My life's a
tall story
By Roo
Okay, so I'm comparatively tall. Not so that I can enter the Guinness
Book of Records but just a bit tall. That's a good thing right?
Wrong!
When I was a
kid it was lovely being tall, for no one would beat you up, you
were never at the receiving end of 'shorty' jokes and no one ever
basically bothered with me. I was the tall kid who knew what it
was like to be up there and hang out with the big children. But
as I grew older being tall was no more a wonderful situation; it
became a 'predicament'.
School sports
meets, remember those? Truthfully speaking I was never much of an
athlete - but since I was 'tall' I was considered the next Susanthika
in the making! Seriously though, there is not one track event I
was not a part of, High Jump, Long Jump, Hurdles (Ugh, I hated those)
you name it I've tried it! So did you excel in anything you ask?
And I say a vehement 'NO!'
I still remember
the Captain of my house saying, "But you have such long legs,
you should be able to jump at least two feet!" or even "Why
don't you try your hands at netball - I'm sure your hands will reach
right up to the basket!" And then at swimming, "Now, you
see when you stretch your hands like so, you would definitely be
able to touch the finish line (or whatever those swimmers call it)
way before the others!" Stuff and nonsense I would mutter to
myself. I took ten minutes to swim a length and they took less than
two!
The defeatist
attitude didn't do much good; I tried and failed for their benefit.
But they'd only say, "Why don't you try tomorrow, maybe your
long legs are tired today!" So I took on a new approach, I
started bandaging my ankles - and then they'd say, "You poor
thing, rest and come back in two days, okay?"
I gave up and
decided that, Short is the way to go! So while my shorty friends
tried hanging on doors to grow tall I started crouching next to
them! It didn't help. I was still the tall kid for my classmates
were still a foot shorter and therefore nicknamed 'the Outcast'!
Adding to all
my problems was the fact that my best friend was the shortest kid
in class. She was a good soul who never said anything about my height.
And then came those dreaded nicknames - Laurel and Hardy! My dear
sensitive friend was heartbroken and soon started (you guessed right)
going for physiotherapy. That only succeeded in putting a great
big dent in her wallet!
Then came the
time that a cat got stuck in a rain gutter! I the outcast soon turned
into superwoman. I can almost still hear the chants as I clambered
on to a teacher's desk and then onto a chair that was placed precariously
on it and stretched my arms to save that kitten and fell! (Kitten
and all, of course!) Ah the cheers. I was badly bruised but feeling
jubilant. And then I noticed it - The wretched cat had scraped my
long arms left, right and centre. I ran as fast as my long legs
would carry me to the sickroom and was informed that I needed a
shot! Never again have I clambered to rescue felines in distress!
As we grew older,
I realised once again that maybe being tall was really not that
bad. Since every one kept telling me that I was the lucky one -
I had the height! We soon reached the age where we would start going
out together. Then came the bomb - for each evening about an hour
before we were to meet I would get THE call, informing me politely
but firmly NOT to wear a pair of heels and to opt instead for flats!
I was heartbroken but there is little that one can do in such instances.
Therefore I have never ever had the pleasure of wearing a pair of
shoes with a heel of more than an inch! Life can sometimes be so
unfair!
What about clothes?
I'm sure many of the tall kind will agree with me when I say that
our darling country caters only to the short kind. Imagine this
scenario - you go into a shop and find the ideal pair of trousers
and excitedly ask for one in your size. You go into a dressing room
to try it on and oh it's three inches above your ankles! There is
no hope! The neighborhood tailor seems to be the only one who understands
my predicament.
Remember the
time that three quarter length clothing became the fad? But when
I tried on those delectable looking skirts they measured exactly
a quarter length less! Oh life!
Curtains, are another aspect of life that scare the living daylights
out of me. Short people will not understand this feeling. It arises
when people wait for you to visit to put up their curtains! There
must be something against this in a book of manners and etiquette
somewhere.
There are wonderful
things about being tall too. You see life from a different height
and perspective, people try not to torment you, ringing a bell in
a bus is a breeze and well, it's just plain nice. But I wish us
tall people weren't discriminated and exploited so. And that modern
science could come up with an instant 'grow tall, grow short pill'
so I could change my height according to a said situation. It would
make life so much easier!
That's it folks,
I hear the call to put up a few more curtains!
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