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Pick a gift: Your choice or theirs?
By Randima Attygalle
Invited to a wedding? Then comes the big question: what do you get the happy couple? From cash and gift vouchers to ornaments, electrical goods, household items or even the exotic, like tickets abroad, the list of possibilities seems endless.

Of course, it's not the size or price of what you get, but the love and blessings which accompany the gift. Yet there's always that tiny doubt in the giver's mind whether the gift is actually of any use to the couple? And when giving cash, how do we decide how much?

Recent surveys in Britain reveal that most couples prefer cash or vouchers to a present. What do Lankan couples prefer? The Sunday Times spoke to some 'brides and grooms to be', newly-weds, mothers and representatives of leading stores in Colombo to find out what their choice of an ideal wedding gift is.

" I'd rather have cash or a gift voucher than a hundred dinner sets or 50 wall clocks," says Uthpala Jayawardena who is to tie the knot next year. " I remember when my cousin got married, we opened the gifts to find five identical tea sets, four sandwich toasters and lots of glittering ornaments which just clutter one's space," said Uthpala adding that half these gifts end up at someone else's wedding later on.

"When you begin a new life together in new surroundings, a couple will have to meet lots of expenses doing the curtaining, buying furniture etc. Therefore they'll appreciate cash and will remember what they bought with it, instead of waiting to get rid of unwanted gifts," says Uthpala.

Ashran Akbar who married a few years ago recalls her wedding gifts, "The cash we got was very useful. I bought household equipment and linen of my taste. Of course there were plenty of glittering vases and glassware I did not know what to do with," she recalls.

Gift vouchers she received came in very handy as she could pick tableware and electrical goods of her own choice. Ashran does not believe in what are called 'wedding registries', available at leading departmental stores where a couple can indicate the items they are in need of. "These registries may be practical as the guests will be able to find out what the couple's needs are and give them something useful, but on the other hand, it is like a 'demand'," says Ashran with a smile.

Talking of wedding registries now available in departmental stores like ODEL, Paradise Road Galleries and Arpico, Minoli Ratnayake, editor of Adoh and the bridal magazine Confetti says, "Bridal registries are very common in European countries although it's still very much a novel concept in Sri Lanka. I think it's a fabulous opportunity to give the couple something they really like. You don't need to tax your mind and waste time browsing through many options available, but buy them a gift they'll cherish." Minoli also says that at times it's economical to give a gift mentioned in a bridal registry, especially when a group of friends is giving a common gift. "This way, you not only give a handy gift, but share the cost as well," she says.

" We have a good response to our bridal registries," says Saskia Fernando of Paradise Road Galleries, quite a popular choice of both guests and couples to pick a 'gift of class', be it linen, glassware, wrought-iron household items or ornaments. "We offer a handsome discount on all bridal registry items and lots of guests are keen to select a gift from a registry rather than randomly picking up a dinner set or a table lamp which may not be to the taste of the couple’s taste," says Saskia.

The Arpico department store also runs a popular bridal registry service especially for furniture, linen and an assortment of household equipment. "A couple is free to choose any amount of items of their choice ranging from household items to furniture and quite often almost all the items listed are selected by guests," says Avanthi de Zoysa, Retail Development Manager of Richard Pieris. " We offer this facility at our Super Centres in Hyde Park Corner, Nawinna, Dehiwala, Battaramulla and Gampaha," adds Ms. de Zoysa. She also said that during promotions of any product, a special discount is offered for any item listed in the register.

"A wedding gift is something you will cherish for life," says Lasantha (name changed) for whom wedding bells are to ring soon. "It may be something which is not to your taste but what matters is the thought behind it." He is one who does not believe in cash. "There is nothing personal about squeezing an envelope of cash into your pocket," says Lasantha who also believes that it's an 'expression of the value you set on the couple'.

"Unlike a gift, however inexpensive, when you give cash it's as if you're giving the couple a price tag, the amount they are worth," he says, adding that the couple will soon forget on what the cash was spent. So the next time you get an invitation, the choice is yours - a gift, cash, voucher or something from a bridal registry? The decision is still a difficult one and certainly a matter of individual choice.

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