Education is a word on everyone’s lips these days. The President (of all people!) is accusing teachers of coming late to school; a university is closed, teachers are staging hunger strikes and the ‘O’ level examination has been disrupted.
So, to lend the government a helping hand, we thought we would set a question paper. All you have to do is to choose the most appropriate answer...
1. The best way to improve the economy would be:(a) for the President to undertake more trips to France
(b) to ask G.L. Peiris to prepare the budget and for the President to read it in Parliament instead of vice-versa.
(c) to appoint Tilan Wijesinghe as Finance Minister
(d) to give everyone a hundred rupee pay rise and increase bus fares and the prices of gas, petrol and bread.
2. The best way to solve the ethnic war would be to:(a) appoint a commission of inquiry into the ethnic war.
(b) promote General Ratwatte to the rank of Field Marshal.
(c) appoint Arjuna Ranatunga (or Devenall Whatmore!) as Army Commander.
(d) appoint Prabhakaran as Governor of the North and East instead of Gamini Fonseka as he is a better actor.
3. Cabinet secrets are leaked to newspapers because:(a) the ‘Reporter’ Mahinda Rajapakse leaks all the stories.
(b) half the stories are leaked by M.H.M. Ashraff; the other half by Srimani Athulathmudali.
(c) they are officially released by Dharmasiri Senanayake with a request that they should appear as they have been leaked.
(d) newspapers invent these stories, to get sued for criminal defamation.
4. The most significant achievement of the government in 1996 was:(a) the death of President J.R. Jayewardene
(b) auctioning President Premadasa’s gold plated bed
(c) winning the World Cup in cricket
(d) Ranil Wickremesinghe continuing as Leader of the Opposition.
5. The ‘Man of the Year’ for 1996 should be:(a) Chandrika Kumaratunga, for always being late, thereby avoiding being ‘the late’
(b) Sirima Bandaranaike, for being on talking terms with two children who are not on talking terms with each other
(c) Srimani Athulathmudali, for remaining in a Cabinet where most ministers don’t want to be seen talking to her.
(d) Shirani Bandaranayake for - well, you know why!
6. The most important political event in 1997 will be:(a) the resignation of Minister Fowzie, because he is unable to get the doctors to sign an attendance register.
(b) the marriage of Anura Bandaranaike
(c) Minister Nimal Siripala de Silva losing weight
(d) Jeyaraj Fernandopulle winning the Nobel Peace Prize.
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