Remember, higher the rise harder the fall

By the time you read this, Satellite would have returned and you would have reverted to your Pee Em post, but nevertheless congratulations on your promotion to the "Acting" post, even though that is what most of you do most of the time!

But Ratne, I think you should still get a good 'thovile' done for 'es waha' and 'kata waha'. Just imagine how jealous the General, the Professor and Seeni Bola must be for bypassing them and appointing you as the acting chief executive, even though it would be for just a few days!

Anyway Ratne, what is all this talk about confidence and no confidence? Why are you suddenly reassuring all of us that five greens are in your pocket and that the government will not fall, come what may? You know, it makes us all wonder whether you seem to have lost confidence in your ability to hold on to the reins of power.

And they tell me that you even held talks with the reds! Gosh, just what did you talk about- was it regarding organizing the next exhibition depicting red atrocities committed a dozen years ago? Or was it about how the police could disrupt the next red campaign as they did at the last election? And what did the reds ask in return for their support? Of course, whatever it was you could always give them the cabinet posts rendered vacant by Rauf's sacking!

If you want my advice, Ratne, it is dangerous to deal with those red fellows. They are talking to the greens at the same time and they can easily double cross you. It would be far better for you to charm some greens into your camp with the offer of a cabinet post- that would be a much easier task!

But before all that, Ratne, you must be careful about your own ranks. What we hear is that some rats are trying to desert the ship because they feel it is sinking. And the greens, it appears are promising them the sun, moon and stars in return for their support. So, before you woo the reds, Ratne, it would be wise to get undated letters of resignation from your own kind like good old JR did.

Anyway Ratne, I also heard that you have called for bigger families saying that it will help find soldiers for the war. Pardon me, Ratne, but children born now can become soldiers only in about twenty years time- so, do you expect the war to drag on for that long? By that time you will be pushing ninety and Velu himself will be past the retirement age of sixty-five! And, does it mean that we have to pay the defence levy for another twenty long years?

Anyway Ratne, be careful. Now that Satellite has firmly indicated that you are the next in line for the job, a lot of people will be jealous of you. And, by the way, do convey my greetings to Satellite on her fifty-sixth birthday, though of course, most people will now think again before wishing her "Many Happy Returns"!

Yours truly, 
Punchi Putha

PS- I have heard that they asked the astrologers who will lead the country next and they said it will be RW. Most people think they are referring to you but then again the greens seem to be having other ideas!

Rajpal Abeynayake's Column

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