Rajpal's Column

23rd July 2000

Confusion on all our sides

By Rajpal Abeynayake

Confusion is generally not considered a good idea, and that's after granting that God created the world out of chaos. But take this.

Chandrika Bandaranaike Kumaratunga, speaking to the officers of the Sri Lanka Administrative Service, promised to have elections in terms of the new constitution after parliament is dissolved on August 24th. That had even the jaded SLAS officers so confused, that they didn't say anything about it in the end.

President Kumaratunga sows confusion and moves on. Nobody has learnt to do anything about that in the last six years.

Most times, the confusion is of the variety that insults basic intelligence.

(Dissolving parliament by August 24th and having elections under the new constitution!)

But, in Sri Lanka's argumentative highly polemical society, such confusion is taken with a whoop of joy. Preethi! It's gooey grist for the mill for newspaper artistes. It's good fun giving Chandrika gems of the microscopic analysis — until the cows come home and more confusion is sown, and Chandrika moves on to even newer more confusing territory….

In her first six year term, for instance, confusion was sown first by promising a political package, then by promising to rush it through parliament, then by not doing it, then by promising again to rush it through parliament, then by saying that she would abolish the Executive Presidency forthwith, then by saying that because of the UNP she couldn't rush it through parliament, then by saying she would have a referendum, then by saying she couldn't abolish the Executive Presidency because the UNP didn't want the package, then by having a Presidential election saying that the first thing she would do afterwards was to rush the package through parliament, etc., etc., etc.,….

All this confusion came under the scrutiny and cross hairs of the newspaper wallahs, the three page analysts and the four page editorialists. ( And guess? She says the newspaper wallahs are taking her for a ride..)

Here then is a message to the Editor of the Sunday Leader. Chandrika Kumaratunga may lose a few battles. But, she always wins in the end. And you – you learn to move on. And everybody learns to move on too — confusion billowing on all our sides. It's our long national picnic…

* * * * The regular gourmand, Kingsley Wickramaratna says that the UNP handed him scrambled eggs ( by way of an economy.) For a Trade Minister who represents a government which seems to hit people right on the stomachs first, at least he got the metaphor right. Sounds quite foody, which is all very well coming from the portly Minister.

But, what's the answer for scrambled eggs ( …that cannot be unscrambled.) The PA squeezed some toothpaste onto the scrambled eggs, and squeezed some more toothpaste — and now the PA and the Minister don't seem to be able to get the toothpaste back in the tube.

Hmm, no wonder the Minister needed toothpaste after all those scrambled eggs......

The JVP and the UNP have identified the economy as the major malaise, but the Sihala Urumaya has identified the main political compulsion of the times, which is that everybody wants to outdo the other in pleasing the Sinhala majority when a poll is projected. (Nirupama Subramanium writing in the Hindu says both parties are stepping over each others toes' to love the Sinhalese more...)

Whether it's due to observing all of these Sinhala premium thoughts or not, the foreign lobbies are working overtime. The Chairman of the US Congressional Committee on Foreign Relations has written to higher powers in the US, drawing attention to the fact that "Sri Lankan governments have a long history of suppressing the Tamil minority rights.'' In the meantime, Amnesty International chooses to unleash it's own concern over "torture and Sri Lanka's inability to keep to it's international human rights treaty commitments.'' Amnesty plans to issue a separate book about the LTTE. ( Just joking.)

* * * * End-piece: A snake was seen in the dressing room of the South African team when South Africa was being subjected to a long-maul by Sanath Jayasuriya on the first day of the test match. AP reported that the snake slid under some bottles, seeking solace from the confusion.

One interpretation has it that the snake escaped from the Board of Control side of the divide, and was seeking Ana Punchihewa desperately, explaining why he slid under the Pepsi's. It was just the morning that Arjuna Ranatunge had sent a letter off saying that he would be a part of the team, only as long as he could keep his head upright.

Since all this is too much for our adrenaline, we take a peek over the border, where IT men are bowling bodyline at the Indian cricketing establishment. (IT doesn't stand for Information Technology either – it stands for Internal Tax.) Apparently, police raided homes of some of the top Indian cricketers including Kapil Dev, Jadeja, Manoj Prabhakar etc., of whom the latter duo were in London holidaying with their wives.

It's difficult not feeling sorry for these poor blokes particularly when the cops are on them, but it also means that cricket is now getting to be great in its off - field intrigues.

This is great fun, if you are not the one being chased by the tax men and the anti gambling sleuths, that is. A British magazine complained recently that Pete Sampras, the serial Wimbledon tennis champion was a bore. Their criteria was that he just played tennis, even though it was pretty good tennis — this being a terrible sin in a game that had produced the likes of Jimmy Connors, John Mc Enroe and Illie Nastase for starters. If Sampras didn't pout, they weren't inclined to consider him a good tennis player. If cricketers are not on the take, sub-continental journalists probably will lose the taste for the game. Sangakkara – dull, dull.

(Please see also an article on economics and poverty a la Lanka in the business section ( biz broadsides p 11) of today's Sunday Times.)

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