A confused Chandadaayakaya and conspiracies

I thought of writing to you because you will be called upon to make a significant decision in three days _ a decision which you will be making for the third time within three years.

Chandadaayaka, I won't be surprised if you are more than a little confused about what has been going on over the last few weeks. After all, every party is pledging itself to the principle of non-violence and a free and fair election but over one thousand and five hundred incidents have been reported including a dozen deaths and you must be wondering whether all those avanka, pirisindu, edithara candidates smiling at us from posters on the walls are responsible for all this.

Chandadaayaka, you must have now realized that it is your duty to try and remember who is on which side. Everyone who is anyone seems to have crossed over and just by listening to them it's difficult to say which side they are on because all of them utter the same lies.

Then, Chandadaayaka, I won't blame you if you have now become sick of conspiracy theories, the most famous of which is that the elephants have struck a deal with the Tigers. These conspiracy theories get better by the day because this week we heard Avamangala declaring that sending Gas Labu to the blue camp seven years ago was a green conspiracy. Well, what I am really suspicious is whether sending Mallo back to the blue camp was a green conspiracy or not! And another 'conspiracy' that I have my doubts is whether the greens sent back Somawansa to the red camp, just to put off potential voters!

Chandadaayaka, I won't also blame you if you think that the Mahanayakes in Kandy _ and not the Commissioner of Elections in Colombo _ is conducting this poll. Why, everybody is running to the Mahanayakes these days, not with atapirikara, but with cassettes and complaints of election violence in Hambantota, you must be wondering whether the most reverend sirs have formed a team of election monitors.

Of course, Chandadaayaka, by now you must also be sick of all those advertisements and talk-shows on television, promising the sun and moon and interrupting even the cricket matches. Whoever wins the polls, one good thing that will come about is that these talk-shows and advertisements will have to come to an end!

Anyway Chandadaayaka, I hope all this will not deter you from performing your duty on Wednesday. Despite all the dooshanaya and beeshanaya that is going on, our politicians are still afraid of you and your little cross. So, do your duty and do it early without allowing someone else to do it for you. That is the only weapon we chandadaayakayas have and it is up to us to use it wisely. All I can ask you is to do it in such a manner that you will not have to do it again next year!

Yours truly, 

Punchi Putha.

PS: If you are thinking of marking the manaape, just check to make sure that your candidate has not decamped to the other side. At the rate these things happen, I won't be surprised to see Satellite in a green saree on Thursday!