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Kissy
facts
By Leyla
Swan Hupfeld was
neither the first nor the last writer to contemplate the power of
the kiss. Indeed, wherever there is literature, there are odes to
the kiss. 'Let him kiss
me with the kisses of his mouth,' wrote the author of the Song of
Solomon, 'for thy love is better than wine.' 'Kisses are
a better fate than wisdom,' suggested the poet Cummings, while Henry
Finck described them as 'the very autograph of love' and Jonathan
Swift rued the 'fool it was that first invented kissing'. The act of
touching lips has been observed and documented ever since the ancient
Romans noted that there were at least three motivations for kisses
- friendship (oscula), love (basia) and passion (suavia) - while
the Talmudic rabbis described kisses of greeting, farewells, and
respect. In evolutionary
terms, the kiss may have its roots in both the relationship between
mother and child 'weaning babies with chewed food' and the need
upon meeting to identify or 'sniff out' friends from foes. Indeed,
even chimpanzees have been observed embracing and touching mouths
after a separation. As a gesture borne out of nurturing and life,
the kiss continues to resonate everywhere from advertising to the
fairytale of Sleeping Beauty, who is awakened from her slumber by
the touch of a prince's lips. A kiss certainly
connotes intimacy, cementing either the bonds of family, friendship
or the passion of romantic love. 'At what else does that touching
of lips aim but at a junction of souls?' wrote philosopher Favorinus
of Arles. But, for all
its emotional and symbolic significance, the kiss is not always
welcome. As a public gesture of greeting, kisses became so common
in ancient Rome that the Emperor Tiberius (42BC-37AD) issued an
edict against them. Earlier, Cato
had punished a senator named Manilius for kissing his own wife in
front of his daughter in public. His disapproval of such blatant
gobsmacking was so famous that when Nyrop witnessed a young woman
kissing her fiance at a party, he wrote that 'Cato would certainly
turn in his grave if he knew that such immodest behaviour was actually
tolerated by people of refinement and position.' Tiberius and
Cato were not alone in their disdain for the act. 'Every neighbour,
every hairy-faced farmer, presses on you with a strongly scented
kiss,' complained another Roman. 'Here the weaver assails you, there
the fuller and cobbler, who has just been kissing leather; here
the owner of a filthy beard, and a one-eyed gentleman; there one
with bleared eyes, and fellows whose mouths are defiled with all
manner of abominations.' By the Middle
Ages, it had become such common practice to greet friends and strangers
alike with a kiss, that Montaigne lamented that men 'have to kiss
50 ugly women to three pretty ones'. In England, Erasmus too observed
that the country was awash with kisses and that even washer girls
at inns farewelled departing travellers with a kiss. The bad-tempered
Romans may have banned what they called 'crimen osculationis' or
the crime of public kissing, but it did not deter a 19th-century
Naples man, who was forbidden to come within 30 miles of the place
where he had kissed a woman in the street. Nor did it prevent Englishman
Thomas Saverland from trying to kiss Caroline Newton in 1837. The
unwilling Newton promptly bit off part of his nose. When Saverland
sued her for damages, Newton stood her ground once more and the
judge ruled in her favour, observing that, 'when a man kisses a
woman against her will, she is fully entitled to bite his nose,
if she so pleases'. Women were
not the only ones vulnerable to unwanted kisses. In 1855, Nathaniel
Hawthorne was scathing about the Christmas tradition of kissing
under the mistletoe. 'The maids of the house did their utmost to
entrap the gentlemen boarders,' he wrote of his stay at a Liverpool
guest house, 'old and young, under these privileged places, and
there to kiss them, after which they were expected to pay a shilling.' Unwelcome kisses
still can and do make headlines. In 1983, Robin Blencoe, then a
cabinet minister in British Columbia, Canada, was removed from cabinet
and caucus after he kissed a colleague. He apologised and said the
gesture was not meant to be sexual, but the case rolled on for six
more years and cost Blencoe his job, tens of thousands of dollars
in legal costs, and his reputation. Six years later,
Moorhead State University in Minnesota banned mistletoe because
of claims that it encouraged sexual harassment, and in 1996, a six-year-old
North Carolina boy was suspended from school for kissing a reluctant
classmate. At first, school
officials said the boy had broken written rules against sexual harassment.
Later, they softened their response, stating that the boy had only
violated a 'general school rule, which prohibits unwarranted and
unwelcome touching of one student by another.' By then, the
case was already being reported in the international media and the
boy's parents had received an offer of US100,000 dollars for the
movie rights to their story. For all that,
the kiss is far from universal and in many parts of Asia, the Pacific
and Africa, mouth kissing in public is rare. Indeed, in 1897, the
French anthropologist, Paul d'Enjoy observed that the Chinese frowned
upon this Western habit as a horrendous and almost cannibalistic
act. 'Sniff-kissing,
or nose-rubbing, is common in many cultures, and signifies an intermingling
of two people's breath or spirit, the equivalent to life itself,'
observes science writer Daniel McNeil, author of The Face. 'Maori
greet strangers by touching noses softly, twice. It brings two faces
within a tight circle and establishes a closer bond than a handshake.' Can a kiss still be a kiss, even if the lips are not involved? If Herman Hupfeld's famous lyric is anything to go by, perhaps so. After all: 'It's still the same old story; a fight for love and glory; a case of do or die. The world will always welcome lovers; as time goes by.' Do
you stay and fight or cut and run? 2. Your boss
suggests you have made a mistake. Do you 3. You are
cooking for an important dinner party and realize that you have
not bought a vital ingredient. Do you 4. Your coach
driver announces that he is lost and that you will arrive at your
destination late. Do you 5. You are
all that stands between a runaway horse and a busy road. Do you 6. A friend
asks you to go on an adventure weekend. Do you 7. A mugger
attacks you in the street and tries to steal your bag. Do you 8. A dinner
party conversation is turning into a very unpleasant argument. Do
you 9. You wake
up with a bad headache. Do you 10. Your plane
is in trouble and the pilot needs your help. Do you Now check your
score: 0-25: Cut and
run. You don't like taking a stand even when you know you are in
the right. It may seem like the easy option, but it often leaves
you looking - and feeling - like a doormat for everyone to walk
over. Look through the quiz again, and see how you would feel if
you took the middle way. 30-75: Half
and half. You know when to stand and when to run. Don't change. 80-100: Stand and fight. It might seem the best option, but if you look back over the questions, you will see that making a stand can sometimes makes you seem heavy-handed and could even be dangerous. You'll also look very silly if you jump in with both feet and can't follow through. Shadow Your country
needs you The government
spends billions of rupees to aid the educational system of the country
as a long-term investment. But some people when they have accomplished
their goals they tire of this country and abruptly leave. They declare
that the wages are inappropriate and they prefer foreign employment.
I'm not stating that this is wrong; of course they are completely
eligible to migrate to any country they prefer. But if you
are thinking of abandoning your country, consider this - first think
about your decision, and then ask yourself if you are betraying
your motherland. Is this the way repay your mother who assisted
you to achieve the position you are in presently? If you decide
to alter your decision consider yourself a patriot. |
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Copyright © 2001 Wijeya Newspapers
Ltd. All rights reserved. |
