The sweet taste of freedom

There's absolute freedom within the university subculture. What with no parental supervision or no teachers tagging behind to guide one every step of the way, one has to go it alone. Some use this new found freedom wisely and sparingly, whereas others abuse it readily and brazenly.

Every day is a Valentine's Day here with Jacks and Roses abounding in not just the 'Lovers' Lane' but also in the canteen, the gym, the library, the lecture halls...practically everywhere. While some are content with just sitting side by side and having a tête-à-tête or studying or eating together, quite a few go to the extreme of professing their undying love for each other much to the annoyance of those around.

Now, to love somebody is fine. But why make a public display of it? Why not keep it private? Maybe I sound like an old fogey here but, surely, one does not need to rub others the wrong way. On the other hand, it takes all sorts to make a world, doesn't it?

Talking about love, it was heartening to see love of a different kind, the compassionate, selfless love for a fellow human being. There are these two guys, who escort their friend who is totally blind, from the hostel to the lecture hall and back. They would always sit on either side of him and most probably, help him with his studies. This just goes to confirm my belief that guys are, as a rule more helpful and less envious towards each other than girls.

Switching between lectures with no break in between could soon burn one out. Add to this the dull monologue of a lecturer, one hits the breaking point. Those who sit at the far back have the luxury of dozing off now and then while the (un)fortunate lot who occupy the front seats have to religiously follow the lecture or at least appear to do so.

Whether one pays attention or not is one's own business. Most of the lecturers carry on regardless, since at university one is treated like an adult and is expected to behave as such. No more spoon-feeding as in school. Occasionally, one does find the martinets who would immediately spot a sleepy-head and ensure a hearty laugh at the expense of the unsuspecting soul.

The next minute the long spell is broken and everybody's feverishly taking down notes. Those who cannot keep up with the breakneck speed simply give it up or lag behind, constantly peeping over the neighbour's notes to fill in the blanks. Worse still is when one cannot make head or tail of what the lecturer is talking about because one either is on an empty stomach or has stuffed oneself.

The students have their favourites among lecturers, with those who throw in a joke or two during a lecture with plenty of punch in it, topping the list. Well, who could resist a good laugh after heady stuff?

The election week gone with no unpleasant incidents reported, everybody heaved a sigh of relief. The representatives of the two parties came on the same stage and thanked everyone who voted for them. Now that's what you call sportsmanship. Alas, a couple of days later comes the news that a senior who supported the losing party was greeted with a bucketful of filth at the hostel. What a shame!

"It is a 'throw away' culture we have now," announced Anoja dramatically, " and it is followed even with regard to marriage. You get tired of your partner and you look around for another, discarding the old one!" she added. A 'throw away culture' I thought, perhaps she is right, for today we have got so used to discarding what we tire of whether it be clothes, fashions or whatever. The sad thing is that even in our personal relationships this attitude appears to previail.

In courtship a couple promises eternal love. At the marriage service they swear they will be faithful in good times and in bad, but in the normal everyday living of a marriage they get bored and tired of each other. He does not appear to be the fantastic guy she thought him to be, and what on earth has happened to that girl whom he married who was so beautifully groomed? He will say 'I did not know she will nag so much," and she will complain, 'If I don't remind him he forgets and here I am waiting for dinner and he has forgotten the bread!" "I never knew he was so possessive" she will say, "after all, what harm if my boss drops me at home after work" and he will answer "that guy is such a Romeo I wouldn't want any girl to be seen with him" and so it goes on, the constant bickering till one gets tired and then decides that one is better off without the other - "the throwing away", which does not satisfy us or give us happiness.

But I somehow think that is wrong, the gloss may fade but the essential reason that made us decide to choose our partner does not change and surely our commitment to love and to be faithful should remain. I often think that our fickleness is a result of the values society thrusts on us through the media's constant influence telling us that what is not needed can be thrown away, even a marriage. I remember the good old days when people stayed together not often because it was joyous to do so, but like a shoe one did not discard one's partner 'cause one was bored or other pastures were greener!

I yet remember commenting to one of my friends whose husband tended to flirt with every woman he met. She said, " Ah, I know that everyone says he is unfaithful. Yet I also know he will come home to me for I accept warts and all. Whereas, he knows that those whom he flirts with see him only in that glamorous light he presents. Maybe I am a fool but yet he will never leave me, and so I ignore his lapses." I wonder what today the young marrieds will say. Will they like Anoja said decide that today's culture is one of 'throwing away' what does not satisfy.

Satyn meets Moratuwa Ladies

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