Sange's Ice Breaker
Old fellow is doing just fine
"Your marriage won't work" warned a friend to his eighty year old friend
who had just married a young vivacious teenager.
"The age difference will come between the two of you and a separation
is inevitable!"
Somewhat disturbed the ole boy enquired "What should I do ?"
"When you return from your honeymoon advertise for a boarder. It'll
help!"
The suggestion sounded good and the ole boy did exactly what his friend
suggested.
A month later the friend visited the ole boy and inquired about the
bride.
"She's fine and expecting!" the old buck replied.
"And how is that boarder of your's ?" asked the pal "Wonderful ... and
she's expecting too!"
Gunning for the master
The lady of the house had grave suspicions that one of her two sons was
paying attention to the young and pretty shapely maid.
Anxious to find out which one, she said to the girl "Quincy, suppose
you were given the choice of a night out with one of my sons, which would
you prefer ?"
"Well" replied Quincy. "It's really hard to say lady, for I've had some
grand times with both of them. But for a real rollicking spree, give me
the master !"
Running around with the Doctor's wife
"I am warning you" mumbled the doctor as he was glancing through the test
results "that you won't live long if you don't stop running around with
women".
"What do you mean doctor?" laughed the man "I am in great physical shape.
It must be something else". "Yes, I know about the great physical shape
you are in" snapped the doctor, pointing a knife at him "That's the reason
for my warning.
One of the women happens to be my wife".
She is very much alive
Census Clerk: "How come madam, you have a child of one year and another
of three and yet you say that your husband has been dead for six years?"
Madam: "Yes, but I am alive, ain't I?".
She was lying
Willie: "Why do you say your wife is a liar and unfaithful?"
Freddie: "She said she spent the night with her friend Alice when she
came home in the early hours of the morning"
Willie: "Well, how do you know she was lying?"
Freddie: "Because I spent the night with Alice!"
Returns to the sender
A small post office in a Middle East desert town returned a letter to the
sender with the remark: "Addressee dead over a year. Left no forwarding
address".
Animals are crowd pullers
Animals are crowd pullers and therefore superior to human beings. There
are thirty horses running in a race and fifty thousand people go to see
it. But put thirty people in a race and not one horse will go to see it!!
House on fire
Two drunks were driving furiously, late at night, along a road that ran
side by side with a mainline railroad track. Suddenly an express train,
dark except for the engine whizzed past them, going in the opposite direction.
"Shay" said one of the men in the car "did you see that little town
we just went through?" "Yeah" replied his companion.
"You know something? I think that first house was on fire".
This column has been designed for your reading pleasure and relaxation.
If you have stories to be published do send them in to Sange's Ice
Breaker
C/o The Sunday Times, 8 Hunupitiya Cross Road, Colombo 2. |
