5th Column

Karuna factor has caused many a split
My dear Karuna,
I thought I should write to you after all the controversy you have created in recent times. I suppose more people now know where Prabha is hiding than your own whereabouts!

First, Karuna, you succeeded in dividing the Tigers which Prabha had ruled with an iron hand for nearly twenty years. Then, dividing the Eastern province is no easy task and it has been done only by Ferial before you!

Then, you were able to divide the Greens, with some of them even helping you to come to Colombo. You proved that all their denials were in vain when one of them resigned in shame after admitting he brought you to Colombo.

Then, you succeeded in dividing the military with some of them apparently aware of what you were up to and others-for instance, the then Army Commander- saying that he knew nothing about helping you!

After all that, you were able to divide the government and the military itself with Mangala, who has this wonderful habit of rushing in where others fear to tread, claiming that he couldn't rule out the involvement of the military in your escapades.

And just when we thought it was all over, comes the news that you have even helped split the Buddhist monks because they helped some of your cadres escape. That must have been a real bonus and unfortunately for you, Karuna it is Prabha who will be most happy about that!

Anyway, Karuna after hearing that you were able to do all this, I was really surprised to hear that you now wanted to form your own political party and become a politician. Why would you want to join a crowd that commands no respect and meet every month in Kotte to trade unpalatable insults at each other? Why, the only privilege they had was a subsidised meal in Parliament and now even that has been withdrawn, we hear!

Just imagine, the indignities of a politician. Just after you cobble together enough manaapes and begin to think that is the end of your troubles, you are either hauled before the magistrates over some allegation or the other and your private life becomes the subject of prime time television. Do you really wish to live the rest of your private life like that, Karuna?

Then, just when you shrug off all these allegations and get down to work trying to recover all the money you have spent on elections by earning a commission or two Satellite decides two years is enough-even though she herself says she will be satisfied with nothing less than twelve-and you have to start all over again…

Just think about it, Karuna. I just think going back to Prabha and offering an apology would be better than leading the life of a politician in the South. And of course, if you don't want it at first and then you need the job for some reason or other, you could always get someone to resign and nominate yourself instead!

Yours truly
Punchi Putha
PS- I really don't know how to get this letter across to you, but if I can't get it to you through the greens, the military or the monks, I know I can always give it to Anura!

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