5th Column

Thamilselvan goes globe-trotting while the cauldron boils
My Dear Thamilselvan,
I thought I must write to you when I heard that you have taken wing to Europe with the kind courtesy of our government, even using the airport at Katunayake though it was not clear whether you used the VIP lounge to make your exit.

You must consider yourself a very fortunate chap, Thamilselvan. You must surely be the only terrorist leader fighting a government who gets free trips and guaranteed security from the very government you fight against!

But then, this is of course probably the only government where people who get elected under the opposition ticket like Thonda act with the government and people who get elected under the government ticket like Wee Wee to act against the government, so the courtesies extended to you are not extra-ordinary…

But pardon me, Thamilselvan, I'm still confused about what your terrorist outfit is up to. For instance, we hear you pleading almost daily for the resumption of peace talks and making it appear as if the government in Colombo is the terrorist group.

But then, we hear of Douglas's boys being gunned down in broad daylight in Colombo and elsewhere again almost daily and you want us to believe that it is not your handiwork…

And it is perfectly all right for your organisation which is so committed to democratic freedoms and human rights to kidnap two homeguards and then demand the release of ten of your terrorists in return!

And then there is this issue of this Interim Authority that everyone is talking about. Ranil wants to talk about it, Wee Wee doesn't want to talk about it and you want it handed over to you almost immediately but Satellite doesn't know what to do about it so she keeps asking the Norwegians about it. So, tell me Thamilselvan, why is it that your organisation which is so committed to peace keeps on insisting on the one demand that Colombo cannot concede?

But I do think you are missing a trick or two here, Thamilselvan and I do agree that Colombo is discriminating against you. For instance, did they offer you the best hotel accommodation-the equivalent of the Waldorf Astoria in Europe, for instance-during your stay abroad?

And do they offer you the luxury of releasing two speeches-one that you really said and the other for local consumption? Of course not and therefore you are right when you say you are discriminated against!

Just imagine, Thamilselvan, where you would be in ten years. Prime Minister of a Norway-sponsored terrorist state, perhaps? Or back at war and on the most wanted list of terrorists? It is up to you to choose really, although that means Velupillai will make the decision for you. As far as we are concerned, both options are equally distasteful but being the happy-go-lucky Sri Lankans that we are, I am sure we will be able to live with it…

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS-And just in case you forget, Thamilselvan, there is still the option of going against the Master. I'm sure Karuna will help you and so will those in the Colombo government. But we can't say the same about Douglas's boys, can we? But if things go wrong you can always get help from the Norwegians who are giving Jayaratne's a good run for their money as the most popular funeral parlour in town...

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