6th August 2000

US presidents keep comedians busy

The most devastating cartoons and jokes have been on US President Bill Clinton whose sexual escapades inside and outside the White House are legendary.

Since Clinton leaves office in December, most comedians are sad because he was the staple of most of their biting late night monologues.

One of the most popular presidents in contemporary American history, Clinton could have won a third term if only the American constitution permitted him to do so.

Writing in the New York Times last week, Jack Cohen says that if there was no law against it, Clinton may have gained a third term as president with the greatest landslide in history.

"True, he has been a sinner, but after all is said and done, aren't we all?", he asks.

On the other hand, Vice President Al Gore, who is now seeking the Democratic nomination for the US presidency, has been widely acknowledged as sin-less and virtuous while being boring, uninspiring and rather wooden in his public performance.

Jay Leno, one of the late night stand-up comedians, combined the weaknesses of the two politicians so well known to the American public into a single gag.

Clinton and Gore make a good pair in American politics, Leno said, because "Clinton will take you to bed and Al Gore will put you to sleep."

Urging Gore to cash in on the president's popularity, some newspaper columnists are asking him with tongue firmly entrenched in cheek to choose Clinton as his vice presidential running mate.

A former US president as vice president? A joke no doubt, but sounds very much like a serious one.

But then, the only job most American vice-presidents are adept at is "to attend funerals of Third World dictators."

Dan Quayle, vice president to George Bush, was such a frequent flyer to funerals of world leaders that he is said to swear by the pithy slogan: "You Die, I fly".

In the 1970s, one vice-president had the misfortune of dying in bed in the arms of his mistress, which prompted a cynic to remark, that "behind every successful man is his wife and behind her is his mistress."

But it was J.R. Ewing of the TV night time soap opera "Dallas" who invoked the cardinal rule in American politics: "never get caught in bed with a live man or a dead woman."

Last week at the Republican convention in Philadelphia, George W. Bush was picked as the party's nominee for president, with former Defense Secretary Dick Cheney as his vice presidential running mate.

Cheney, who served under the senior George Bush when he was president in the early 1990s, is considered a strong Bush loyalist and treated as a member of the family.

A cartoon last week portrayed a big-made Cheney holding a puny little George W. by his hand, with the senior Bush offering his advise: "My son, I want you to go along with Mr.Cheney, and do whatever he asks you to do."

The older Cheney, a widely experienced politician and government official, is being described as a baby sitter for George W. Bush.

By the end of the month, the Democrats will pick Al Gore as their nominee for president, with the vice presidency still up for grabs.

And with the US presidential elections scheduled for November 2000, both Democratic and Republican politicians are being pilloried almost every day both in the print and the electronic media.

A trade mark of most American politicians on the campaign trail is to kiss babies as part of a display of public affection what right-wing, conservative politicians call "family values".

When Senator Gary Hart, who had a reputation of being a lady- killer, ran for president years ago, one of his aides was seen tugging onto his sleeves and telling the presidential aspirant: "Senator, you are expected to kiss babies, not their mothers."

But as one comic put it, with Clinton things could be different. He wouldn't know whether to kiss the baby or deny knowing the mother.