Speaking his way through

Trinitian Shamir Zavahir left to represent Sri Lanka at the International English Speech contest to be held in London, United Kingdom along with Nuwan Gamage of Royal College.

The Speaking Union, a part of the Commonwealth Organisation based in London, has the Queen as Patron and Duke of Edinburgh as Vice Patron and is devoted to global understanding through English speaking. The Sri Lanka English speaking Union conducted several speech competitions for students islandwide to select these participants.

Students from over 50 nations will be competing at this contest to be held at Dartmouth House, London.

Sixteen-year-old Shamir will also experience parliamentary procedure and debating at the mock parliamentary sessions like his elder sister Shirazi Zavahir, a final year law student who was selected to represent Sri Lanka at the Millennium Commonwealth Youth Parliament in Manchester last winter. While in London he will be a guest of the old boys of his alma mater.

Hair 'raising' issue?

By Norm(an) De Plume

If this were a TV show in stead of a newspaper you'd probably be seeing a close-up of my mug with me shouting 'I'm back!!' Be thankful for small mercies - or even big ones.

Reading the Mirror article on hairstyles a few weeks back brought back some fond memories. My bro and I never went to a barber (or is it the hairdresser?) until a couple of years ago. Or rather, my mother didn't allow us to - she preferred to handle our curly locks herself. I won't comment on Amma's hairstyles apart from just mentioning that no two ever came out the same.

My father, on the other hand, had only one haircut from my mother. Quite some time ago, he wanted his hair trimmed before an important meeting and since he was short on time, he wanted my mother to do it. Well, he made my mum so nervous that she accidentally cut off a clump (a biggish one I hear) right off the very top of his head. To cut a long story short, he went to the meeting with the fervent hope that the shoe polish on his head would be good enough to pass muster. It's not an issue any more, because nowadays he's too busy hanging on to what little he's got, far less trying to cut it off.

But perhaps there's nothing as dangerous as a sister aspiring to be a hairdresser. We used to have a rule against wearing caps inside school premises (unless it was a sports meet etc.). One day this little fellow, around 12 or 13 years old, tried to sneak past us wearing one. We called him over and asked him to remove it. Rather reluctantly, he removed his cap to reveal the most grotesque haircut I've ever seen. In reply to our amazed stares, with tears welling in his eyes, he told us how his sister had cut his hair while he was asleep. We decided to give the rules a rest and let the poor fellow wear his cap - it was the least we could do.

But not all silly haircuts are the result of well-meaning(?) family members. One of my friends who had long hair, turns up one day with a very short crop. 'I felt like a change, she said. But a little prodding revealed that she had managed to get paint -the stuff you apply on walls - on her hair. That's what happens to you when you walk under a ladder while people atop are working with paint. Sometimes your hair is a matter of life or death, like another friend who had to change her hairstyle because her rather frizzy hair was generating too much static electricity. (This is not entirely true, but I had great fun with the theory.) Ah well, you know what they say - 'Hair' today, gone tomorrow!

The Clothes Line

A real raw deal

Do you know what I feel like to have failed an exam. Whether it be by one mark or a hundred the fact remains that you have failed.

Well, I am going through this phase. I did my A/L's and my dreams have been dashed because I don't have enough marks to enter Medical College.

At first you can't believe this is happening to you. After all my hard work and sleepless nights. But then comes self blame. You start remembering that one night you watched a movie or went to a birthday party instead of studying.

The worst is - disappointed parents. They don't say anything but their hopes have been dashed too. You have to live with the fact that you have let them down.

What about all the relatives and neighbours, who can't keep their nose out of it. I can't stand the false sympathy - 'poor girl she has failed' they announce to the world gleefully. They keep asking you questions and giving you advice and you just want to scream: 'What do you care anyway, leave me alone', but of course you can't. So you endure or try to avoid them. You try to tell them that you didn't fail the exam but only missed entering Medical College, but they don't care much for facts anyway. So you give up after a while.

