The Sunday TimesPlus

1st June 1997

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Amend the law and make them gay

By Chamintha Tilakaratna and Sandrina Abeywardena.

Rosemary (not her real name) has known Michael (not his real name) ever since they met at their O/L English literature class a long time ago. Since then they have been good buddies and have confided in each other in almost everything as friends. Yet, there was something that Rosemary did not know about Michael. This was something quite personal and Michael was not sure as to whether Rosemary was ready to handle it, which was that he is gay. But finally when Michael told her the truth about his sexuality his fears came true for a few minutes as Rosemary stood stunned at the revelation of Michael’s secret trying to convince herself that he was joking.

After a few minutes of this posture her first sentence was, ‘Are you serious?’, to which Michael answered honestly ‘yes’.

This is a typical reaction most of the gay people encounter when they reveal their sexual inclinations. But fortunately in Micheal’s case, Rosemary was frank and open minded enough to accept his situation and continue their friendship without allowing his sexuality to get in the way. When Micheal realised that she was capable of handling it, his fears of unacceptance disappeared.

One of the gravest problems gay people in our society face is revelation of their sexual identity, this being partly due to the social value system.

Charlie (not his real name) was schooling when he came to notice that he was different to other boys of his age. Although he looked the same physically, his interests lay in different areas in comparison to that of other boys . While others would pass comments at girls and admire them Charlie felt no attraction towards the opposite sex.

"I realised that I was attracted to male figures, and not female" he said. Since then, he has not confessed about his sexuality to those other than a chosen lot, which excluded his parents. "I come from a family which is neither very conservative nor very liberal, but my parents are of strong faith, and I do not have the ability to walk up to them and tell them that I am a gay, not knowing how they would react," Charlie said. He expects his mother to react quite negatively and to show disappointment in him. Whether they will react any better or worse is something that he fears to find out, at least right now.

"Ever since I was small I think my parents and elders always suspected my behaviour. In my childhood I usually played doll with my sisters, and hanged around only with girls," said, Gamini. "When my parents suspicion came true they refused to accept it. My sisters were quite angry with me and my parents still look for marriage proposals for me," Gamini added. Today he is living away from home because he has been unable to live up to his parents expectations and to cope with their requests to get married.

"I knew that I was different and I always tried to act normal when I was around my friends. I had a girl friend in my teens but it never worked out because my interests lay elsewhere. Finally I had to break it off with her because I felt that I was doing her an injustice. I can’t help being what I am and wish that people would accept me for who I am and not by my sexuality." said Roshan

Although there are many Charlies, Gaminis, Michaels and Roshans in Sri Lanka, their deviant sexuality is still frowned upon in society and considered as an abnormal or unusual behaviour.

Many believe it to be a psychological rather than a physical problem, and if a person was willing to change himself that he/she had the power within themselves to do so.

ShermanSherman de Rose: Non-acceptance is one of the main problems
According to them, most of them had tried unsuccessfully to change their lifestyles as homosexuals, because it is not accepted in our culture. It has been for all, a daunting task coping with rejection by their loved ones, prejudice and insults. They are the outcasts in society, who have been subjected to brutality and humiliation many a time. Non-acceptance is one of the main problems facing gay communities today. While being unable to express their feelings they are also subjected to various ill treatments by society, according to Sherman De Rose, President of the gay association, Companions on a Journey.

"Majority of gay people are not wealthy enough to book a room at a hotel or at any other decent place where they are free to express their feelings with their partners. This has led many gay people to go in search of unthinkable places, for instance bribing a toilet lady to hire them public toilets to meet and associate with their partners is common," the Association members said.

Our law discriminates gay people as criminals, According to Act 365 of unnatural offences of the Penal Code, whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any man, woman or any animal, shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to ten years, and shall also be liable to a fine, while according to section A of the above Act, any male person who, in public or private, commits, or is a party to the commission of, or procures or attempts to procure the commission by any male person of, any act of gross indecency with another male person, shall be guilty of an offence, and shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to two years or with fine, or with both, and shall also be liable to be punished with whipping.

Being classified as criminals under the existing law, they said they cannot even enter a hospital. As a result they prefer to enter Private Hospitals where their identities are kept confidential and they are not ill treated. "Once I got myself admitted to a National Hospital for a very common social disease. The doctor did the check ups. Then, he called in all the Medical students who had come there and displayed me as a patient with a social desease. I felt so very embarrassed and decided never to enter a National Hospital again," another member said.

At police stations, gay people are severely harassed, according to them. Many policemen tend to take advantage of them when they realise that they are helpless and they not only go into the lengths of demanding a bribe but also of harassing them sexually, the members said.

Likewise, gay communities undergo much difficulty as a result of the law which restricts their freedom. "We do exist and we are visible," Sherman said. "We have a right to express ourselves be it sexually or otherwise as human beings. Does the law only accommodate heterosexuals? If we are born homosexuals still society must learn to respect us like they would respect any other who is born into the world, regardless of any difference," one of the gay members told The Sunday Times.

Among the many public perceptions on gay people are some misconceptions as well. Some being that "homosexual" means that people who practice sexual activities for physical pleasure alone and that all who involve themselves in a homosexual relationship at some point in their lives are necessarily gay and that gay people cannot get married, and so on. Well, gay people are as much involved with their partners physically, emotionally, and spiritually as any other heterosexual couple and not all who conduct a gay relationship at one point in their lives are gay, and as a matter of fact, gay people can get married with partners from the opposite sex and have done so and had children as well.

According to Sherman, "homosexual" means not only being physically involved but also emotionally and spiritually involved.

"Homosex means the physical aspect of it only. Among the many, who get involved in gay relationships, are school going boys, soldiers and even married people. A majority of gays conduct multiple relationships because they don’t get the opportunity to be emotionally involved or have long term relationships. As a result, many gay people have been chased out of their homes, schools and from their working places, leaving them at the mercy of the intolerant.

"Our centre is a safe haven for most gays who have either been ostracised by their families, lost their jobs, need advice or simply a place to stay." said de Rose.

Their difficulties, insults, and general intolerance arise partly due to the law introduced by the British in 1883. But the irony of it is that the British have amended the law to accommodate gay people in 1967, also allowing gay marriages. Laws here remain unchanged.


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