Creating that
all- important first impression...
By
Ishani Ranasinghe
You walk into a room to meet someone new. Her eyes bore
into you. You know that this person is judging you. From the minute
you walked in, even before you open your mouth, you are being judged.
Your style, personality, looks, everything is judged in that brief
encounter.
You are not
alone if this leaves you feeling very uncomfortable and wondering
whether the first impression you created was indeed a good one.
First impressions
are an important part of our day-to-day lives. They can sometimes
make or break your first meeting with someone. What happens during
that first moment can affect the rest of the relationship. How many
times have you heard, "When I first met him..." or "The
first time I saw you I thought...?" How often do you find yourself
baffled, bewildered or even hurt because the response you elicit
from others is different from the one you had hoped for? Blame it
on first impressions.
When you first
enter a room, an office, or a business meeting, you only have one
free moment, one fleeting instant in which you receive the complete
and undivided attention of those around you. In that instant, the
people observing decide whether you are a threat or an attraction,
whether you are of interest to them or not. In most cases, people
make the vital decision about a stranger in less time than what
it takes to blink an eyelash. If you mess-up that moment, you have
to work awfully hard for the next.
Every relationship
- whether personal or business - starts with a first impression.
The right body language and conversation takes just seconds to set
the stage for a winning impression.
If it is in
an interview, the first impression we create could be what makes
us get that job we dreamed about or have it denied to us. The impression
you create could well be the all-important factor in the whole meeting
that gives you the edge.
The interviewer
makes a judgment on you within the first two or three minutes. The
rest of the time is spent filtering information. If there is a negative
first impression, the rest of the time the interviewer is likely
to pick up any other negative vibes as well. Thankfully, the reverse
is also true. If the first impression is good, the interviewer will
only see the positive.
It is the same
when you are going out and meeting new people or someone special.
They tend to look at you and start judging you the minute they see
you. Everyone hates being judged, but that is reality and even though
we hate it, we have to admit even we are guilty of doing the same
thing.
Here are a
few tips from etiquette experts on how to create positive first
impressions:
When getting
ready to meet someone for the first time, how you act and dress
depends on who you want to impress.
You first have
to ask yourself what you would like to project, which qualities
in you that you would like others to identify.
It is also
important that you should be sincere about what you project; never
be superficial. People have the instinct for telling if a person
is faking it.
Let's face
it, we live in a society where how you look counts.
Whether it's
fair or not, a person's first judgment of the other is based on
clothing. Beauty and personality come second. Clothing is the first
clue absorbed by the eye before the brain judges first impressions.
It's unrealistic
to suppose that everyone has the patience to wait for you to open
your mouth before making a judgment. But the clothes you wear create
a first impression.
It is always
important to look your best so you feel confident about the impression
you are making. Be able to carry off what you are wearing and always
be well groomed. Never be careless with your clothes.
Keep in mind
the way you treat yourself is the impression that someone has of
how you will treat them.
You make your
best real-world impression by being calmly and confidently yourself.
Try to enjoy the nervous energy you are feeling. Have fun. Remember
to smile. People are perceived as more attractive when they are
having a good time.
To help create
a good first impression in an interview, find out the appropriate
dress standards at the company you wish to work and then dress one
notch above.
Act and feel
confident. Get plenty of sleep and take care of your body (shower,
hair, shave, etc.). As you do these things, you are able to create
a positive frame of mind and confidence comes easier
Just keep in
mind: Cleanliness, being up-to-date, polished, and looking good
are the words we want in your vocabulary when you fix yourself up
for that first meeting.
Your manner
of communication is also important. Your body language, tone of
voice and manner in which you speak is all going to be taken into
consideration.
It is also
important that you should always be polite, and have a good understanding
of what you are saying. Avoid using slang or inappropriate language.
Listen as much
as you talk. Show interest in the other person. Be confident, but
also geniune. Make eye contact. By doing this we are showing that
we really do care about what the other person is saying and that
we have nothing to hide. Connect.
It is also
important that you should never be over confident. Be less-than
perfect. Regardless of the style you choose or the language you
use to express yourself, be careful not to extol your own virtues
to the point of boredom, or even suspicion. No one can be that perfect.
Your minor faults and charming inconsistencies make you human, interesting
and approachable.
Are first impressions
people create always accurate? Not necessarily. Many people admit
that the impression they form in their minds about someone at times
has ended up being very wrong. This is why many people tend not
to believe in the concept of creating a good first impression. But
no matter what is said and done, the first impression that you created
in a person's mind sticks with them, and changing that is no easy
task.
They all say
that everyone deserves a second chance, but when it comes to impressions,
one chance is all you get and you have to make good use of that
chance.
How
much does it matter?
So do we all really believe
in first impressions being all important?
Tatiyana (21):- I do take first impressions quite seriously but,
the key is to give the person the benefit of the doubt and leave
room for your first impressions to change, if necessary.
Radika(19): - Yeah I believe in first impressions. I think most
of the time it is right, especially when it comes to my friends.
Girls? Nah, they fake it most of the time.
Thara (39):-First impressions are everything, so it is important
that you make a good first impression. However, this is not strictly
correct because someone who doesn't appear friendly initially can
turn out to be quite the opposite.
Dushi(20): - Well, I guess first impressions are important. But
then, it is hard to judge a person on that because most of the time
it is fake.
Denu(17):- No way! First impressions are never right, unless that
person doesn't know that he or she is being judged, which is so
impossible.
Shehan(22):- I know most of us don't really believe in first impressions.
But in my case, I believe them to be true to a certain extent. No,
I don't have a different attitude when it comes to girls and guys.
Kushlani(21): - I don't know ! I am pretty good at judging people.
The first impressions I form of people are most of the time right.
So...I believe in it.
Nishani(19):- First impressions? Interesting. No I don't really
believe in it. But then come to think of it, I do judge people.
Mekala (25):- I don't go by it. I guess it influences me a little.
I need time to get to know someone, so I really don't go by my first
impression.
Kushan(26): - I don't know. Don't you think it's unfair to judge
a person like that? Come on, we hate it, so imagine how others feel.
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