And you try to deal with the situation and try to realise that this has happened to you. So you try to cheer yourself with all sorts of sayings like "failures are the pillars of success". Unfortunately philosophy doesn't work very much.

As a child most people say, "I want to be a doctor". But many of our dreams change, but a few like me are tenacious and can't let go of the idea.

You know when I failed to enter Medical College it hit me really hard. Only then did I realise how much I had been hoping and dreaming of that chance. Maybe poor mortals like us who couldn't make it should form a club. We can at least try to cheer ourselves, - and one for our parents too. Well life does hand you some hard deals sometimes, but I haven't given up yet. And in a few years I just might treat you for free. So keep your fingers crossed.

True love

Dark people are beautiful too

Hey Taaro, I'm a darkie too and what I've found really terrible about our contemporary society is that they feel to be beautiful you must be fair. it's really annoying. I mean look at the number of fair models in most advertisements. Is it because a product won't sell if a dark model is used? This is a very narrow-minded stereotypical society that we live in. It's a sad thing that people think like this even in the year 2001.

It's almost as if people think that some are bad because of their colour. But you on the other hand are so lucky to be dark, because it is to your advantage in the situation you are in. I guess us dark people do have a lot going for us after all huh? ? It's great to be dark!

And Cassie, don't worry, true love will come your way.

Darkie

Prayers can't be answered unless they are prayed

Life without purpose is barren indeed.
There can't be a harvest unless you plant seeds.
There can't be attainment unless there's a goal.
And man's but a robot unless there's a soul.
If we send no ships out, no ships will come in,
And unless there's a contest, nobody can win.
For games can't be won unless they are played,
And prayers can't be answered unless they are prayed.
So whatever is wrong with your life today,
You'll find a solution if you kneel down and pray:
Not just for pleasure, enjoyment and health,
Not just for honours and prestige and wealth.
But pray for a purpose to make life worth living
And pray for the joy of unselfish giving,
For great is your gladness and rich your reward.
When you make your life's purpose the choice of the Lord.

Sent in by Mrs. Renate Raju

No mountain too high….

This is with regard to a letter which appeared on this page. There was a short time in my life during which I too often thought about committing suicide. I was depressed and liable to start crying at the drop of a hat. The worst part was that I couldn't see beyond the anger and the pain and the hurt. As the reason for this 'problem', was within my immediate family, it wasn't possible to avoid it. People say that you should talk to someone about your problems. But it isn't that easy. I spent a lot of time hiding the pain, and an equal amount of time trying to get someone to ask me if I was alright. Finally I did talk to a person close to me. We talked, we cried and then things weren't as bad as I had thought.

Now when I think back, I feel that the reason I found it hard to confide in another human, was because it made me feel vulnerable. I didn't wan't people to think I was weak.

I learnt a few things from that experience, that I would like to share with you.

1. If you have a problem which you think you can't handle, talk to someone (preferably older).

2. You are stronger than you think.

3. Every problem you overcome, makes you a stronger person.

4. You are not alone with your problem.

And finally if a person approaches you with something they need to get off their shoulders, give them a hug and listen to them.

Someone who knows

Stuff to ponder on

Just some stuff I thought about.

*Trust is like a piece of paper, and betrayal, a fire. Once the paper burns it can never be recreated. Even if copies may exist, it can never completely replace the original. The copy does not have the familiarity or comfort that the original had, the creases that showed it had been used. In the same way trust once lost, is difficult to regain. Even if you try, it lacks the familiarity and comfort that existed before. It will never ever be the same again. *If you start something wanting to stop it -don't start it. Why is it that the very things that make us cry are the things we love most? A reader

True love does exist

To all of you out there looking for true love,

There really is a thing called 'true' love. I've lived for a few decades and for a long time I kept searching for that 'true' love. I had this idea of what my 'true' love should be like and how he should love me. He had to do things for me which demonstrated his love as well, even such a simple thing as opening a door for me.

