Mirror Magazine

Mirror Magazine

What’s your whacky wish?
By Tharangani Perera
It’s the finest morning of the year. As you read this, your mum is probably whipping up a great Christmas breakfast! And you’re probably delirious with happiness, because of all the wonderful presents you ripped open, which contained everything you ever wanted for Christmas! Or am I wrong? Suppose what you wanted for Christmas was your two front teeth or a magic calendar that had a five-day weekend, or to kick Rudolph in the tushy for polluting the area behind a handy shrub or two in your yard?

“I want to eat lots and lots of batter-fried cuttlefish in hot butter sauce, lots of Snickers bars, ice cream and all sorts of Christmas goodies,” says Brandy*. Her wish does not sound at all peculiar at the first glance, because everyone eats lots of Christmas goodies during this season. But Brandy is different from the rest of us, because her Christmas wish is to achieve a striking figure reminiscent of Salma Hayek through the digestion of these goodies!

“For Christmas, I want Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston to have a mud wrestling contest over me,” said Avi*, adding that the winner will get to accompany him in kicking Santa Claus off his sled to take it around the world on a romantic cruise on the eve of Christmas.

“I want to be invisible and be able to fly,” says Flo*, who also wishes for the ability to talk to animals. “When I achieve these supernatural powers, I will cause havoc along with my animal allies by leading them in a revolt against the human race! We will infiltrate governments and rebels, fight against the pathetic man-made systems, as our reign will far supersede the current way of life!” she continues, cackling with evil laughter. “MWA-HA-HA-HA!”

“My holidays should be filled with the essence of Christmas, which consists of some very important components: the sounds of danceable music and a black Mercedes convertible,” says Roonz*, explaining that her ideal Christmas eve would have her driving in her black Merc convertible, with the sounds of 50 Cent blaring on her car-radio.

“I want to solve the mystery of Santa Claus and his unlimited supply of funds this Christmas,” says Gali*, who is currently stumped in the process of publishing a book called Santa Exposed! This thriller, which is expected to be the runaway bestseller of the 21st century will break down the legend of Santa Claus. “It will contain a detailed description of everything that takes places within Santa Claus’ ‘Workshop,’ which according to rumours, receives daily bribes from the parents of all the ‘Good Children,’” he says, adding that so far, his investigation process has been slowed down, because of inside politics.

Santa’s new sidekick “Sunny”* is a philanthropic environmentalist, who feels strongly against the use of aeroplanes as a means of flying, due to their contribution to air pollution. “My Christmas wish is to be Santa’s new sidekick, and join him in the non-polluting, all expense paid trip around the world on his sleigh on Christmas Eve,” he says, practically dancing with excitement. “I will not have any visa problems when I travel, I will get to have lots of goodies, while helping the dude to deliver the gifts. It will be the best trip ever!” he proclaims.

It’s the season to be jolly, and yet, many oddballs will not be happy during this holiday season for various reasons. Before we leave you to enjoy whatever that fills your stocking this Christmas, whether it’s a huge explosion of cash, a miraculous calorie burning device that makes your body more stunning the more you eat, or an unexpected surprise from Santa Claus himself, we just want to say… MERRY CHRISTMAS!
(* Nicknames have been used!)

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