Mirror Magazine

Mirror Magazine

The dead give-aways
By Shiroma Benaragama
Your body speaks a thousand words. You
can tell so much about a person by looking at them and observing their movements. Does the person you are talking to like you? Is he enjoying your company? Is she trying to wriggle her way out of the conversation? What kind of a person is your prospective employee, employer or partner? Here are a few dead give-aways that will give you an insight into the personality of a person and indicate what he or she is feeling during a conversation.

o Slouching
A person who stands erect gives the

message that he/she is emotionally strong, knows what he/she wants and how to get there and has confidence in his/her abilities. A person who slouches is essentially an introvert, (though he/she may have overcome his/her shyness with the passage of time) is self-conscious or is simply laid-back.

o Arms crossed
Observe the way your companion is sitting.

Are her arms crossed around her chest? This is a closed position and it shows that she is not very comfortable with the direction the conversation is taking. She is possibly trying to protect herself emotionally and is involuntarily shutting you out.

If she is leaning back and sitting with her arms across her chest, she could be feeling defensive, and is possibly trying to draw away from you.

She could also be disagreeing with what you are saying. This stance doesn't denote lack of interest - it is a combative, defensive or self-conscious stance.

If you see a woman standing with her arms crossed, it shows that she is feeling uncomfortable and that she'd rather be somewhere else. She's slightly nervous and doesn't really know what to do with her hands, so she crosses them across her chest.

o Leaning in
If a person leans towards you while talking, it

indicates interest, while if she leans away from you, it means that her attention is starting to waver. Change the subject, quick!

o Touching
If your companion taps you on your hand or on

your shoulder when you are saying something, it indicates an interest in the conversation. It could also mean that the person is attracted to you, or is comfortable in your company.

o Feet
If you are standing and conducting a conversation

with someone, observe where his feet are pointing.

Are they pointing towards you, or away from you? If they are pointing towards you, it is a good sign and it shows that he is interested in what you have to say.

If they are pointing in another direction, it means that he is looking to walk away from you.

o Eyes
Is your companion making eye contact with you? If

eye-contact is good, the person comes across as comfortable with the present situation, and interested in what you are saying.

So if you want to pay attention to what a person is saying or convey interest in the conversation, make sure you look into your companion's eyes.

This doesn't mean that you stare non-stop; staring is a little rude, not to mention psychotic! But constantly looking around the room while talking indicates lack of interest.

It could also indicate that you are a shy person, or that you are feeling self-conscious. Direct eye contact is also good to use when being interviewed, as it shows confidence and conviction in what you are saying.

o Lying
Is the person you are speaking to looking to his left

or to his right?

Studies suggest that if someone is fibbing, he will look slightly to the left while speaking to you, as he is using his 'creative' brain, while if he is being honest, he will look to his right!

o Adjusting clothes/hair
If your companion sub-consciously adjusts her

clothes, it indicates that she is interested, and not just in your conversation! If she pats her hair, it could be a possible indicator of interest, but don't read too much into this.

Women love their hair and tend to enjoy playing with it, whether or not they are really interested in the person they are talking to.

If men pass their hands through their hair, it's a dead give-away that they want you to perceive them as attractive.

Remember, look for more than one sign before you jump to conclusions. If your companion crosses her hands, it may simply be because she is feeling cold, but if she crosses her hands, leans away from you and glances around the room instead of at you, she's definitely losing interest in the conversation.

So use your judgement while observing another's body language.

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