s resignation, the ruling party put forward the Opposition’s Uncle Ranil and the Opposition put forward the ruling party’s Dullas as candidates?

In recent months we have been astounded by the number of people who have suddenly discovered that they were in the wrong camp and decided to jump to another party. It all began almost six months ago when Wimal, Vasu and Gammanpila criticised Basil and were shown the door by Gota maama.

Looking back, one could say that signalled the beginning of the end for Gota maama. However, we can hardly believe what we are hearing now. Wimal has started shouting in Parliament, supporting Uncle Ranil’s decision to declare a state of emergency to crackdown on those in the ‘aragalaya’!

Then of course we had Harin and Manusha jumping from the ‘telephone’ party, first to Gota maama’s Cabinet and staying on with Uncle Ranil now. Manusha is used to this, switching sides whenever there is something to be gained from it, but Harin’s change of loyalties came as quite a shock.

This was the same Harin who told us that he would wear a black ‘saatakaya’ until Ranjan was freed and that he would forego his National List seat for Ranjan to return to Parliament. Well, none of that has happened, so I guess we shouldn’t be surprised if he crosses over to the ‘pohottuwa’ party now!

Even in the Blue party, Aiyo Sirisena is trying desperately to keep everyone together because he thinks he can become the big boss again. However, he couldn’t prevent Nimal and Mahinda crossing over just so they could remain ministers – and all that despite the allegations made against Nimal too.

Then there are those like Susil who, after venting their anger against Gota maama at the Delkanda pola one day, walk in to the Cabinet the next day to co-habit with the same ‘pohottuwa’ chaps they criticised. Others such as Anura Yapa and his group still sit on the fence wondering what to do next.

That is why, GL and the Gang of 13, we are so uncertain about you when you say that you are sick and tired of this government and want to switch sides. Are you tired of Uncle Ranil’s leadership already or is it that you are sick of sitting with the ‘pohottuwa’ chaps who still says ‘Yes, Sir,’ to Basil?

When you read the names of your group in Parliament the other day, you were keen to note that most of you were professors, lawyers and doctors. I suppose what you wanted to convey was that you were different from most of the others in the ‘pohottuwa’ camp, but that didn’t help some of you, did it?

For example, Nalaka was one of those who sang Gota maama’s praises until the very last days. Then we had Channa who believes in ‘naatha deiyo’ more than he does in medicine. You also have Charitha with you which is probably a consolation because he tried to do some good work against corruption.

GL, you must realise that your own record is not very impressive. We first saw you in politics with Satellite but you didn’t feel very secure there because you always had to play second fiddle to the ‘other’ Lakshman she recruited, the late Kadir. So, you then crossed over to Uncle Ranil’s Greens.

While there, you brokered a ceasefire with the Tigers which led to Uncle Ranil’s downfall. You then switched sides to join Mahinda maama to tell us that war with the Tigers was the best option. Next, you joined Gota maama becoming the nominal head of the ‘pohottuwa’, only to leave them now.

Also, have you settled among yourselves what roles you would play in the unlikely event that you are elected to lead us? Or, will you use Sajith’s ‘usa nam security, miti nam kamkaru’ formula? You and Dullas are like Laurel and Hardy, but you might prefer ‘usa nam janapathi, miti nam agamethi’!

Whatever your plan was, that may also have to change now, now that Gota maama is back in Paradise after his recent travels. Much will depend on whether he plans to retire and fade away quietly or whether he wants to stay and do battle. I am sure Uncle Ranil is having sleepless nights now!

So, GL and the Gang of 13, I hope you can appreciate why we feel confused by your decision to suddenly switch sides and join the Opposition. We do want the best for Paradise – especially at this time of crisis, but we are not sure whether you are the best people to deliver that for us!

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha

PS: Do you support Uncle Ranil’s budget? One of his best proposals was for all government officers to retire at 60 years. That will put most politicians, including him, out of business, but then Uncle Ranil’s budget is really all ‘baila’ isn’t it? In fact, he did end it with ‘aji thapara laahila’!