Say you're sorry and save your relationship

In many a marriage resentment very often occurs due to this inability to say sorry. I think we tend to fight shy of saying sorry, as if by apologizing we are admitting our vulnerability. It takes real courage to accept a fault and to offer an apology. 

A genuine sorry can do much to reduce anger, humiliation or fear. It can be the one word that could save a marriage, for with it you are saying you care and are sad that you have hurt or angered the other. It is surely better to re-establish the relationship of love than let false pride destroy the fragile togetherness of two people. 

Long years ago, my mother would tell me, 'Never let the sun go down on your anger.' That is a good phrase to remember when one is angry or bitter. Don't let the darkness of night come without establishing once again the love that brought you together. Say sorry and make up, for after all if it is within your power to mend a hurt and saddened heart. Remember love is all that really matters in the end, and all that lasts. 

It was just awesome!

Maybe you were glued to the TV the entire two weeks spanning the Sydney Olympics, all the while wishing you were there in Sydney. Maybe you were wondering how it would have felt to have been one of the Sri Lankan team when Susanthika ran into the books of history, or what Australian wonder boy Ian Thorpe would look like close up. Read on. Theekshana Ratnasekara, the 'baby' of the Sri Lankan contingent is about to brighten up your picture of the Olympics by recalling her first-hand experiences. 

She certainly has memories well worth saving up for posterity. She was "there" at the first Olympics of the new Millennium, and was among the mad crowd cheering on Susanthika Jayasinghe on her sprint towards Sri Lanka's first Olympic medal in 52 years. And Theekshana, 18, had her own moment of glory when she broke our five-year-old national record in her event, Women's 50m Freestyle. But her path to Sydney certainly wasn't easy.

"I had to face many problems and I really got to know I was on the team just the day before we left. I was so thrilled! This was my first Olympic Games and I was the youngest in our team. It was marvellous," she says.

"Sydney amazed me. Everything was different. The Olympic Village was deserted when we got there on September 6th, but after the other athletes started coming in, it was fun. At training I got to meet world-class swimmers like Ian Thorpe -my, he's massive!- Michael Klimm, and it was one good opportunity!"

"Staying in the village was fun. There was a 24-hour bus service, everything was close by and the people were really friendly and helpful. Each country got two cars and there were two drivers and you could just about go anywhere you wanted to with them."

Being the youngest had its disadvantages too. "My chaperone was quite strict about me going out alone! She always made sure I was accompanied by a senior athlete," said Theekshana, laughing.

Her only complaint about the glamorous opening ceremony is that she missed the beginning. "All the athletes had to stay in the Superdome till each country was called out for the march past. I couldn't wait to get out into the stadium, but the countries came out according to alphabetical order and we had to wait all the way till 'S'!"

"After the parade all the athletes were crowded in the middle of the track while the spectacular ceremonies were going on around us. It was just awesome! We talked with the athletes from other countries and most of them especially the black people were really nice," she says, recalling the spirit of the games.

Theekshana recalls her own event with much satisfaction. "In spite of everything I had to go through here, I trained hard and did my best swim. That was my best 50 metres and I was so happy. It wasn't at all easy because things were really different there. The first time I went to watch some of the finals I felt so nervous because of the noise, the cheering and all the attention paid to the competitors. And I was thinking, 'oh my god, on the 22nd it's going to be me on the block!' But I got used to it." 

"I was in good form and felt fast, and I was so relieved after my record, because it was a five-year-old record that I broke," says Theekshana. She broke the existing Sri Lankan record, speeding up to 29.88 seconds in the event. 

And how does she remember Susanthika's sprint? "Oh my goodness, I can't say how happy we all were! She was saying that she would get a medal and that she was quite ready for it. But I was so nervous when she was on the block, jumping up and down! I was thrilled afterwards. The first medal in 52 years and I was actually in the team - it was so unbelievable!"

"On the whole, just being there was memorable. Making friends with athletes from all around the world, and meeting world famous people like Marion Jones, Cathy Freeman, Ian Thorpe. Though I didn't get a chance to talk to them, watching them training and being there was special."

The experience has no doubt made her more determined to succeed and now Theekshana has her eyes set on the national and international meets in the future. 

Nuisance calls: victim or culprit?

By Laila Nasry and Ruhanie Perera 

Sounds all too familiar huh? Who would have thought the use of the telephone would take a drastic twist and prove a source of entertainment to bored individuals (a fact that must have Alexander Graham Bell rolling in his grave). Everyone of us who owns a phone has been at the receiving end of at least one nuisance call at some point in time. Then there are those of us who have been those bored individuals happily indulging in nuisance calls plaguing the lives of others. 

