5th Column

My dear Basil maama,

I thought I must write to you because most people in Paradise are wondering what happened to your plans to scuttle the recent amendment to the Constitution, after it sailed through Parliament with much more than a two-thirds majority. Almost everyone is asking ‘mokada uney’? or ‘what happened?’

If it is of any consolation, Basil maama, these days the focus of attention of most people is on the cricket matches, so your defeat at the hands of Uncle Ranil didn’t create the type of sensation that it would have otherwise done. Still, it was an ‘upset’ similar to being beaten by Namibia in cricket!

It came as such a shock, especially because your ‘golayaas’ or acolytes in the ‘pohottuwa’ camp talked the talk in the lead up to the debate in Parliament. That chap Sagara who regularly puts both feet firmly in his mouth was bold enough to say that the amendment won’t see the light of day.

In the end, though, it passed through Parliament quite easily with two dozen votes more than the required two-thirds majority. It even had some 45 votes more than the number of votes you arranged for Uncle Ranil when he was contesting for President against Dullas in Parliament.

You had arranged for all your ‘pohottuwa’ underlings to conveniently absent themselves at the time of the vote, so the amendment would be deprived of a two-thirds majority. That is why even ‘Kappam’ Prasanna, who is the Chief Whip who is supposed to gather MPs, was himself absent from Parliament! 

Also among those who were conveniently absent was Mahinda maama. Therefore, it was even more of a shock when the other members of the ‘R’ clan – Chamal, Namal baby and Shashindra – also voted for the amendment. What message does that send to the rest of the ‘pohottuwa’, Basil maama?

Very few are daft enough to believe that there is a rift in the ‘R’ family. They think that you counted the numbers and, realising that the amendment would have a safe passage through Parliament, decided that Mahinda maama would be a ‘no show’ but that the others would go with the flow.

So, the real surprise was not the remaining members of the ‘R’ family voting for the amendment. It was that so many members of the ‘pohottuwa’ had dared to defy you when most of them owe their seats in Parliament to you. Ironically, by their votes, they deprived you of your seat in Parliament!

Although both the government and the opposition would have us believe that this amendment was about reducing Uncle Ranil’s powers and enhancing the powers of Parliament, what everyone was more interested about was what it would do to your political career, Basil maama.

It is no secret that when Aiyo Sirisena introduced the 19th Amendment, the clause about preventing dual citizens from holding office was aimed at you and Gota maama. Now that Gota maama has given up his American citizenship, the clause in the most recent amendment is aimed solely at you.

We do know that, ever since Uncle Ranil took the top job, it was you who really called the shots, telling him who should be appointed ministers and state ministers. That is also why the appointment of a new Cabinet was delayed because Uncle Ranil didn’t like some of your nominees.

At some point, Uncle Ranil must have become tired of you telling him what to do and of running a ‘udin Ranil, yatin Basil’ (or an ‘apparently Ranil but really Basil’) government. That is why he played his own game and ensured that enough ‘pohottuwa’ MPs voted for this amendment.

After all, it was only a few weeks ago that Mahinda maama had praised Uncle Ranil and said that he is now finally on the right track, and that the ‘pohottuwa’ chaps should support him now. Well, they seem to have followed that advice to the letter and supported him well – at your expense, though.

Many are now asking whether this means that you have lost your grip on the ‘pohottuwa’ and whether those from your party will slowly but surely drift towards Uncle Ranil’s Green party. Having only one member in Parliament, I am sure Uncle Ranil wouldn’t mind and he will say, ‘the more the merrier’!

Still, I am sure you know that all is not lost. All you have to do to outwit them is to renounce your American citizenship, just like Gota maama did. Before you do that, Basil maama, I hope you remember what happened to Gota maama when he tried to flee in a hurry and return to America.

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha

PS: The last time those opposed to you shut you out of Parliament, you put that time to good use to form the ‘pohottuwa’ and win the next elections. When they prevented you from leaving the land recently, you orchestrated Uncle Ranil’s election. So, they should be careful about what they wish for!