5th Column

Asian Hero but has failed to convince Velu to the table
My Dear Green Man,
I thought of writing to you even though you may be in far away Japan because congratulations are in order for being declared an 'Asian Hero'. Ah, just imagine how jealous Satellite must be!

But Green Man, isn't it ironic that you are being hailed as a hero by the world but you still can't get Velu to come to the negotiating table or even get control of the Development Lottery!

But still, Green Man, you have indeed come a long way since you were a fresh-faced understudy to All Countries Seen in your uncle's government twenty five years ago. Pardon me if I am wrong but even ten years ago, not many gave you a ghost of a chance of making it to the top. Of course, fate-and Velu- did have a hand in your rise to the top because those who masterminded the Udagamas, Mahapolas and Mahavelis were eliminated, courtesy of the man you are dealing with now!

But of course, even after those tragic events, there were many among the Greens who doubted that you could deliver and you must not forget that only months before you rose to the top, there was a plan to get rid of you and install Karu as the leading Green Man!

Having made it to the top, Green Man, you now undoubtedly realise that staying there is harder than getting there, what with Satellite calling you names and breathing down your neck and having to write to Bala every other day, begging him to come to the party.

But, Green Man, there are other matters that are worrying. The behaviour of your ministers appears to be no better than the previous lot. This is hardly surprising since a significant number of them are from the previous lot, but even then, if they carry on in this manner it won't take much longer for you to be dragged down with them.

So, Green Man, maybe it is time to do what your uncle did when faced with such a situation and ask for a couple of resignations. Remember, he got EL to resign and everyone was happy but then EL too was happy in the end because he got a Speaking job!

The other issue, Green Man, is the rising cost of living which cannot be brought down just because gas prices are lowered. As you probably know, Green man, we are a people who follow the 'kaapalla, beepalla, joli karapalla' culture and this is now not possible because prices of everything have skyrocketed and we are not winning cricket matches any more. So, Green Man, if you are thinking of remaining at the top you must surely do something about this instead of merely writing letters to Bala and telling him that peace is at hand.

But of course, we know that is why you are in Tokyo with begging bowl in hand. But please remember, regardless of how much you get, it will be of no use if some of it doesn't trickle down to the man on the street who couldn't care less about who controls the Development Lottery because he needs to win one to make ends meet!

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS-What happened to that Impeachment Motion, Green Man? Most people think it would be prudent to have one deposited with Joseph Michael, just in case Satellite throws another of her tantrums and takes over a few more institutions. Think about it, will you, Green Man?

Back to Columns