Designing man enters Guinness Book

I thought I must write to you after your resignation as a Minister last week- I believe you have entered the Guinness Book of world records for holding a ministerial portfolio for the shortest period of time!

There you were on Friday, proudly being sworn in as the Minister of Urban Development, Public Utilities, Housing and Sports and also as the Deputy Minister of Finance and Planning and then just a few hours later they announce that you had resigned to make way for that Jeyaraj chap, because the reds with whom you reached an agreement a few days ago insist on the size of the Cabinet remaining at twenty.

Of course, in the intervening few hours you had occasion to attend a few functions and say that you would revolutionize sport- which made your sudden resignation appear rather silly.

Anyway, Avamangala, a lot of "ordinary" people welcome this limit on the size of the Cabinet, even though the condition was imposed by the reds and they are sticking to their guns and saying twenty means twenty and not twenty one or twenty two. In fact, most of them believe it serves Satellite right for having the world's largest cabinet with forty four ministers-now she has to pay dearly for those excesses.

Even then, you must be congratulated on your appointment as Deputy Minister of Finance. I am sure you will be called upon to read out the next Budget in Parliament in a few months but don't claim that the Budget is yours- the Professor did that and we all know Satellite's thoughts about that.

But Avamangala, both you and Satellite must surely realize that this business of dancing to the reds' tune cannot go on for long. You must resign when they say resign, stop the war when they order you and even reduce the price of milk food when they ask you to do that- the only thing that they are not asking you to do is wear shorts and skirts, and you would have to do that too if they ordered you to!

So, Avamangala, I get this feeling that though your agreement with the reds is for one year, it won't last that long. Satellite is not the type to take marching orders from the likes of Wimal sahodaraya and before long I guess she would dissolve the House and call for elections, so that you can have all your portfolios back. Isn't that the plan, Avamangala?

I know you must be saddened by the loss of your Cabinet post but you must spare a thought for your friend Seeni Bola. The man had designs of becoming the Pee Em but now he is just an Em Pee. But I do believe that Satellite is making a mistake in sacking him because as we all know, without his "co-operation" and "strategies" you wouldn't have won the last election. So, with him on the other side, how are you planning to win the next poll? Think about it, will you?

Yours truly, Punchi Putha.

PS- You may have created another world record by being the first fashion designer to become a Deputy Finance Minister. But then, making fashions and budgets involve the same principle- stretching the minimum of resources to safeguard your interests while at the same time ensuring that the vital statistics remain attractive! 

The Jungle Telegraph

Editorial/ Opinion Contents