| Put
on the brakes: Learn to relax before everything falls apart
By Smriti Daniel
Life, as most of us live it, is simply exhausting. We drive ourselves
to squeeze the most out of our days – compelled by our own
expectations to make tremendous demands on ourselves. Young executives,
for instance, may move without a pause from heavy work to heavy
partying while those with families of their own struggle to juggle
deadlines at work and bedtime at home with their children.
The
fact is that everyone faces stress and that to some degree it is
unavoidable. However, the moment we begin to crumble under it –
emotionally, mentally or physically – is the moment we need
to learn to control and overcome it. Here are some simple tips to
help you de-stress and make the most of your life.
Slow
down
Accept the fact that once you’re late, you’re late and
rushing around will serve no purpose. If you rush you will only
become more anxious and make mistakes resulting in further delays.
Be systematic and stay calm and focused. Make sure you are not doing
something potentially dangerous when in that stressed state such
as driving or caring for your baby.
Inhale,
exhale
Breathe. Deep breathing can instantly reduce stress and increase
relaxation. Try taking a deep breath, and then releasing it twice
as slowly as you inhaled. "Change the breathing, and one's
mental state may be changed, too," writes Swami Kriyananda,
a direct disciple of Paramahansa Yogananda. He adds that deep breathing
practice will eventually relax any muscular restrictions that exist
in the area of the diaphragm and the upper part of the chest.
Complement
this by ensuring you have some quiet time for yourself – set
aside at least 15 minutes. Do this even if it means getting up a
few minutes earlier or staying up a few minutes later.
Stress
busting activities
Participate in activities that leave you with a sense of relaxation
and peacefulness. Some people may go for a walk in the park or simply
play a game of badminton in the garden – thereby releasing
endorphins with their physical activity and thus improving their
mood. If you find yourself wound up at work, take a moment to stretch
your stress away. Interestingly, some physical activities such as
yoga or tai chi, have a built-in relaxation response. Other activities
which inspire similar reactions include prayer and meditation.
Avoid
bringing work home
For some work is something that is routinely brought home, yet doing
this means that you carry all your work related stress back home
to your haven and to your family as well. Though on some occasions
this is unavoidable, draw the line very firmly at your weekends.
This can be difficult, meaning that you may have to stay in late
on some weekdays to finish the week’s tasks but the “free
and clear” weekend will more than make up for those extra
work hours.
Rediscover
your creativity
What activities do you enjoy? Think of ways to incorporate such
activities in your life. For instance if you enjoy watching things
grow, you could consider gardening on a small scale. Perhaps working
in the garden makes your back ache - but if you plant flowers in
pots, and work at a table of comfortable height, you may be able
to garden once again.
Activities
like writing poetry, painting or creating something beautiful from
wood or metal are also proven ways of reducing your stress levels.
Don’t
be harsh on yourself
That advice comes from psychologist Charlotte Davis Kasl, Ph.D.,
author of Finding Joy. “Life is often messy, uncertain, and
unpredictable,” she writes. “Sometimes it’s a
string of troubles that never seem to end. That’s normal.
Ups and downs are normal. Being ill on occasion is normal. Feeling
peaceful and happy is normal. Occasional low-energy days are normal.”
One can have real peace of mind by not getting attached to either
state - One simply observes the mood and the accompanying physical
state and then chooses to gently move toward balance as best one
can, accepting it as part of the rhythm of life.
Share
concerns
Don’t try to cope alone. Sharing your fears and hopes, anxieties
and anticipations with a trusted friend or family member can be
cathartic. Talk about your work project with a colleague; share
your worry with your spouse; verbalize your frustration with a good
friend. Talking things over always helps put issues into perspective,
and you won’t feel so alone with the problem.
If you are hesitant to burden a family member or friend with your
problem, put the matter down on paper. When under considerable stress,
give yourself 15 or 20 minutes of writing time over three or four
days. Without worrying about spelling, style, or grammar, just write
and get it all “off your chest”.
Avoid
the quick fix
“What you don’t want to do is resort to quick fixes
that have no staying power,” says stress psychologist Robert
Epstein, Ph.D. “Smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol, binging
on food––these are sure-fire stress failures,”
he declares. “They may give the impression they are relieving
tension, but they will not work over time, and sooner or later you
will be right back where you started.”
Just
say “no”
Don’t get caught in the trap of constantly trying to please
others and win approval from everyone. Much of our stress is the
result of trying to do it all and be everything to everyone. Some
effective ways to say no include a simple statement of fact: “I
can’t take that on right now because I have too many other
commitments.”
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