5th Column

Polls or back to war is the million-dollar question
My Dear Velu,
I thought I must write because I know you must be sulking in your bunker these days because you couldn't make it to Paris. Of course Velu, we are now quite used to the greens jumping up in joy because the peace talks are now almost certain to begin while at the same time, Satellite is shouting from the rooftops saying that you chaps were planning something sinister from the Hilton rooftop.

But of course what really puzzles me is why you chaps took the trouble to go to Paris at all. Here you are, happily killing off your political opponents one by one, setting up new camps despite even the Norwegians crying foul and ignoring every law in the book in what you call 'your' areas. And, in the same breath you also talk about your rights and grievances and demand the impossible to which the Greens squirm and agree!
Now, Velu, as it is now, no matter what we agree to it would appear that you would be getting less than what you already have-which is why I do not understand why you wish to go through with this Paris routine.

As you know, Velu, that man Rauff and his brethren in the East are demanding a small slice of the cake for themselves and judging by what happened this week, imposing a "solution" wouldn't be an easy task either.

Then of course, what everyone forgets when talking about political solutions is that whatever agreement is reached you would have to go to the polls and get democratically elected and I'm not sure you are quite capable of that unless of course you use the tried and tested 'Wayamba' method!

So, my question to you is why would you abdicate all the absolute power that you now enjoy in return for some meaningless political office where you would require the consent of the people for everything that you do-at least theoretically though it doesn't always work that way as we know from our experience in the South?

I do understand that Uncle Sam and the chaps in Toronto, Paris and London are cracking the whip but then you were never one to be belittled by these foreigners messing in your affairs-as no doubt the Indians and the Norwegians will tell us.

And, now you have even got rid of Bala who made a fine art of concealing terrorism in impressive political jargon. Of course, if he is ever in need of a job I am sure he can get one from Uncle Sam, re-writing what Bush is doing in Iraq and calling it 'liberation'.
So, Velu, when are you planning to call it a day and resume the big war? Surely, you are not gullible enough to make the mistake of agreeing to enter political system again and suffer? Just look at what happened to Tilvin, Wimal and the sahodarayas-they have given up the revolution and are still trying to latch on to Satellite's saree pota but they can't even manage that?

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS-And I know that sometime ago, you were quite keen on a federal system of government. But now you can't agree to that either, can you, because someone has promised to send a rather special parcel to you if you do?

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