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Folks, there’s a vacancy for a job
TIMES POSTCARD
By Rajpal Abeynayake
Kofi Annan has said that he wants to reform the United Nations. So he sends a letter to George W. Bush. “Dear George, now that you are re-elected all is forgiven. Though you walked all over us in your first term, now that you are not seeking re-election I hope you want to work with us and let bygones be bygones. In fact I’m positive that you will want to.’’

“By the way congratulations Sir on your splendid election victory. I had intelligence that you wanted to invade Ohio if you were not triumphant in that state, but trust me, I told everybody concerned that you did not have to seek a UN resolution if you wanted to invade Ohio. (Signed, yours Very Sincerely, Kofi Annan.)’’

When George Bush got this letter he was very touched. “Kofi Annan is a uniter not a divider,’’ he told his staff, and told Colin Powell that Kofi Annan should be given honorary Membership of the Republican Party.

Then he went back to the White House and told his wife Laura, “the biggest reform that Kofi, poor chap is going to have in his life is that he is going to be retired. It’s in fact his wife who needs to be given a refresher on how to handle an idle husband at home twenty four hours of the day.’’

Laura could identify with that. She was about to take such a refresher too, but then her husband went and won the elections. So now she has four more years.

But when she mentioned casually to George that she also might need a similar refresher in four years, he said, “what rubbish, these days there is no staying home for an ex American President.’’

“How so?” asked his wife.
“Look at Bill Clinton, Somebody is suggesting that he will be interested in Kofi’s job as the Secretary General of the United Nations.”
“You really believe that?’’ said Laura, and George only said believe it or not, a hell of a lot of people are interested in that job that he was having a hard time deciding whom to appoint in the first place.

“But that’s not one of your appointments..” said Laura but by the time she finished the sentence George W. Bush had picked up his golf club and left.
People had even suggested that Mahathir Mohammed might be trying for the job. Heh! heh!, he laughed. “Of course if people can be so batty…”, said George Bush to himself. Mahahtir Mohammed who said that the Jews are running the world. But maybe, he should even try to appoint Mahatir, he thought. So that the old Malaysian will realise that it is really me, George W. Bush, who is running the world.

I mean people seriously think that Mahatir Mohammed may have a chance of becoming the Secretary General of the Unites Nations, yes the same ‘give ‘em hell’ Mohammed who does not give a fig leaf for the United States or Europe or any of the Western powers.

As long as people are in this mood I might as well go ahead and appoint Slobodan Milosevic for the job, said George W. Bush, and he drove his golf ball with such panache that he got a hole-in-one. “If only Iraq was a game of golf,’’ thought Bush and waltzed back into the White House.

At the Oval office he summoned his Chief of Staff and his Secretary of State and his National Security Advisor and said “we are going to appoint Slobodan Milosevic for the job of Secretary General United Nations.’’ “But isn’t he a war criminal?’’ asked Condoleezza Rice. “That is true, but at least if I appoint him I would stop hearing of the most outrageous names being mentioned for the job.’’ he said, and went back to his golf.

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