But when I was finally blessed, yes blessed with my 'true' love he was all I expected and so very much more. He was what every girl dreams a man to be. He accepted me for who I was. He makes me laugh. He springs little surprises on me. He does things in my best interest - even if I do not like things to be done in my best interest. He comforts me when I cry. He takes me places I want to go to without ever counting the cost - not just financially. He corrects me when I am wrong, listens to me at any time, puts up with my moods. He loves me from the bottom of his heart and of course - he opens every door for me.

True love does exist. Sometimes it takes a bit longer than we like in coming to us. But 'true' love does exist.

S

Tell your loved ones how much you cherish them

Please take your time to express how much others mean to you.

It has been a long time since I have started to wonder why people are so hesitant about showing the ones they love how much they mean to them. I myself am a person who always writes on my friends' autographs that they should show the people they love, that they actually care about them and that they mean a lot to them because if not, one day they will regret the fact that they never did what they should have done when they had the chance. (That is of course when they have lost those loved ones for good). But no matter how many times I tried expressing myself to the ones that mean a lot to me, I have never succeeded in expressing how much their friendship or their love meant to me.

You might think that I must be a very shy person and a person who has a very hard time in expressing what I actually want to, but I am not a person who has difficulty in socializing with others and stating what I really want to. (But I guess that ability is only found when I am in different situations and this situation has to be an absolute exception).

I suppose you must be wondering why I am writing this hoping that this would be published in the paper. Well I am writing this because I know now what I really wanted my friends to understand when I wrote on their autographs because I did face that moment in which I did regret the fact that I never expressed to that special person of mine how much the love and the friendship that I received meant to me and that I never took it for granted and that I did always cherish it. We had to part for good and I didn't speak of my feelings and I will always regret it. So please think twice and please let those people close to your heart know what they actually mean to you because our lives are so short and you might not have another chance like right now.

Someone who cares

Why we love chocolate so

Are you a chocoholic? Do you crave choco late regularly and are you unable to imagine life without it? If so, then don't despair because you are in good company.

Debra Waterhouse, author of the books, Outsmarting the Female Fat Cell and Why Women Need Chocolate says "Very few of us have strong cravings for tofu, rice cakes, alfalfa or bread. It's more likely to be potato chips, ice cream and above all, chocolate. Women go for the sugar/fat combinations and chocolate is 50% fat and 50% sugar."

But why do we have cravings? The reason is due to the oestrogen in our bodies which causes us to crave certain high calorie foods in order to keep our fertility high and our ability to nurture and reproduce strong. After menopause, it has been found, food cravings diminish somewhat.

Because of the oestrogen, sugar/fat cravings tend to be specific to women. Men usually crave meat, eggs or sausage. With high levels of testosterone and little oestrogen - itself made of fat -men crave protein foods rather than fat foods. To them luxury is tucking into a big steak, while women just can't wait to get to the dessert!

It's because of this need to reproduce, therefore, that the woman's body has a survival instinct that says store, store, store, in case of famine or pregnancy. Our bodies also crave certain foods as a way of getting our nutrient needs met.

Blood sugar levels usually play a part in all this and we have cravings to ensure they are kept high. In addition, we have cravings to balance our brain chemical needs. The two main ones are seratonin which makes us feel good, or calms us down, and endorphins which give us a "natural high" or euphoria.

"There are other ways to release endorphins," says Debra Waterhouse. "Exercise is the best one and if you exercise regularly you can increase the endorphins released in the brain by 200 times more than with chocolate alone. And exercise reduces the craving for chocolate by a third. Other alternatives to chocolate that release endorphins are sex, water submersion, meditation, prayer, yoga, mother/infant bonding and breastfeeding." Seratonin can also be obtained by means other than chocolate and the most effective releasant is natural light. Lack of natural light has in fact been shown to cause illnesses like Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).A lack of natural light also prompts us to crave carbohydrate foods and in winter we veer towards bread and butter and cakes. "When seratonin and endorphins are on the low side through stress or infection," advises Waterhouse, "a food craving will emerge. If you fulfil the craving you will feel better."

