11th February 2001
News/Comment|
Editorial/Opinion| Business|
Sports| Mirror Magazine
Small Talk
By Nedra Wickremasinghe
Good manners are all about courtesy, respecting others and putting others at ease. So are you particular about the impression you make on others? If you have any questions on etiquette write into Small Talk. Nedra Wickremasinghe, Director of the Nedisa Social Skills Training Institute will answer all your queries. Your letters should be addressed to:'Small Talk'
C/o The Sunday Times
8, Hunupitiya Cross Road,
Colombo 2
Dinner table chatter
Question: I work in the garment industry and have to host visiting foreign clients frequently to lunch or dinner. Should the dinner table conversation be work-related? Can we not talk business at all?Answer: If it means a day's visit to your organization, I'm afraid, every minute counts and, therefore, it means business all the way over coffee, tea, lunch or dinner. If it's a lunch or dinner gathering of regulars, then the conversation would generally be light and could cover any topic from the weather to politics.
Question: Are we expected to treat every dinner engagement, say for example with a visiting client, as a serious affair? Can't we make it a social outing, where we can get to know each other better?
Answer: Remember that business is the largest social environment in the world. No matter how familiar you are with your client, keep in mind that the bottom line is business. If the client is here on an extended visit and you work all day together, a fun night out wouldn't hurt. For table conversation, depending on how formal the occasion, serious matters could be discussed. However, some like to leave their work behind and unwind, and nothing is more stimulating than good conversation around the table - an exchange of ideas, opinions and even light jokes. Play it by ear and let the conversation flow. Trying to impress others with shop talk when the rest are engaged in light banter and humour will make you stand out as a bore. Conversation is an art and good communication skills are vital.
Question: What topics should we talk on and what should we avoid?
Answer: Current topics, sports, food exhibitions, music, books, theatre, hobbies, world affairs and the world of internet (to an extent) are the best. Update your knowledge by reading anything you can get hold of and make a mental list of current facts before you set out in the evening. Disagree if you have to, in a nice way without being vehement. Be sensitive to another's point of view.
Nowadays, politics, gossip, sex and religion can be discussed depending on the company. But it's best to avoid gaffes specially of a personal nature. Do not put your point of view strongly, as this may cause heated arguments. Get on to a topic only if you are sure you can get out smoothly. Avoid controversy at all times.
A smile won't hurt
Question: I work in a large private firm and our office complex is four floors. Should I greet each and every colleague I meet as I head towards my desk every morning? My work takes me to two other floors in the first hour of the day, and what of the others I meet? Where do I draw the line?Answer: You should say 'Good Morning' to all the people you meet, pass or talk to, be it the security officer, peon, colleague or even CEO, from the time you step into the office premises in the morning till you get to your desk. Once you are at your desk restrict the greeting to those in and around your area and workplace. Going around your office from floor to floor greeting each and everybody might make you look like the entertainment executive.
However, a spontaneous warm greeting in the morning is always good. Remember, a smile is the universal gesture of friendliness, and we Sri Lankans do smile a lot anyway.
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