Mirror
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Interview
blunders As amusing as some of these instances may seem, at the time, I can assure you, they were far from it. In fact, they caused me much distress and despair the more I thought of them. And trust me, there were many nightmarish flashbacks, during which I would constantly berate myself over and over again. Be that as it may, I have finally come to that place in my life where I can look back and honestly say that I learned something. Well… let’s just say that I learned something new from every interview. So I made it a point to avoid a blunder I had made in the previous one when I went for the next, only to make a whole new one at the next and the next and so on. Allow
me to go back seven years . . . So there I am, sitting outside waiting, only to find that ten minutes later, this individual walks out with a bag, sees me and pauses . . . “Oh! You are the person ‘so and so’ sent…?”. Clearly this person had forgotten all about the interview. So I sat and spoke barely over a whisper (a trait all my family and friends would never believe I possessed) and answered as meekly and submissively as possible. In my defence, I had never been to an interview before, didn’t know the ‘dos’ and the ‘don’ts’, didn’t know that every articulation, every gesture, every response was being closely scrutinised, analysed and dissected. Fortunately for me however, this was not your everyday corporate sector interview, where it’s all about first impressions, assertiveness, confidence etc. etc. This person was looking for a school leaver, was not ‘out to get me’ and wanted an assistant. Someone, who was willing to learn, was flexible, was not easily rattled. That, I was. Clearly,
my very first was more of an encounter, rather than an interview.
I was fresh out of school, naïve, nervous and clueless. And
I soon learned that it is rather important that the employer actually
hears you, in order that Along comes another opportunity later in life. I have by now been drilled with ‘interview-etiquette’. I appear completely confident, smile a lot (not to seduce, but to project a ‘vibrant, outgoing personality’), and everything is going great, when towards the end of the interview, one of the three-member interview panel becomes a bit terse and abrupt. Being the dimwit that I was at the time (I reiterate ‘at the time’), I didn’t give it another thought. When I didn’t hear from them, I assumed that I had not got it. However, it was only a lot later that I discovered to my horror, thanks to the intervention of my ‘illustrious other (aka ‘bigger’) half’ (as he refers to himself), who found out through an inside source, that I had actually lost the job because I had apparently made a ‘face’. Can you believe it? As this friend explained, when I had been asked a question by the panel-member, I had apparently raised my eyes to the ceiling and given him a look of utter and absolute contempt. Now by way of explanation, the only instance where I could have even remotely resembled the contortionist, who I’m claimed to have emulated, is when I was asked about my chosen vocation. I think the so-called ‘face’ was my way of indicating that I was still unsure and that I had to think about it. But, we all know now how that was interpreted! After having gone for almost 50 such (figuratively speaking of course) disastrous ‘tête-à-têtes’, one would assume that I had made all the bloopers there are to be made. However, I think that I managed very successfully to come up with some that most researchers have not even dreamt of yet. It takes a very special person to be this consistent. That’s my consolation – I am truly gifted!! Obviously by now, I am a maestro at the game. I know the drill. Exude confidence – radiate charm – speak coherently and intelligently – be very pleasant and vibrant – don’t be too smart – don’t sell yourself short – get what you deserve!!! After hours, days and weeks of rehearsing and coaching, I think I’m finally ready for the big one; the one I’ve been waiting for. All goes well, until it’s time for the grand finale. Literally, the million-dollar question! Mind you, this is the question I rehearsed for the most. How to word it, how to ask for the expected amount without sounding avaricious, how to agree to compromise if they appear to have got mild heartburn after hearing my figure, etc. Nevertheless, come the moment of truth, I panic. I’m not sure how the employer will handle my figure; s/he
might get put off; better not risk it . . . and I end up bungling
the whole thing and asking for a ridiculously low amount. The employers
think that they have hit upon the jackpot and voila, I’m hired.
Aaarrrgh!!! Ah well, all is not lost. I’ve certainly learnt
something . . . for the next time… |
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