Cravings, particularly for chocolate, also emerge during the menstrual cycle. During the last two weeks of the cycle, oestrogen levels drop and sugar cravings increase. Around ovulation, on the other hand, endorphins are dramatically released for a couple of days then drop to a very low level. By fulfilling a craving for something sweet you'll help balance these low endorphin levels. At the time of ovulation your sex drive is also likely to increase so that you'll (in nature's view) try to get pregnant and increase the population.

"If you exercise," advises Waterhouse, "you will help increase your endorphins throughout the month and will feel better no matter what stage of your cycle you're at."

After menopause food cravings change and because of the lack of oestrogen in our bodies which is now outnumbered by testosterone, many women find they want to eat more protein.

But releasing seratonins and endorphins are not the only appeal of chocolate. The delicious substance also contains phenylethylamine which is similar to the chemical released when we fall in love. It also has theobromine which acts as an anti-depressant and helps you think straight. In addition it contains magnesium which your body needs. And as if all this were not enough, it even comes in 500 flavours, so it pleasures the body as well as the mind!

Unfortunately while we'd all like to go along with our bodies' cravings for chocolate, we are often restricted by what Waterhouse calls Society's Restrained Eating Rules. These usually tell us:

Abstain from fulfilling food cravings.

Eliminate high sugars and fat foods.

Follow a reduced calorie diet (Studies show that on average men can last indefinitely on a low fat diet, while women can last about 3 l/2 weeks before they jump to a 50% fat diet).

Eat three balanced meals a day with no snacking. This doesn't work so well for women who should eat five meals a day with snacking encouraged. "It keeps your blood sugar up and you'll feel good," says Waterhouse.

During menopause the testosterone women produce causes them to gain weight in the stomach and hips and this helps fortify the calcium deposits on their bones and makes them stronger against osteoporosis. If oestrogen replacement therapy is also used this can increase the fat deposits on the hips and thighs.

When a woman diets it has been found that the storage enzymes actually double so her body becomes more efficient at storing fat. And this is for each diet. In fact the best way to signal to your fat cells to divide and increase is to go on and off diets. The result is that you will lose weight more slowly and gain it more quickly.

Can you lose weight and still eat the chocolate you love so much? The answer, happily, is yes. Waterhouse advises following her "On Plan" to be successful at this.

1) Trusting your cravings may be difficult because we've often been taught not to trust our bodies. "Your body is the expert," says Waterhouse. "It knows what food it needs and at what times during the day. If you deprive your body it will lead to over indulgence and if you tell yourself that eating chocolate, or anything else you want, is bad, you'll only eat around the craving and two hours later you'll find you've eaten 600 calories. The craving for chocolate is not the problem, it's how we deal with the craving that matters."

Part of the effect of trusting your body will be that if your body wants it, it will use it up, i.e. the chocolate will be burned and not go to fat and your brain and other body cells will know you have had it. "If you eat because you're unhappy," cautions Waterhouse, "your body doesn't actually need it.It will go to the brain but the brain doesn't need it so the only place it can go is to the fat cells where it will be stored."

In order to determine whether it's hunger or an emotion you are feeling, ask yourself: "Am I hungry?" (then it's biological hunger), "What am I feeling?" (you could be sad, bored or angry), "Will chocolate really help?" (it may make you feel worse), and "What do I really need?" (perhaps you need to scream, cry or lie down and relax).

2) Knowing your pleasure foods means knowing what makes you feel good. But be aware that it often doesn't take much of a food for it to make you feel good. Did you know, for instance, that only l/2 cup of juice, or l/2 ounce of chocolate, or l/4 cup of ice cream, or l0 potato chips or five jelly beans are all it takes to satisfy a craving?

3) This then leads us into the third step - that of eating for maximum satisfaction. Have the chocolate whenever you want it, but take the time to smell it (or any of your other favourite foods).Your brain will get excited and start to release endorphins. Eat one square but take three bites to do it and this will send signals from the tongue to the brain that will keep it releasing endorphins. By the third bite the stomach has also released cholecystokinin which makes you feel satisfied. "If you focus on the first three bites you will need to eat less of the chocolate to feel satisfied. In fact, you only need to eat three bites of any food to satisfy the craving," says Waterhouse.

