The last days of sanity

By Fuzzy

"So do you need me to talk to you about exams?" asks the tutor with a compassionate smile. "Is anybody stressed, feeling like they want to drop their course?" Nobody answers in any intelligible language, but a communal groan issues forth from tiredly bent heads and scribbling, fidgeting hands. The chances are that by this time, almost everyone in class had considered, many times over, such options as dropping the course or contracting typhoid within the next fortnight.

And it did not bode well that nearly half the class was missing; they might have actually seen some feasibility in such options. For who would miss the last tutorial for the semester, just before the exams, unless you planned to play 'Missing' during the exam-fortnight? I mean, there's always the remote chance that the tutor might make some useful predictions on the exam paper - the chances of this happening were as remote as Timbuktu, but hey, hope should spring eternal in every self-respecting first-year student's breast. Especially when it comes to exams.

Exams. Now to tell you the truth (though that nearly cost me my life several times) the prospect of exams did not resemble Armageddon to me for the simple reason that I had only two exams for four subjects. And they happened to be fairly trivial affairs compared to the truckload of assignments, essays and reading I had to wade through during the semester. So naturally I assumed I deserved the early vacation, although of course I maintained ferociously that I too had as much studying to do as anyone else.

But such assertions were futile in the face that my dear cousin, who, as a natural result of having chosen a medical science course, had ten exams during the course of two weeks. Imaginably, my presence in the house merely amplified her deep rage against the inequalities of the world.

Studying for exams isn't easy when other urgent things pop up from nowhere. Like answering the phone. We sit down planning to study for four hours, and her phone rings with a frequency of five minutes and certain conversations last for two to three hours. And some of these calls are much too vital to not be answered while glancing at Pharmacology or Histology. For example, when the ex-boyfriend of your best friend rings you up just to say hi, then understandably you have to take some time off from the said subjects to ponder the mystery of What's He Up To Now, in the study of Ulterior Motives.

The next phone-call happens to be equally critical. It is a good friend of hers who wants her to ring up his ex-girlfriend and tell her, to ring him. There is good deal of tearing of hair going on now, and the task is not easily accomplished because the wise ex has switched her mobile off and is not answering the home phone.

Scenarios such as these and worse take place quite often and by now I'm quite adept at taking in the action while deeply engrossed in my reading. Finally she has convinced the twin of the said good friend to convince him that, obviously, the ex doesn't want to talk to his brother. Then she thrusts her face at me with a wild hiss, eyes like the legendary peeled grapes.

"Today is a weird day (hiss), is something happening today? What's happening today?????!!!!"

This is not exactly comforting when I happen to look up from pursuing the career of Mr Hyde in the dark streets of London for my English course. It takes sometime to regain my composure. Then the phone rings again.

This time it happens to be a friend who just wants to say hi and she asks my cousin how I'm doing. I am extremely grateful for this sweet gesture, and there's no doubt that nothing but good intentions were behind that query. But sadly, as we know, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and other people's good intentions are the ones that take you there. My cousin's voice drops to a tone that signifies nothing but danger. With a glance bursting with derision in my direction she growls into the phone.

"She has two exams. Two. Exams. TWO EXAMS!! And one of them is a darned Multiple Choice Questions for one hour. The other one is only two hours. ONE HOUR AND TWO HOURS!!!!!"

I tell her that I'm glad she remembers my exam particulars so well but that she needn't bother others with such mundane information. I swear she snarled when I said it. Seems like I don't need to see the video of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde to see what Mr.Hyde would look like. The female version in real life is much better, actually.

The rest of the two hours passes uneventfully except for murderous intentions uttered from time to time against lecturers, text-book writers and life in general. All is calm and serene when suddenly her chair flies backwards angrily. I ask no questions, and with only a curt glance get back to Mr Hyde. I can hear cupboards opening and bags rustling and look up only when the room suspiciously goes silent.

Know the feeling when you've opened a Coke in a bus and the froth is spilling over and it's too late to put the lid back on? Well, that moment I felt a great affinity to that bottle of Coke, trying to put the lid back on my laughter. It was an image worth the cover of 'Life' magazine. My dear cousin was strutting around on her three inch heels, with her pyjama bottom rolled up to her knees, wearing an utterly despondent look on her face, obviously trying to relive the moments of a once upon a time night out. I even have a title for that picture; "university student reliving the last sane moments of her life'.

Ailing Ryder drops out of film

An unspecified "stomach bug" has sidelined Winona Ryder, whose role in the Indie Lily and the Secret Planting must now be recast, the film's London production office confirmed to today.

The British press had already been buzzing about the actress's "mystery illness," after she was reportedly rushed to a private London hospital for a battery of tests.

In a joint statement from the actress and the film's production office, producer Sarah Radclyffe says, "We are obviously very disappointed. Winona has been so passionate about this project, and we wish her all the best."

The statement confirms Ryder's hospitalization in London and noted that although she has since been released, the "anticipated recovery period would preclude her continued involvement" with the film.

Ryder also expressed her disappointment, saying, "I fell in love with this script as soon as I read it, and was really looking forward to working with [director] Hettie Macdonald. I hope to find an opportunity to work with them in the future." Ryder was to have played the title role of Lily, a claustrophobic London girl who finds romance through gardening, opposite Mexican actor Gael Garcia Bernal, of the Oscar-nominated film Amores Perros.

Britain's The Sun reports that at Ryder's last public appearance, at the London post-premiere party for Planet of the Apes, she looked "shaky and nervous [and] was sweating profusely as she chain-smoked in a corner of the party's VIP section all evening."

