5th Column

Satellite flits from this to that thus confusing everyone
My Dear Satellite,

I thought of writing to you after seeing you and hearing what you had to say on Independence Day where you did make a pretty picture, seated as you were right next to the Green Man, even though he was not pointing a gun at your head and threatening to shoot you!

But Satellite, what surprised me even more was you said that day. There you were, praising those who were engaged in the peace talks and acting as if you were quite capable of settling matters between Saddam and George.

This is all quite a bit confusing, Satellite. One day you complain that the country and the rights of its people are being bargained away and that you would be the first to put a stop to it but the very next day you are happily saying that the peace talkers should be given every encouragement.

Of course, Satellite we do know that you change your mind ever so frequently. So, this is not that surprising. Why, we still remember how you took the reds for a ride by promising to abolish the Presidency and then forgetting all about it. Then, you promised to hold a Referendum and then changed your mind only a few weeks later.
Have you discussed this latest change of tune with your red comrades, Satellite? It will be interesting to hear what they think of your sudden affinity for peace because they seem to think that talking to the Tigers should happen only after our striped friends surrender their guns.

Then, Satellite, there is this strong suspicion that you are only saying all this just to remind everyone-including the Green Man- who the real boss is. Why, we still remember your memorable statement not so long ago about you being the only person who is capable of declaring war or peace.

But Satellite, if what you really want is just to show who is in charge, there are other issues you could take up equally effectively. You could, for instance, assert your authority and say ?no more ministers? instead of swearing in a new one every fortnight like you did last week.

After all we are being told that the government wants to stop recruiting more public servants until it tides over its financial crisis, aren?t we? But then, Satellite, you and the Green Man might argue that this doesn?t apply to ministers because they don?t serve the public anyway!

But, Satellite, we certainly would like to clarify what your real thoughts are about war, peace and everything else. Maybe you could even do one of those television interviews you used to do those days when the blues were in charge, where you would talk for a good three hours, answering four questions?

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha

PS- And then there was all this fuss about the three service commanders saluting a woman police constable who was used as the dummy President at the rehearsal. There were those saying that it was in fact quite appropriate because, after all, with the Green Man taking all the decisions, may be we do have a dummy President!

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