4) Distribute your food to maximize your pleasure. This means eating five small meals a day. Eat breakfast, mid-morning snack, lunch, mid-afternoon snack and dinner. "Dinner meals should be smaller because you haven't been depriving your body during the day. You might eat l200 calories between 6pm and 6am but if your body only needs 600 during that time - you will be asleep for some of it - the excess will be stored as fat", says Waterhouse.

5) But what if you find you've indulged in a high fat meal, whether that includes chocolate or some other food? Waterhouse suggests that you stick to the l:3 rule. "If you eat a high fat food in one meal, have three other foods that are low in fat, e.g. you might eat a high fat steak but then balance it will low calorie vegetables, rice and bread without butter. If you have a whole meal that's high in fat, choose three other meals that are low in fat over the next 24 hours."

When you do this and know the secrets of working with your female fat cells, there's no reason why you can't have your chocolate and eat it too! - Asia Features

The best of both worlds

Kate Winslet could barely contain her excitement when she was visited on the set of her latest film by her family. Sweeping her seven-month-old daughter Mia up into her arms, she slipped effortlessly from her role as screen actress to mother as she snatched a few brief but special moments with her loved ones.

Joined by her husband Jim Threapleton, 26, who popped in to see her on location in southwest London during a quick break, 25-year-old Kate carefully put Mia on to the ground and grinned with delight as her daughter took her first tentative steps.

"The three of them then played happy families, nuzzling up to Mia and holding her as she stood up," said an onlooker. "It was quite clear that top of Kate's priorities yesterday was having a few precious moments with her family."

Being able to straddle the two worlds of showbusiness and everyday life is something the Titanic star does well. In fact it's one of the reasons why she's so popular. This most unaffected of actresses has always effortlessly combined star quality with ordinariness. She can "do Hollywood while remaining quintessentially English, seemingly unable to be anything but herself in an industry built on image, Kate struggles with her weight but hates to conform by dieting, swears like a trooper and is more interested in going for a "nice walk" than to London's celebrity hangouts. She even served bangers and mash at her wedding reception and spent her honeymoon in the Scottish Highlands.

The fact that she grew up in the spotlight - her first major film role was at 16 in Heavenly Creatures - yet still manages to be the girl-next-door makes her all the more remarkable. "I really do have a big problem with the film star thing," she once said. "I don't think of me like that and I don't want to."

But Kate is also media savvy. She wears her heart on her sleeve without revealing her soul. She will happily pose for photographs if snapped on the street - "As long as you give them what they want, they love you," she once said of the paparazzi - but won't sacrifice her privacy.

"There is a very fine line between satisfying the public's interest and selling your private life," she said. "My private life would always be the most important thing in the world. If I didn't have that I would just be a commodity."

Since becoming a mother, her boundaries between work and home life have become even more defined. Kate decided when Mia was born last October that she wouldn't take on any long-haul jobs away from home. Her latest film, Iris, based on the life of the late author Iris Murdoch, has been filmed on location in Suffolk and London.

But Kate, who lives in Surrey, still finds the separation from Mia and Jim a difficult one. "It's always hard being away from them, especially if filming takes a long time," she admitted recently. "I really do miss them. In between remembering my lines, I think, 'Did I leave enough food for Mia?"'

This is Kate's first film since the birth of Mia and despite her abhorrence of diets - she calls them "bloody boring" - she has admitted that she had to shed some of the weight she gained during her pregnancy. "I despise myself for it, and feel I'm letting a lot of people down," said the curvaceous actress, who has always refused to follow the Hollywood fashion for thinness. When she was criticised for putting on weight after Titanic, for example, her response was typically blunt. "I thought, well, I'm the youngest person to be nominated for the Academy Awards, and that wasn't for being a skeleton."

