Forget the 'if
only's
By
Shiroma Benaragama
If only I had longer hair, curlier hair, straighter hair,
a slimmer body, more money, a better job, a boyfriend, a better
husband, fairer skin, more confidence, a straighter nose, smaller
hips, a nicer house... life would be perfect.
Sounds familiar?
Self-esteem means feeling good about your beliefs, thoughts,
feelings and desires. High self-esteem is important because it provides
a foundation for you to deal with life's many challenges. Improving
your self-esteem can give you the confidence, strength and resilience
to face and overcome many obstacles. The root cause of low self-esteem
lies in constantly comparing ourselves with others, and finding
ourselves lacking. Many of us look around us, at all the seemingly
more beautiful, happier and more fulfilled folks around us and feel
we come up short. Maybe, in a way, it's okay to think that. If everyone
was completely satisfied with the way they looked, whatever would
happen to the beauty industry!? Or the fashion industry!?
There's nothing
wrong in comparing ourselves with others. In fact, such comparisons
may even spur us on to better ourselves. It is when these comparisons
start dragging us down, that we are in trouble.
Be comfortable
with your body
Our standard of beauty is rising. Our perceptions of beauty
have scaled new heights, and when the mirror image doesn't match
these standards, we lose heart. The most common cause of insecurity
stems from a dislike of our body image. We are constantly bombarded
by images of perfection. We need to be comfortable with our body.
Snap out
of it!
Stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself you look good.
Maybe you need to lose a little weight from your hips, but you look
great anyway. If you are overweight, getting upset about it will
not solve the problem. Working out and exercising will. So you have
to work harder than your friends - much harder - to lose the same
amount of weight? Tough, but you're just going to have to do it,
and it will pay off in the long run. Plus, don't forget, you've
got other things going for you that they don't. Perhaps you are
more financially comfortable, perhaps you have a nicer face, a more
loving family, or a nicer voice...
Accept yourself
It's time to understand one basic fact of life. There will
always be someone prettier, richer, wittier or more successful.
That does not make them better persons, or happier. Likewise, there
will always be those who have less than you. They may have less
money, be less talented or less good looking. But that would not
make you any superior or happier.
Give yourself
a break
When we compare ourselves with others, we know the worst of
our selves and our lives but we have no idea about the problems
others may be facing. We compare what we are from inside, to what
another person appears to be on the outside.
Let go of
petty jealousies and envious feelings
Life is not about getting one-up on another person. You are
never going to be happy that way. The women you envy today may have
far harder times ahead of them than you will ever face. No one knows
what the future holds. You have got to focus on yourself. Do not
moan for the life you had imagined having or wish you would have.
It is very easy to become bitter and blame the world for all your
problems. Grow up! Spend your time trying to be happy with the life
you are already leading.
Picture
yourself 20 years from now
The sort of comparison you are now making with your peers lessens
as you advance in years. Suddenly you realise that all of you have
turned 40, your life is just fine, and those non-productive comparisons
just dwindle away. Why wait till then? You've got one life. Start
now!
'They'
will tell you what to think
By Ruhanie Perera
A bare stage, nine actors, eight boxes and one booming
voice. That's Big Brother - and he's watching.
Based on Orwell's
1984, Big Brother Is Watching is set in 2048 where the countries
of the world have developed into three super states - Oceania (comprising
North America, South America, England and Australia), Eurasia and
East Asia. Big Brother, controller of Oceania, is representative
of all of history's classic tyrants.
He is the all-pervasive
head of state, government and religion that controls the media and
through it, the minds of his people. An exercise facilitated by
the latest technology at his fingertips. With his 'Thought Police',
Ministry of Truth and Bureau of Hate - he is the ultimate dictator.
Every dictator
needs an enemy in order to justify his hold on the people. In this
play, the enemy comes in the form of Goldstein exiled from the land,
and unseen at all times.
Orwell takes
the standard love story, that of Winston and Julia, and weaves around
it a larger political situation. The lovers choose to meet in the
area set aside for the Proles (the Proletariat) who are, as far
as the regime is concerned, just the labour. Yet it is from them
that the lovers learn about what life was like before Big Brother,
when sugar, coffee, and nursery rhymes were not something alien
to people. In learning this, they transgress the system, which necessitates
a re-education process, one that will bring them back into the fold.
For Marsh Dodanwela
who plays the role of Winston Smith, the central idea of the play
comes across in the straightforward demand to 'stop and think.'
"I don't think we are aware of how much the media influences
us; how certain people and nations influence our thinking."
In his opinion, what we all need to do is evaluate our thinking
in terms of "Am I an individual?" or "Am I the sum
total of what the media bombards me with?"
His character,
the intelligent and pensive Winston, learns to question his thinking
and in doing so examines the principles of the regime within which
he has grown up. Subsequently he realizes that there is something
wrong with the ideology of the regime. Although he does possess
the strength of character to make a change, he lacks the will to
act. That is until he meets Julia, who, in loving him, gives him
the strength he needs. "The transition Winston goes through
is interesting," says Marsh, "he goes from being paranoid
and disillusioned, to someone who finds it in himself to challenge
the system."
"The world
created by Big Brother is a world where love doesn't exist,"
says Kisholi de Mel who plays Julia. "Julia doesn't know how
to express her feelings for Winston. She says she was drawn to him
because he hated the party as much as she did, she sees it in his
eyes. But this feeling is one that grows very deep; he becomes her
life. And within the play this is a very dangerous position to be
in."
The play, says
Kisholi, highlights how the people in power, control every thought,
every feeling, and every emotion of an individual.
Chamat Arambewela
who plays Comrade O'Brien, member of the Big Brother regime and,
most importantly, the only physical presence of the regime, talks
of how his character is the one character in the play who has absolute
control over what takes place. "Totally in control. No emotions.
It's all a game and I'm playing with people's lives."
The play is
topical. And though at this point it may seem almost obvious, the
question must be asked. Why this play? Says director Feroze Kamardeen:
"It's becoming increasingly difficult for people and nations
to have an opinion of their own. In fact, we live in a time when
we find it hard to have an opinion different to that of Big Brother.
Big Brother can be anyone - it can be the person who controls the
market, world politics - the one in control of the present. I think
the play is relevant in terms of what is taking place in the world."
"The play
makes a very powerful statement on authority and the whole notion
of democracy, unveiling the way in which people can be deluded into
doing things because of an ideological position," says Neluka
Silva, whose role represents the archetypical citizen who doesn't
question, has no independence and is totally devoted to the party.
Says Neluka, "What is striking and almost chilling is that
although she may seem extreme, she is representative of people of
a society, in times of mass movement. She is what the average citizen
could become in such a time."
For Neluka,
the play is a frightening account of how human beings can be controlled
by breaking their minds. It's not just about controlling or defeating
the mind, she says, it's about manipulating it so that an individual
passively accepts a particular belief system.
The play seems
to have struck a chord with all the actors, it seems to have a voice
of its own and its message is one that deserves to be heard. As
Marsh puts it, "Hopefully we can make it engaging enough for
our audience - and if we make even one person stop and think - that
would be good."
A StageLight&Magic
Inc. production, Big Brother Is Watching opens on June 6 at the
Lionel Wendt Theatre and continues till June 8. The cast comprises
Marsh Dodanwela, Kisholi de Mel, Chamat Arambewela, Neluka Silva,
Wanda Godlieb, Dininda Paranahewa, Nishani Jayamaha, Arjuna Koralagama
and Kisholi Mendis.
|