From 'magul kapuwa' to Internet matches

A respectable and well-disciplined person aged 30, drawing a monthly salary of Rs. 100 seeks a girl of any caste, for marriage. A poor family preferred. No dowry expected, but the girl should be beautiful, well-behaved and have a reasonable knowledge of Sinhala.

This advertisement appeared 56 years ago in January 1945, in 'Sinhala Balaya', a Sinhala newspaper edited and published by reputed journalist/novelist Piyadasa Sirisena. It was the first matrimonial advertisement published in a local newspaper. Replies had to be sent C/o Sinhala Balaya, Hulftsdorp Street, Colombo.

The newspaper also carried advertisements inserted by professional matchmakers calling for proposals from prospective brides/bridegrooms. This one appeared in February 1946: "I can introduce a suitable partner for you. Please send in your particulars such as caste, dowry, and other details along with a payment of Rs. 1 for postal charges. I shall arrange an introduction for the eligible parties within two weeks. All letters are treated in strict confidence."

The name and address of the matchmaker were mentioned.

All this and more are included in an exhaustive study on how marriages are arranged in our country, by Dr. Nandana Karunanayake, media researcher in his publication titled 'Changing Patterns of Marriage in Sri Lanka'. The role of newspapers in finding partners is the core of the writer's study, and he details how the institution of marriage has undergone radical changes during the last 50 years. 

The role of the matchmaker, for instance, has declined due to the increasing number of marriages through love affairs. Meanwhile, those who have delayed getting married, now have the option of advertising for partners in the newspapers themselves. 

"The ubiquitous influence of parents in arranging marriages has diminished, paving the way for a more democratic and participatory process with the active involvement of sons and daughters," the writer observes.

Dr. Karunanayake sums up the situation thus: "In mate selection, the focus of attention has shifted from the family to the individual. The rigid variables like caste, ethnicity, religion and family background have adapted themselves to the pressures of a market economy. The dowry system too has undergone dramatic changes. The place of the magul kapuwa (traditional matchmaker) has been taken over by the medium of matrimonial advertisements in newspapers and on the Internet."

Discussing the history of marriage patterns, he describes how as the economy faced the transition from the feudal to the capitalist, marriage practices such as polyandry and cross-cousin marriages lost their value in society. The marriage alliance was considered to be the best strategy to bolster wealth and elite status. Invariably, fathers opted to search for marriage partners for their offspring outside their group. This goal was achieved through the matchmaker. 

Dr. Karunanayake profiles the matchmaker: "The matchmaker was, more or less, a rustic salesman working in a group of 20 or more neighbouring villages. He was a distinguished and popular character in the village. His sarong, shirt and black coat and the black umbrella comprised his conventional costume. He was jovial, garrulous and filled with good humour. His fees generally came at the end of the deal. If the marriage took place, he was usually paid by the boy's party or by both parties. The fee was normally directly proportional to the dowry involved in the transaction. He gradually became an institution and the accepted norm, particularly among the middle class."

Tracing the history of newspaper marriage advertisements, the writer refers to the free reader service started by 'Rividina/Riviresa' of the Sun Group in 1962. Since it became extremely popular, the newspaper made it a fee-levying service. The newspaper also published, free of charge, the photographs of couples who had married through their service. The sister Sunday paper, 'Weekend Sun' gave the lead in publishing marriage advertisements in English. Today, all weekend papers devote several columns to matrimonial ads. 

The study has revealed that advertisers are mainly from the middle class, are economically stable and enjoy reasonable social status. Much importance is placed on the economic and financial stability of the prospective mates. A permanent income through a job, self-employment or otherwise is the primary factor when selecting a partner. It is still wealth, health and beauty that determine the matrimonial opportunities of women while 'professional qualifications' seem to be the most sought after requirement for men. A pleasing personality, excellent moral character and sound educational background are added qualifications for females. Handsome, well-qualified, well-connected, kind-hearted males with sober habits are sought after as ideal marriage partners. 

Dowry takes precedence over caste and religion. There are instances where foreign employment and citizenship are guaranteed as part of the dowry. 

Another significant aspect, which the writer says deserves attention, is the obvious exaggeration employed by the parents to capture the attention of the reader. 'Highly connected families', 'Brides with highly qualified brothers and sisters' and 'Girls pretty enough to be film stars' being a few illustrations.

Referring to marriage bureaus, the writer found more than ten major agencies in operation. There are hundreds of one-man operations with or without computers. The first computer-aided matchmaking agency commenced in the early 1980s. 

He also found a new genre of personal advertisements, confined to English newspapers, inviting men and women for companionship and consensual union. This may possibly be an influence from the west, he feels. 

As to the impact of newspaper matrimonial advertisements, Dr. Karunanayake adds that they have offered a more efficient and economical way of finding partners for those who consider traditional as well as modern attributes when contracting a marriage bond. They project the changing values of marriage practices of middle class and upper middle class Sri Lankans. 

"The study has vividly shown that despite the evolution of the institution of marriage for centuries, people still doggedly stick to traditional characteristics associated with it: caste, race, religion, horoscope, and transfer of property from one generation to the other or its manifold forms of implicit and explicit transactions when marriage contracts are entered into," he concludes.

-Ranat