An unidentified "friend" told The Sun, "We are all concerned about her health. She has been pretty secretive about what is wrong with her. … She has been feeling ill for some time and she needs to slow down and think about her health."

Ill health also forced the delicate actress to bow out of 1990's The Godfather, Part III. That recasting went down in movie history after director Francis Ford Coppola chose his inexperienced daughter, Sofia, to take Ryder's place in his crime saga.

While doing press for the mental-institution drama 'Girl Interrupted' Ryder revealed that she had her own brief stay in an institution after breaking up with beau Johnny Depp. "I was working constantly. I didn't take any time off. When I did, I was really stressed out. … I really thought I was losing my mind. I became a terrible insomniac," she told Vogue in a 1999 cover story.

Two's musical company

By Ruhanie Perera

A simple question, 'Are you DJ Tareeq?' is one that started off a lasting alliance. Some years ago Iraj Weeraratne was an impressionable teen and Tareeq Musafer was his favourite DJ. Meeting the person he felt was doing the best show in town was certainly a thrilling experience for Iraj. Today the alliance has grown into an understanding that sees the two of them launching some novel projects that will hopefully enhance Sri Lanka's music culture.

Iraj Weeraratne started playing the keyboards at the age of eight and joined Shyama Perera of the Academy of Organ Music. Through her guidance he won the all island keyboard championship in 97 and 98. In 1994 he laid hands on his first synthesizer - a Yamaha and that was when the producer in him was born.

"It was more fun to produce tracks, using a sequencer, drum kits and tones," says Iraj who then started producing tracks for local rap acts and solo artistes. One of the more successful tracks he produced at the time was for local rapper Rookie D of Sun FM.

His latest toy is a KORG Triton complete with an AKAI S5000 digital sampler, which he introduces me to, saying it's the best piece of equipment in the world. For the equipment hazy me, Iraj explains (with a smile) that what he's got is pretty much the same stuff that Artful Dodger and the like are playing their tunes on. So at the moment this is "as good as it gets".

Tareeq Musafer, who is an audio engineer, worked the Australian club circuit for nearly seven years while working part time at Fox fm's production studio. On returning to Sri Lanka he worked at TNL Radio for two years and then went on to open his own production house - 'Tareeq's Audio Productions'. So in addition to being a DJ, he also produces radio spots, jingles, sound effects and music tracks for plays (his current projects in this field being for two plays coming up in September, The Last Elephant and 'Compleat Wrks of Wilm Shakspir'.)

The Iraj-Tareeq projects include working on an album (mainly club tunes) similar to UK garage music and progressive house. But in their case they keep it different to the usual stuff churned out by the industry by keeping the music slightly eastern with the use of ethnic vocal samples and certain eastern instruments. They've also completed their first hip hop mega mix called 'Frisky' the monster mix that reached the No:1 spot on the Sun FM dance charts.

Their main project together, which has got them extremely excited, is to produce songs for local artistes, where Iraj - the composer in the team will produce the music by taking audio samples, which are specific pieces of music, copying it into the sampler, editing it on his laptop and then playing the finished work back. Then the final recording of the song would be done at Tareeq's studio where he would also "colour" the song, like an artist would perfect a painting. Tareeq explains the process in a computer technology analogy by saying: "Iraj would be the software part of the programme and my part is to act like the computer hardware". Their finished product promises perfection as a result of their joint input springing from their different diverse experiences.

The artiste would be with them at every point insist the team emphasising that at the end of the day it really is the artiste's song. Says Tareeq: "Many artistes have their song in their heads, we just take that tune and help them bring out a song." Already this music-making duo has completed music tracks for Mignone Fernando, Bathiya and Shalika Marker.

Iraj, who hopes to participate in the world music festival next year, has a lot more planned for Sri Lankan music. Someday he's going to set up his own studio and continue in this line on a much larger scale. "There's a lot of talent in Sri Lanka, in the hip hop field, but there are no producers who'll take them on and do it for a relatively reasonable cost, using an international standard of music," he says.

His intention is to start off a thriving R'n'B, hip-hop culture. Why? "I like that type of music," he says simply adding that it's a field he's been involved with and dabbling in for some time, having produced music for about six years now in addition to starting out as a hip-hop artiste (on a smaller scale) when he was just 14 years.

Explains Iraj: "It's the style of hip-hop music that makes it so catchy, especially the way in which the rap blends in." Adds Tareeq: "In fact this is probably the only kind of music which allows the artiste to be most creative - especially where the sound effects are concerned."

"What's different in Sri Lanka is that our artistes have a unique style, which could be called a very Sri Lankan flavour, unfortunately our own people don't seem to appreciate this unique individual style," says Iraj adding that on the international scene it is this uniqueness that would give our artistes one of a kind status. "What's the purpose of copying Snoop Dog? After all no record company wants another Snoop Dog when they've already got one."

Why is Iraj a producer and not a musician, one wonders? "In the hip-hop circuit, there are no real musicians; the musician plays a producer role. Hip-hop is a genre of music that expressed a culture. To make a hip hop song you just need a beat, a bass line and a sample of keyboard music - the need for a guitarist or a drummer is eliminated." So in effect what he does is to take isolated creations of music, put it together and then pad it up with extra effects. And of course at the point of the final 'perfect' recording, Tareeq comes in to do his thing, flavouring it with his own distinct effects.

They're an effective team. They admit that they each always lacked the influence of the other in their work. Now with their combination of talent and experience the sky's the limit.

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