But a healthy diet and personal fitness instructor have certainly paid off. Despite the drab floral dress and plain wig she was sporting for Iris, she looks in good shape.

Motherhood certainly agrees with her. "I'm a lot less hectic than I was," she admitted shortly after giving birth. "I've become a much calmer, softer person. I'm becoming more squishy and vulnerable and emotional and I'm sure I'll find it easier to cry on screen."

Having got over the shock of looking after a newborn - "for the first few days we were worried about breaking her," she admitted - Kate is looking forward to having more children. "I want three or four kids. I adore babies and children. I'm determined to become a young mother, because my own experiences of being a child and a teenager will be fresh.

"I want to be able to share that with my children and have more of a friendship as opposed to a parent-child relationship."

Her pregnancy, however, wasn't easy. In the foreword to a book on natural pregnancy she confessed: "Before I was pregnant I thought I knew exactly how I would feel confident, blooming and sexy - the way celebrities are expected to feel. Not a bit of it! Pregnancy turned out to be one of the hardest things I've ever done, physically, mentally and emotionally."

Jim's support throughout was invaluable. He bought her a children's paddling pool to soak her feet in the garden, painted her toenails - she couldn't bend over her bump to do them herself- and found her more sexy than ever. "He can't stand it that I haven't got this great big bump any more," Kate said recently. "When I'd just had Mia I still had a kind of floppy potbelly, and he even loved that. Now it's gone he's bereft. He's one in a million."

She met her "one in a million" husband while filming Hideaus Kinky in Morocco a few years ago. Fate had played a big part in their meeting. After Titanic - which reportedly raised her fee to $3 million a movie - Kate wanted to distance herself as far as possible from Hollywood, fearing she would be swallowed up by its machinery. She turned down Gwyneth Paltrow's role in Shakespeare In Love, which she didn't think would stretch her, and instead went for a smaller, independent project.

On meeting Jim for the first time she says she thought "Well, I'm not going to get through this with my legs crossed". He was a third assistant director (a position marginally better than tea boy) and she was the star. Both ignored the obvious discrepancy in their position and fell headlong in love. "I just knew he was right. I don't know whether it was an animal thing, a chemical thing, or God knows what I think it was a combination of all those things. I just knew he was right for me," she said.

A year later, in November 1998, they were married, and she didn't work for eight months in order to fully enjoy married life. At 23, she was the same age that her mother Sally had been when she married her father Roger. The longevity of their relationship - and the security of an artistic family background - has no doubt contributed to Kate's innate stability and confidence as well as nurtured her talent.

Her grandparents ran the Reading Repertory Theatre and Kate's uncle was Robert Bridges, famous for playing Mr Bumble in the original West End production of Oliver. Her father is also an actor, as are her two sisters, Anna and Beth (her younger brother, Josh, has yet to follow family tradition). At 11, Kate went to Redroofs Theatre School in Maidenhead where she was nicknamed Blubber and mercilessly bullied for being voluptuous. She proved to be more successful than her tormentors when she won her leading role in Heavenly Creatures at 16.

Despite her success, Kate admits she would have some reservations if Mia chose to follow in her footsteps. "If our child wants to be an actor, my advice will be, do it because you love it, and for no other reason."

With two Oscar nominations behind her (the first was for Sense and Sensibility, the second for Titanic), Kate has the luxury to pick and choose the films she loves. And although she admits to the occasional insecurity - "I am not always so confident. I have my dark moments" - she now has her family to help keep her be strong.

"I've got Mia and I've got Jim," she said recently "and I know who I am."

Before filming moved to London, Kate shot scenes of Iris at the beach in Southwold, Suffolk, (left and above) while her husband stayed at a hotel nearby. Her movie co-stars are Dame Judi Dench (below), who plays the older Iris Murdoch, and Hugh Bonneville (right), who plays the writer's husband John Bayley. Kate said she was inspired by Iris and John's long-standing relationship. "They seemed to have their own magical, untouchable world. It's what I want, and intend to have with Jim," she's reported to have said.

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