5th Column

Feeling blue? Then get some tips from the Green Man
My Dear Satellite,
I thought I must write to you, especially because so few people must be writing to you these days, now that you are no longer at the helm. The only letters you get, I suppose, are letters from the registrars of the courts of law, summoning you for this, that and the other!

But of course, Satellite we all know that is the way it is when you are out of power and out of place which is what you are now. And I am sure you must be wondering how unfair all this is.

Why, here you are, the leader who revived the Blues, led them to so many election victories and led the country through eleven long years though of course nothing much happened during that time-and now they are trying to not only to discard you but also to discredit you, all for a little piece of land in a village called Madiwela!

But just look at the other side, the Greens, and what do you see? There is the Green Man whose lifetime ambition it is to become the country's longest serving Leader of the Opposition. He has led the greens to more election defeats than John Kotelawela and Dudley Senanayake put together but just last week he survived yet another attempt to kill him off politically.

Of course he may not know how to smile at crowds or wave at them but you have to concede, Satellite, that the man is a master when he comes to survival within his own party. If memory serves me right, they tried to get rid of him when he lost in '99 too, but not only did he survive, he also returned as Prime Minister two years later to give you headache after headache.

Contrast that to the treatment you get from your own ranks for getting the Blues to where they are now: your cheques are withheld, your security is compromised, they are querying the need for you to have an official residence in Colombo and now they are asking you to appear in Court too!

I think you should get yourself a good lawyer, Satellite- perhaps that Choksy chap who has been hired by the kasippu and beedi companies to defend their 'right' to ply their trades anywhere they want. Tell those who are summoning you that the land deal was approved by the then Cabinet where you-know-who was Prime Minister and that should silence them, at least for a while…
But as you well know, Satellite, the law works in mysterious ways in this country. There you were, a decade ago charging everyone with criminal defamation and here you are now, receiving summons yourselves. Being the good Buddhist that you are I am sure you will call it 'karumey' and not worry too much about it.

Of course, Satellite, even 'karumey' works in funny ways in this country. For instance, there is your former lieutenant, SB, still spending his time behind the bars of Merchant Ward for calling the law an ass. Then there is your worthy relative, Colonel Maama and his offspring walking free after being accused of conspiracy to murder, because of what is politely called "lack of evidence"…
So, Satellite, if I were you, I wouldn't worry too much about all these summons coming your way. Remember, you are still the leader of the Blues, even though you couldn't get your man appointed to Parliament for Kadir's seat. The party leadership is one thing that you should hold on to-if you have any doubts about that, just ask the Green Man!

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS- And don't worry too much about your place in history either, just because you did nothing for the country during your eleven years at the top. After all, history tells us that we in this country appreciate the true worth of a President, only after a few years of his or her successor being in office. And that's generally true of everyone since JRJ, isn't it? So, who knows, after a few years of MR, there may still come a time when people may actually want you back!!

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