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TIMES POSTCARD
Calling out for a rainbow coalition
By Rajpal Abeynayake
Mahinda Rajapakse is looking for coalition partners in the coming weeks.
If you are human you can apply. Maybe if you are a Popsicle you can apply too -- he is said to be considering anything these days.

He wants to form what is called a true rainbow coalition that contains all the colours of the rainbow. He is a colorful character. As if he cares what you stand for -- the more colours the better in his rainbow, yo.

For instance, Vasudeva Nanayakkara and the Jathika Hela Urumaya are both going to support him.
At the final rally Vasudeva is going to propose that Eelam be given on a platter – and the Hela Urumaya is going to have a hunger strike saying Vasudeva should be expelled from the alliance.

Of course Vasudeva will never be expelled. The Hela Urumaya believes more in showing off its hunger strike abilities than actually dying of hunger. Dying of hunger is the business of malnourished babies.
I was wondering why Rajapakse does not say that it doesn’t mater if Prabhakran joins his coalition.

He passes all criteria anyway.
Rajapakse is not interested – period -- in what any party leader does when he joins him and gets to be part of the government.

So Prabhakaran will pass eminently. The only problem is that Prabhakaran’s colours are all taken. The PM must send an urgent message to the Vanni. Find a proper colour for goddsake. Mauve, or goma green or whatever takes your fancy. As long as it is not any one the colours that are in my alliance already you can join my rainbow coalition too.

But which policy does Rajapakse hope to deploy when he gets to the top??
That is easy. If there can be ice creams in many flavours, there can be policies in many directions; so Rajapakse will probably employ a policy taster.
For example he feels that the JHU and Prabhakaran can both at times be killjoys. The JHU has been known to ask for strict regulation of bars.
Prabhakaran has been known to ask for strict regulation of marriage.
So it’s easy. That’s one policy for Rajapakse’s putative administration. There shall be no weddings and if there shall be weddings there shall be no liquor at these weddings.

There shall be no police too. The JHU and the Tigers can look after that part of enforcement.
Of course when Mahinda Rajapakse becomes President he will also have a whole new area of power to deal with. He will have a Ministry called the Deciding Ministry - - - because as he said in a speech recently, he is going to delegate economic policy to people who know about the economy.

So he is going to delegate decision making also to people who make decisions - - and he doesn’t count himself among these.
The Decision Making Ministry will have a lot on its plate when somebody is assassinated for instance.

Vasudeva Nanayakkara might want to celebrate the assassination - - oops, sorry, or at least if he doesn’t, some members of Rajapakse’s rainbow coalition will -- and Prabhakaran will if he joins, for sure. Meanwhile the JHU will want to declare a national day of mourning.

So he will have a tough decision on his hands. Declare a school holiday, or declare a national day of mourning? Have a fireworks display, or have sad music on the tube?
But his decision-making team will do that.

So if Rajapakse will not have any decisions to make courtesy his DMM - - he will also have nothing to do. What will he do to pass his six year term?? Ha, you think he agonizes over such a minor decision?
Plan to win another six years of course.

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