So
free in Serendib
Freedom, personal free-dom: it's a pretty diffi-cult
concept to get to grips with and it seems these days, more than ever, an
ideal to achieve. Autonomy, independence, liberty, emancipation, self-determination,
these are the dictionary definitions but the actual emotion, individually
experienced, is a lot harder to pin down.
What I do know is that my time in Sri Lanka (three months to date) has
taught me more about it than I've ever previously had cause to consider.
In letters, articles and e-mails during my first few weeks here I joked
that arriving in Sri Lanka unprepared for the onslaught of constant culture-shock
and solo expeditions into the unknown was like 'an intensive assertiveness
training field-trip'. And I think I'm finally reaping the rewards of that
training - thanks to this serendipitous land.
A lot of people seem to equate freedom with money, especially where
a lack of it affects people's lives as significantly as it does here in
Sri Lanka. For a relatively wealthy westerner (albeit reliant on a local
wage) it might sound crass to say that this hasn't been the case for me,
but money, lack of it or otherwise has had little to do with the sensation
I'm referring to. More likely to inspire it in fact are the daily experiences
of witnessing life in its rawest, most accessible form that have come to
characterise my life in Sri Lanka. Visiting friends from England have recently
reaffirmed this bringing their own uninitiated ways and wide-eyed perspective
and reminding me of my (slightly more fine-tuned now!) own.
From my comparative conversations with tourists/holiday makers (this
was my fourth trip out to spend an hour or so in the airport's arrivals
area) and locals, I have come to realise that the common perception that
Lankans have of the 'outsiders' image of Sri Lanka is far from exact. That
the country is 'war torn, a spoiled idyll, dangerous' is not surprisingly
a million miles away from most tourists' minds when they visit.
A far more popular image is still the traditional honeymoon isle, vibrant
cultural colour, beautiful beaches and unspoilt scenery. Despite the world
news reports that suggest otherwise, the romanticism of the 'teardrop in
the Indian Ocean' is still the more popular perception of Sri Lanka by
far. The latter might be a little over-idealised, and the former might
hold more truth than most holiday-makers would like to, or indeed ever
believe (which just exemplifies the egocentricity of 'world news' elsewhere).
The effect however - like the magical eye that tourists cast across the
'quaint villages' and Enid Blyton/Agatha Christie-like landscapes that
otherwise appear 'average' to me back in England, is one that can be infectious
to even the most jaded, over-accustomed view.
In fact I've noticed that many of the holiday-makers et al are more
likely to note things like beggars with too few limbs, many mouths to feed,
old people bent double due to lifelong work and other such examples of
'reality' as the only blot on their idealistic landscape. This is where
the 'regular tourist' and I have to agree to differ. For me it is this
intimacy with the 'raw-edged' nature of our existence, the sense of humanity
and its both brazenly temporal and essentially ephemeral qualities that
make experiencing it fully, all the more necessary.
I have witnessed many examples of the way that death and drama are quite
literally 'closer to home' in Sri Lanka than on the sanitised streets back
home, where such fears are kept behind closed doors. As are loss and suffering
and their unavoidable counterparts, life and joy. Death, growth and change,
it's a familiar cycle to us all and one that has so far characterised my
stay in Sri Lanka in a number of ways. From the tears in the Manchester
airport departures' lounge to the dog, one of many that fall victim to
traffic, hit by the van on the way to collect our friends.
It has also, I'm certain, promoted this sense of 'living for the moment'
as opposed to 'putting off until tomorrow'. There is less time to pontificate
over the meaning of life when you're so busy experiencing it, or as one
of life's great 'thinkers' once put it 'when you are free, being is doing
and doing is being - either way you cast little shadow to hide in'.
One thing is certain, in Sri Lanka I have far more of a 'sense of self'
in a world unbound by other people's constructs. I realise that this might
sound a little contradictory, aware as I am as the next inside/outsider
of the many binding traditions, ideals and etiquette of Lankan society
(and of Victorian Britain's hand in all of this). But for me it's the effect
of stepping outside these traditions and looking in with an alternative
eye that has been such a revelation.
As an 'introductory' meditation pupil, I am already aware of the powers
of 'noticing' my own thought mind, rather than allowing it to take its
own wild path. Viewing with a non-judgmental eye to gain a less critical,
more open understanding perspective. This analogy between travel and meditation
is aided by the slow-paced yet equally action-packed (life, however slow
continues to hit me directly in the face daily, here) moment-by-moment
lifestyle Sri Lanka seems to encourage.
It seems I could point to various different things to explain this sense
of liberation I have; my fresh perspective (still clinging on steadfastly
after three months in the place I now refer to as 'home'). The simpler,
less artificially refined and more relaxed 'real' way of life, the bombardment
of new experience or even escape from a 'day to day' dull ache of familiar
routine/environment. But I'm not sure any or even all of them suffice.
What I am sure of is that a sense of 'freedom', dictionary definitions
aside, is certainly something I've come to feel closer to in Sri Lanka
than ever before. Serendipity indeed. |
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