Unearthed, uncovered and unsheathed

The authorities have released yet another photograph of one of the members of the notorious Stagefright&Panic theatre group, which remains undeterred in its plan to render unto reality, the Compleat works of William Shakespeare (in two hours!). The photograph of the alleged perpetrator shown here is believed to be that of Ferozeshah Kamardeen, more affectionately knows as Feroze. However, he is also known as le directeur, ye crappy pool-player and Nana. He is believed to be the mastermind behind the crazy plans of Stagefright & Panic Inc. His haunts are believed to be the Lionel Wendt, Liberty Plaza (after 9 p.m.), the Library, The Pot Luck Pool Café and certain areas of Nugegoda (since of late). 

The authorities firmly believe that Feroze is bent on disseminating the Bard completely. His blatant attempts at achieving this unsavoury goal, prior to the Compleat Wrks of Wllm Shkspr, include Macbeth and Julius Caesar. Informed sources indicate that Feroze's further plans to get the bird on the bard includes "Hamlet - Pigs in Space", in the near future. Feroze's productions are marked by the characteristic need for smoke, which the numerous psychologists who have analyzed him over the years believe, is a manifestation of a deeper need to be consumed by flames. He has been caught on numerous occasions, during the current production attempting to smuggle in smoke machines. His dream remains to one day own his personal smoke machine and to set the Lionel Wendt on fire during a production. 

Experts also claim that his need to disseminate the works of William Shakespeare springs from an ingrained belief that Shakespeare's plays were actually written by Elvis Presley. 

Details of Feroze's school career remain hazy, as nearly all of his teachers, who are now in therapy, following nervous breakdowns, cannot recall Feroze (in fact doctors have advised them not to do so, for fear it might trigger a complete breakdown). In fact most of his friends cannot provide adequate details of his school career either, as most of them remain psychologically scarred for life. Although, Feroze claims that he is still in his twenties, details unearthed from D.S. Senanayake College indicate that he is actually forty. Although Feroze has not set foot inside a University, he was conferred a honourary degree from The Institute of Advanced Cradle-Snatchers, taking into consideration his untiring efforts in that particular field of study. Feroze had to beat a hasty retreat to Bangladesh last year after the authorities got a bit too close for comfort, and it is assumed that he entered the country under a false name. 

His much talked about pool playing abilities stand testimony to the triumph of hope and luck over sheer skill. Feroze will always be remembered by crappy pool players as the pioneer of the best crappy pool playing technique ever - Hit Hard and Look Around. 

Feroze's claim to being a director and actor of repute is ill founded; in fact the only time that he ever gets to act in a play is when he is directing it. Most actors find it almost impossible to act with him on stage due to the rather overbearing presence of his inflated ego. This would explain why, although Feroze considers himself to be a brilliant director, most of the 28 people who turn up to watch his plays are his close relatives. 

Stagefright&Panic's attempt to perform The Compleat Wrks of Wllm Shkspr, is sponsored by Dialog GSM, while the official radio station is Yes FM, and costumes are designed by Sonali White of the Haddai label. The Sunday Times, is the official newspaper for this play. 

Aaliyah killed in plane crash

The singer, whose full name was Aaliyah Haughton, was on her way home to the United States after completing filming of a music video in the Abaco islands, which are about 170 miles east of south Florida. In 1994, the then-15-year-old R&B sensation sold a million copies of her debut album 'Age Ain't Nothing But a Number'. She received a 1999 Grammy nod for the song 'Are You That Somebody?' from the Dr. Dolittle soundtrack. She made her film debut last year opposite martial arts star Jet Li in Romeo Must Die and the single. 'Try Again' from the film's soundtrack earned her another Grammy nomination for best female R&B vocalist this year. 

Just last month she released her third album, Aaliyah, and one of her latest projects was to have been an appearance in a sequel to the cult movie The Matrix. She had already wrapped work on the upcoming Anne Rice vampire film Queen of the Damned. 

The plane lifted off, climbed steeply into the air, then shortly after it banked to the left and ditched into the bushes," said Leland Russell, assistant superintendent of the Abaco police. 

"On impact the plane burst into flames. Some of the persons on board were badly burned," he said. 

Seven people, including Aaliyah, were declared dead at the scene and two others who survived with severe burns died later, Brian Bachman, public affairs officer at the U.S. embassy, told Reuters. 

He said preliminary police reports said the Cessna apparently suffered engine failure as it took off for Miami, but it was not yet known what caused this. 

The Cessna, a charter flight operated by a Florida company, crashed about 200 feet from the end of the runway. It was headed for Opa-Locka, an airport on the outskirts of Miami. Rescue workers were able to get quickly to the scene, but the plane was a "total wreckage," said Russell. 

Russell said local police and the Bahamas Civil Aviation authority were investigating the crash. 

Aaliyah was born in Brooklyn but moved to Detroit when she was five. More recently she has lived in New York. She began performing at an early age, and by the time she was 11, she was singing on stage in Las Vegas with the legendary Gladys Knight troupe. 

After her teenage album success in 1994, Aaliyah embarked on a tour that took her to Europe, Japan, and South Africa. The young star raised eyebrows when news leaked out that she had reportedly married her music mentor, R. Kelly, when she was just 15. The marriage was later anulled. 

Her second album, One in a Million, was released in 1996. The rising singer really broke out in 2000, with her role in Romeo Must Die and with two hit songs from the film's soundtrack. On hearing of her death, producer Quincy Jones told The Associated Press, "She was like one of my daughters, she was one of the sweetest girls in the world. … I loved her and respected her and I am absolutely devastated." 

Point noted

This is an observation, not a judgement. In New York City this summer, there is a single, unifying characteristic among women: They are all wearing mules. The backless shoe began to grow in popularity several seasons ago and now is worn by everyone. The style cuts across age, economics, body type, race and heel height preference. There is a mule for every woman. 

Most startling, however, the shoe is not only worn during a woman's down time - when she's moving slowly and it doesn't matter that the only thing holding her shoe to her foot is a set of exquisitely clenched toes - but also for work. 

Mules and briefcases now accessorise the same ensembles. Mules, and their more casual, low-heeled cousin, the slide, have enjoyed spectacular sales. 

At Barneys New York, the slide is the top-selling shoe style. At Neiman Marcus in Washington, the most popular shoes are the "bare and sexy mules," says a spokeswoman. Customers are reportedly coming in sporting Kate Spade mules and waking out with bags of pointy-toed mules, the sort that look smashing with pant suits. 

Over the last few years, the essence of fashion has been shoes and handbags. Today, a woman can be dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, but if she's got the right shoes and handbag, she wears an easy shorthand that identifies her as fashion-conscious and one of the people who sets the agenda. She may wear a navy suit to the office, but if one discovers a pair of lizard mules on her feet, there's something buzzing behind that undistinguished facade. 

Not so in D.C. For several seasons now, when women decide to wear heel-baring footwear to the office, they've chosen a sturdy slide with a substantial platform heel somewhere in the vicinity of two inches. 

To be sure, there are other shoe styles: Pumps, loafers, the occasional sling-back. But that chunky slide is as ubiquitous in Washington offices as the mule is in New York.

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