5th Column

Satellite, be more positive if you need to avoid trouble

My Dear Satellite,
I thought I should write to you in the New Year, especially since now you are also in the habit of writing letters to people like the Prime Minister of Norway, for instance!

Firstly, I believe congratulations are in order for surviving one year with the Greens though the newspapers seem to call this 'cohabitation', perhaps they can't think of a better word. And you didn't do it the way they wanted either.

We should have of course anticipated what was coming when we noticed that you didn't even smile with some ministers at their swearing-in ceremony, but we thought you would eventually see eye-to-eye with the likes of Gas Labu and Seeni Bola.

We all remember how you kept postponing the appointment of ministers and then extending the terms of officers of the Armed Forces using the powers vested under you by that 'bahubootha' constitution that you dislike so much. Of course, you never did think of how it would affect the country because what mattered was how it would affect you!

Then, there were the constant reports of how you fought with your "colleagues" in the Cabinet over this, that and the other, never giving in and having your say even if you couldn't sometimes have your way. Why, you even mimicked the way a minister speaks for the entertainment-starved people of this country!

Then there was the whole issue about the peace talks where the Greens were doing what they wanted and only met you once in a while to "keep you informed" of what was going on. This I believe is the current state of affairs and all your protests have fallen on deaf ears.

However, in this respect you may be better off re-considering your position especially because everyone-including the all important international community- will see you as a massive road block on the highway to peace if you continue with your present position of saying 'yes, I support peace' and then doing everything possible to oppose it.

But Satellite, you certainly must beware of the Green Man. He is not naïve as he looks. I think he knows that people think he is not so smart and he uses that to his own advantage.

Certainly, his uncle would have been proud of him as a worthy successor for he did achieve the near-impossible: toppling a government headed by a person who had enormous powers under the constitution. And now he seems on the verge of achieving the next impossible task-striking a deal with the Tigers, though some would argue it is a raw deal indeed.

So, take care, Satellite. And if you really want to show who is in charge, writing letters to Prime Ministers is not the way to do it.. If you were unhappy with a diplomat you could have sacked him like someone before you did it gladly to the British. Now if you did something like that, the Greens would think again before going ahead with their plans without informing you.

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha.

PS-. I am afraid telling the people that someone pointed a gun at you and threatened to kill you will not gain you much sympathy. You will have to come up with something better than that. How about Mallo threatening to drown himself in high spirits if he doesn't get the southerner's job, for instance?

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