POLITICAL SKETCHBOOK

POLITICAL SKETCHBOOK by Rajpal Abeynayaka

She has a nice way with the kids
It has been a while since the President went for the Royal College Prize giving, but, the event was almost surreal. She gave the Royal boys all sorts of wisdom, including her own children's wisdom. They want me to get out of this game of politics, she said, because these politicians are a scurvy lot. The Royal College principal then genuflected, and gave her an album, and it looked surreal too, like a scene form kapuwa kapothi or Well Mudliar How?

She then oozed Presidential wisdom from every pore of her body -- she talked of men being like animals, and politics being dirty -- in short the whole works. All of this she did after reaching the venue one full hour late. If anybody didn't like that, well they could learn from her or depart.

But its Chadrika Kumaratunga's strength. She does the most deviant thing, and makes it appear as if she is the aggrieved party. It is something wild -- like a man who is in the business of illicit tree felling giving a lecture on how to protect the environment.

She makes no apologies for being late. Which means that Royal College students will now reply in this way when they are reprimanded for being late to school: "The President who says that men are becoming like animals, comes one hour late. So being early is surely an animal trait.'' You think any Royal teacher worth his tie is going to have an answer to that?

But of course what is this column going on about Chandrika Kumaratunga being late. It's like the sky, the earth and the trees, it’s there. It's as old as the story - - an old mangled hackneyed story, right?

You have never been more right. But yet, it takes more than spunk, practice, habit and attitude to come for a school prize giving one hour late. It has the audaciousness of a rapist letting himself loose in a nunnery. Going to a school prize giving one hour late is something of an attitudinal tour de force. It is trail blazing. In that sense she is early.

What will she do next? Go to a dasa sil matha upasampada ceremony in a bikini? Of course she won't do that, and some of my old friends in the media would not like any President being associated with such two piece bathing suits.

But, we are all unhinged, so how can we not do the unimaginable and not say the peculiar? I mean, we live in a time where we have a President who goes to a school prize giving one hour late - - and proceeds to tell the audience how they can reach the higher mental status of sowan. Or something like that.

Technically speaking her speech should not have been about the seamier side of politics. It should have been about the rottenness of Japanese. You think that is outlandish? Nothing can be outlandish when we are talking Chandrika Kumaratunga. The Japanese sacked a Minister because he was 20 minutes late for an appointment with a visiting Minister from another country. There was a massive public clamour for his removal.

For our President, that summary sacking would have been an animal thing to do. But at least her children would have been happy. They want their mother to give up politics - now haven't we heard that one. If this was Japan they would have been saved the bother. Chandrika Kumaratunga would have been probably sent home gracefully a thousand times by the people.

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