"Nuisance calls are a form of occupational therapy for me," says Natasha*, a regular nuisance call giver. More often than never she reaches out for the phone out of sheer boredom, as she finds the experience "thrilling, entertaining and deviously naughty". "It gets even better when you are with friends, the joke is really for the group's benefit. Especially since we call acquaintances in common." 

Full of pride, she boasts that not a single receiver has blasted her. "Seven out of ten people chat to me, I think they enjoy the whole thing just as much as I do. I suppose that's because I don't call for the sake of irritating them, so they don't mind." Natasha, a person who likes to do things with a flourish, spices her conversations up with dashes of French, German and Russian phrases (the few she knows at least). "I think the ability to give nuisance calls is one you are born with - either you have it or you don't. Of course the ability to disguise your voice and be able to hold back laughter are an added bonus. And you have to be a bit of a comedian as well."

Her personal favourite opening line is to say "halo, api tikak katha karamu" in her "goday voice", and plays it by ear from that point. "It's a great confidence booster," she laughs. 

Raveen* yet another ardent nuisance call giver says that giving nuisance calls is 'an art one can derive much pleasure from.' "I bug people, but not for too long and they are always friends of mine. It's their personal details that we know after all." Whenever his group of friends meet, someone they know is in for the time of his life. "We call our friends, who are learning to drive or have just got their licence and give them a bit of a scare about the accidents (made up by us of course) they've been involved in. With the first "halo, may polisiyen katha karannay" their victims are hooked. "We also call our girlfriend's fathers and have a bit of fun," he says with a devilish chortle. 

In his opinion the most important thing is to be persistent when giving calls. "Although you need to bug the receiver, you can't afford to get them too angry - they might hang up on you. You can't let that happen, after all it is your entertainment at stake here." 

Everyone at some point in their life has succumbed to temptation and has picked up the phone to give a nuisance call. Yeah, they sure can be a great source of entertainment. Yet, on the flip side of the coin, any harmless joke can be harmful when one exceeds the limit. When abused nuisance calls can turn sour. Especially for the person at the receiving end. 

In the telephone directory there is a special provision for nuisance calls. Though Sri Lanka Telecom is not responsible for such calls they offer the service of assisting the customer in tracing them. Harassed customers can address letters signed by the owner of the telephone to their Regional Telecom Officer who will look into the matter. If the originator of such calls is apprehended the Telecom will initiate suitable action against the culprit and his services are liable to be disconnected. 

Mr. Dunstan Fernando the Regional Telecom Officer for Colombo Central said they receive around three nuisance calls complaints per week. "Once we receive a complaint we call up the complainant and give him/her instructions on what to do when they receive these calls. We also call up the exchange and keep the line under observation for 10 days." The instructions given to the complainant are simple. They include tapping the cradle switch twice, in order to register the call with the exchange, while the call is in progress and noting the date and time of the call. That done the exchange is able to trace the phone number of the culprit. 

However the identity of the caller is kept confidential "to avoid any confrontations between the complainant and the culprit." Nevertheless Telecom contacts the call giver and warns them. "Most of them tender apologies." 

"I was at the receiving end of some horrible calls," says Mrs. T. Perera, who had to deal with heavy breathing and a raspy voice. "It was extremely eerie, because the calls always came at night." She responded with anger, at first (everyone in the house blasted him), but when that had no effect she reported the calls. "I was given instructions on what to do when I got the call and I was to note down the date and time of the call. Telecom never had to take any action because the minute the caller realised that the calls were being registered he stopped. It obviously scared him off." 

On a happier note, most receivers derive as much entertainment from nuisance calls as the giver. "I enjoy them totally," says Rozanne* who has received many calls. "I love it when the caller claims to be my secret admirer. Considering I don't have admirers in real life, these calls are a real ego boost." She enjoys sending such callers on a wild goose chase and turns the call around by setting up times and places where they can meet her - dates she never keeps. "When it comes to these calls the same person rarely calls twice, so you can have a ball." Being the unselfish person she is, Rozanne shares the fun with her family allowing them to pick up the extension and listen in. "I even allow my mother to speak since she sounds just like me. You sure can have a lot of fun - you just need to know how."

Rrrrrrrring...this time -get smart. If it's that gorgeous voice proclaiming to be your secret admirer...well then hanging up would be a waste. But if it's a raspy voice trying to be funny on line then tap twice and go #$%@. 

* Names have been changed...for obvious reasons

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